Fear of posting, lack of trust, hurt feelings

Oh, and, SAY WHAT YOU WANT TO SAY.  No need to fear posting here, cuz if anyone gets out of line, I'll slap them for you....or sic my shepherds on them. []

*takes deep breath*
Alright, here goes.
 
 
I dont have a dog.
*looks around nervously, then continues*
I have never had a dog.
That drawing I have for my avatar?
My friend's dog.
Cute little thing. Mixed breed... Scotty x Basset x weasel x cat.
Anyhow.
No dog.
I don't plan on getting a dog anytime soon.
I can't even have dogs where I live.
I feel like such a fraud, posting on a dog people's forum.
I JUST THOUGHT THE BOARD LOOKED COOL.
*sighs, then breaks down into hysterical yet relieved tears*
That's a real weight off my shoulders. []

Well I'll jump into the fray here....
 
I took some time away from the Behavior and Training threads because of a great deal of bickering over silly stuff.  I was equally as guilty, but even so it became a great big dog fight (pun intended) over there.
 
I did learn that the "Block" button was and is a very useful tool.[]
 
I just wish that individuals would realize that when questioning someone's methods, it is not a personal attack upon that individual. 
 
I agree that there are nice ways to say things, but sometimes the "nice" way doesn't get the point across as strenuously as being very forthright and direct.  There are alot of people that are very passionate about some very sensitive subjects: nutrition, breeding and rescue come to mind immediately but there are a bunch more I'm sure.  I think the knee-jerk reaction that alot of us have is due to our passion in these particular areas.  I liken our reactions to that of a parent who is watching his/her child cross into the street when a car in oncoming.  If it's my kid I'm yelling at them immediately.  If I hurt their feelings, so be it.  At least they're in one piece, shook up or not. 
 
It's easy to lay down feelings and opinions as facts.  But I think we need to remember that dogs don't fall into the "one method/size fits all" mold.  Each and every dog is different and what works in most cases doesn't work in all.

Maybe I am totally naive, but I think that I stay pretty neutral. It is few and far between that I engage in fights or nastiness over something I disagree about. Maybe Im wrong, and if I've ever offended anyone I apologize, but I've been able to maintain a pretty happy relationship with this forum and the participators.

Thanks Ed.  Good points.  Maybe we should all TRY to remember the Golden Rule?  I absolutely understand passion, and am guilty of it myself, but I do try to remember that there is a real live person connected to the other end of that post that ticked me off, or whatever.

Some of us were really unpleasant to Mary (DaneHaven) about her comments in the classified forum.  In the past there have been cracks made about "garbage in, garbage out"....I specifically remember Angel being beaten up over what she was feeding her accidental litter, which got her skewered to begin with.....yep, she WAS feeding junk, but she didn't KNOW any better and the poor gal just got beaten BLOODY over it.  Yep, she SHOULD have run Sarah to the vet for a spay right away, BUT she saved this girl from death, wasn't expecting vet bills, didn't know enough, or whatever, and boom, pups.  I guess my feeling is basically, what is done is done, and while I might express my dismay, I also know that HELP is what is needed and not flame retardant.  But I've been guilty too.

I really would hope that people who are AFRAID to comment would let the rest of us know WHY????
 
ETA:  I don't personally care WHY folks are here, but I would assume that they at least love dogs.  And, Azalia?  No one is here to point fingers at anyone.....this is just meant to be a general SAFE place to vent.

Hah,,,,hey Sketchy, then you can't get into any dog arguments here!!! LOL!  or can you???????????????

I agree that there are nice ways to say things, but sometimes the "nice" way doesn't get the point across as strenuously as being very forthright and direct. 

   BUT forthright and direct can be nice.   
I think we all need to remember that everyones opinion is JUST THAT an opinion...even our own.  WE feel strongly about what we believe in, but always remember that no matter how strong that is, it is not always right either. And just because we have found a friend to stick up for us and agree with us, doesn't always make them right either.
Glenda your right, at this point you almost have to stay away from certain threads because you KNOW your going to get in an argument. That should not be - but it is. I can tell you,,  and Glenda knows it...get me into a shock collar conversation,,,right Glenda??? Glenda used to PM me and threaten me that she would not talk to me anymore if I get on a shock collar thread...[] So, unfortunately, I don't even read the good advise that is sometimes on the behavior threads.....I know exactly what I am doing with my dog and what she needs most of the time,,,,but I can't tell anyone what works for me because I would get into an argument with 10 people!  AND that NEVER has to be. Mainly because too many people think they are right ALWAYS about EVERYTHING...and won't even listen to the next person unless that person agrees. Thats probably true in most threads..for sure behaviour and nutrition.
I think its always ALL ABOUT BEING NICE. We can all talk, give opinions only if we accept others opinions.

