Dog Community

Someone got engaged...someone else broke up

Posted : 12/26/2007 10:55:48 AM

My b/f and I of 5 years have come to an impasse and I've chosen to end it. I love him more than I can express, but feel as if I'm little more than a convenience to him. I've addressed it numerous times, to no avail. During the first two years of the relationship, he was attentive, caring, and considerate. I don't know what changed. I know he won't agree to counseling since he doesn't think the way he treats me is a problem (he treats most people with the same indifference and that is his rationalization). I cannot change him, I can only change me, so looks like my dilemma of this past summer "Bear vs. The Boyfriend" has been solved. It's me and Bear. And a whole lot more time in my therapist's office.

I did wait until today, the day after Christmas, to do it. That does make me slightly less of a witch, doesn't it?

rwbeagles

Posted : 12/26/2007 10:57:49 AM

Tina you gotta do what's best for you. You have my support and you are NOT witch so you stoppit!

snownose

Posted : 12/26/2007 11:35:44 AM

You should be proud of yourself that you realize you need more....and are actually doing something about it....

Theodosia

Posted : 12/26/2007 11:43:18 AM

I hope it begins a year of good things for you.

alieliza

Posted : 12/26/2007 11:47:04 AM

Theodosia
I hope it begins a year of good things for you.

I have to second this sentiment. I give you a lot of credit for doing what you know is right for yourself. Stay strong and you know we are all here for you if you're in need of support.

gradyupmybutt

Posted : 12/26/2007 12:18:49 PM

Good for you, Tina! You made a tough decision. I'm proud of you, lady! You are NOT a witch. There's no really "good" time to break up. Here's to a new beginning & WONDERFUL things ahead for you. We are here for you & so is Bear. ((TINA))

MissMandy

Posted : 12/26/2007 12:20:29 PM

I'm thirding that sentiment! Good for you for standing up for yourself. Chances are, once the pain wears off, you'll be so glad that you did it. Here's to a great fresh start.

And for what it's worth, you're not a witch. As my Dad always says: You've got to look out for #1.

calliecritturs

Posted : 12/26/2007 12:22:39 PM

A. No you are not a witch in ANY sense of the word (and he's probably too indifferent to notice? -- dn't sweat it!)

B. RAH for you!!! DOUBLE RAH for Bear!

C. I'm always amazed at people who 'wait' until January 1 to make a big change. END the year right -- it lessens the stress on January 1 and by then you've had a bit of time to 'deal'. I booted MY ex out on December 2 (so am I the Wicked Witch of Floor-daaaa??? Nope!!) and I walked into some relatively BIG changes (quit my job, changed my locks, invited a friend to come spend the Holidays that was just someone I knew "cyber" - literally JUST a 'friend' but thru him I got to know David!!!)

DO it and enjoy it. Sometimes love is NOT enough. If "love" were all it took then the divorce rate would be less than half of what it is.

You got 'Bear' so you got the best end of the deal. There are BUNCHES of us who have been thru this on here -- so holler if we can help!!! Don't get too tired, don't get too hungry, don't get too 'stressed' and REACH OUT!! (that was sage advice someone gave me, and dang .. it's true!!)

janobonano

Posted : 12/26/2007 12:23:43 PM

Only you know what's best for you. I don't think you're a witch at all. Take a deep breath and move on. You've got a fresh path for the new year.

FourIsCompany

Posted : 12/26/2007 12:34:43 PM

That sounds tough, but you know what's right for you and Bear. Hugs...

sharismom

Posted : 12/26/2007 12:39:14 PM

Thanks, everyone, for the kind words and moral support. I know the hurt will subside.

One of my male co-workers summed it up pretty well when he said "You're better off without him - he was never available to you anyway."

I know he is right, but I still had a glimmer of hope until around Thanksgiving. Since then I've had a lot of sleepless nights and headaches.

Here's to more adequate sleep and a new start in the new year. Drinks Please feel free to join in the toast!

FourIsCompany

Posted : 12/26/2007 12:40:38 PM

Cheers!

Jewlieee

Posted : 12/26/2007 1:00:54 PM

That really does say it well, doesn't it? That he was never available to you anyway...No doubt that hurts like hell regardless because I'm sure that you wanted it to work out. At least you can now move on to something/someone else. I love starting new years with a fresh start. Be sure to take advantage of it!

Cheers.

miranadobe

Posted : 12/26/2007 2:50:14 PM

gradyupmybutt

Good for you, Tina! You made a tough decision. I'm proud of you, lady! You are NOT a witch. There's no really "good" time to break up. Here's to a new beginning & WONDERFUL things ahead for you. We are here for you & so is Bear. ((TINA))

Ditto everything she said. Good for you for being strong and not settling for less than what you know is good for you.

gradyupmybutt

Posted : 12/26/2007 3:44:32 PM

Count me in on the toasting! You know what? The more I think of it the more proud I am of you. Go girl!!!