ETA??
 
To me ETA is "estimated time of arrival", so there must be a different meaning.

OK, I'll jump in too.  I think on a message board people can't see the expression on your face or hear the tone of your voice, so it's easier to offend someone without really meaning to. I do think it's possible to have a discussion on, say, nutrition without telling someone they're killing their dog  because they feed a food you don't think is "up  there" with what you feed. If someone, especially a newbie, comes to the forum to get information because their dog is about to have pups, that might not be the best time to jump on them about why their dog isn't spayed. Give them the info they need to insure healthy pups & mom, and gently suggest spaying as soon as it's possible to do it.  They might be more willing to listen. I think a lot of people have been run off because they were made to feel stupid and undeserving of even owning a dog. There's nothing wrong with saying "OK, you have your opinion and I have mine.  We'll just agree to disagree on this one." []
 
Joyce

[sm=rofl.gif][sm=rofl.gif]  edited to ADD, Ms Smarty Pants!!!  [sm=rofl.gif][sm=rofl.gif][sm=rofl.gif]  Boy I'm glad you're back!
 
Yep, Dyan has gotten a good many "threats" from me.  And "for GAWDS sake, just shut up about it already" emails!  NOT because she's wrong in what she's doing but because she just digs the hole deeper trying to defend herself, when she shouldn't need to......

ORIGINAL: dyan

Hah,,,,hey Sketchy, then you can't get into any dog arguments here!!! LOL!  or can you???????????????

 
I don't know... I seem to have a talent for getting into arguments regarding things I know absolutely nothing about. [] Horses, cars, child-rearing, religions I've never heard of....

ORIGINAL: Sketchy

*takes deep breath*
Alright, here goes.


I dont have a dog.
*looks around nervously, then continues*
I have never had a dog.
That drawing I have for my avatar?
My friend's dog.
Cute little thing. Mixed breed... Scotty x Basset x weasel x cat.
Anyhow.
No dog.
I don't plan on getting a dog anytime soon.
I can't even have dogs where I live.
I feel like such a fraud, posting on a dog people's forum.
I JUST THOUGHT THE BOARD LOOKED COOL.
*sighs, then breaks down into hysterical yet relieved tears*
That's a real weight off my shoulders. []

No worries.  I don't have a dog either at the moment.  Lease agreement won't allow for one.  We are planning on adding one hopefully within the year when we buy our house (we start house hunting in May).  Prior, I lived with a shih tzu for 10 years and was involved in some aspect of the dog world (former groomer though I left that business because of several reasons). 

I came to this site, because its simply one of the better run (and active to boot) sites for dogs I have come across.  At times I wish the tone was kinder, but that probably stems for my years spent moderating and participating at another forum (unrelated to dogs, or other pets).  I have found some of the posts here a bit hostile, even if I know the poster is just speaking passionately.  Reading words behind a computer screen becomes incrediably tricky, trying to judge tone.  In person we have so many more "cues" available to us to determine whether we are being "attacked" or not.  However I realize, from personal experience, how difficult it is to convey your feelings in a forum all the while trying to assure it's not the person you are attacking. 

But, can you imagine how savvy Sketchy will be if that one special dog ever arrives on the doorstep...?  []

I guess I just figure no one can make me feel inferior without my permission, so I have not been afraid to post. 
But, clearly there is a difference between plain, if direct, language (which some people will take offense to anyway) and outright ridicule (which is never in good taste).

I'll add my view here.  I am a long time member (over 3 years). I don't post a lot, but I read a lot.
In person I am very outgoing and can start a conversation with anyone in a checkout line!  Here.....I'll admit it.....I am sometimes afraid to post.  I have seen some of the reactions, and I don't want to be the brunt of them. There are some posters here who can be downright nasty at times.
So, I just tend to post about my own issues, and stay out of everyone else's.  This doesn't mean I don't care about what is happening in other member's lives--I do.  I miss reading posts from some of those who have left.
Ok, I'll step back into the corner now and continue to watch!

Well, since you asked. . .the thing that has always bugged me is that people can be so close minded.  There is more than one way to do something.  It seems like for people here there is their way and animal abuse and nothing in between.  The situation needs to be looked at from an individual point of view, what's right for that dog and that owner.