I need to know what you guys think of my story so far, and where else I could take it. Because I'm on page 6 of 10 and I'm wanting to conclude. Any suggestions, are greatly appreciated, as is constructive criticism.
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My large dog lunged at the end of the leash, acting like a maniac. August struggled against his weight, but refused my help.
“I’m sorry,” I said, “he doesn’t usually act like this going to the dog park.”
“It’s
fine,” August said about the time Mutt’s leather collar released a
threatening creak. We looked at each other, but his collar held. The
couple of blocks to the park were torture for August, constantly
fighting with the dog. Our discussion was brief, interrupted by the dog
pulling this way or that, but from what August told me it was a typical
English winter – wet and dreadfully cold. He’d gotten in just a few
days before our first snow. The snow was on the ground for maybe that
day, and then quickly melted.
“How’d everythin’ go back ‘ere?”
“As well as could be expected, I suppose.”
“Obviously not too terrible,” Mutt lurched sharply to the left, “else I wouldn’t be ‘ere.”
I
shrugged, and opened the gate to the dog park. Mutt was now running in
circles around the end of his leash, and as soon as August got hold of
him, he let him off. I glared at him.
“Wot?”
“Now we have to go get him.”
Mutt
seemed to stop to greet every person, as if taunting us, the unfit. He
could run circles around us. He did run circles around us. When we
caught up with him, I could see why he’d been so excited. He sat, head
on Neil’s hip, tail wagging furiously. The only man he’d ever really
taken to.
“Hey,” I said quietly, “thanks for catching him.”
Neil
nodded and eyed August, I could tell from the look on his face that he
thought he knew whom I was with and that he didn’t approve.
“August. Neil.”
“’Ello. Heard a lot about you,” he extended his hand.
Neil nodded again, “And I you.” He did not take August’s hand. Mutt calmed down having found his target, and Neil released him.
“Oscar here?” I asked.
Again, I was answered by a nod.
Mutt had already found Oscar and was chasing him in huge circles around the three of us.
“He’s the train guy,” Neil said finally.
“I suppose. If that’s what you want to call him.”
Neil looked back over at him, not hiding the fact that he didn’t approve. “We’ve digressed, haven’t we?”
“Don’t be so rude. I know you don’t like him. You don’t even know him. Just play nice. For me?”
The
anger seemed to diminish in Neil’s eyes and he looked back at me and
nodded. I called Mutt over and sat on the ground, Mutt’s head in my
lap. Across from me, Neil and August sat on a bench. It was still cold,
and I quickly learned the ground was still wet. I stayed where I was
sitting though, so that I could see both men.
The contrast
between them amazed me. August was English, from Salford, and just
three inches taller than myself. They might have weighed the same, but
only because August was more fit than Neil, and carried the weight
better. August’s jaw was square, his eyes a startling blue. They
reminded me, ironically, of the Mediterrian Sea which I had seen when I
was with Neil.
Neil was six inches taller than me, and he acted
every inch of it. That is, unless he was sick, and then he slumped over
acting pathetic. It worked, he looked quite pathetic when he was sick,
I often pitied him. His eyes were brown and expressive. I would say
they reminded me of a deer, but I don’t think that’s particularly
flattering.His hair looked like John Cusack’s in High Fidelity. He
rather looked like John Cusack. August’s hair was light brown, cut to a
militarily short length. I wonder how he kept his head warm; I don’t
recall ever seeing him wear a hat.
“So what do you do?” Neil broke the silence.
August and I looked at each other confused.
“Which of us?”
Neil looked up from the ground, “Sorry. You, August.”
“Uh… steel worker. When I’m not in school, that is. And odd jobs ‘round town.”
“You work on the rails?”
“No, mate. Same stuff, just not my department.”
“Why do you like trains so much, then? You don’t work on them.”
“Why do you like readin’ so much? You aren’t writin’ ‘em.”
“Boys. Settle down.” Oscar lay down at Neil’s feet.
Neil
snorted in disgust. I knew he thought that August and I were involved,
though we’d never been. August was just a friend. Just a friend, I on
occasion got into trouble with while watching trains in the early
morning hours. The story that I had been out doing something else was
neither of our faults. We had my parents and coworkers to thank for
that. Partly that incident caused me to move out briefly. I can’t say
we exactly reconciled, but my parents and I worked things out to the
best of their ability and I went back to living with them. During this
time, I’d heard that Neil was out and about considering moving back to
Indiana. I couldn’t blame him, but I wished I could talk to him more
especially about August.
“It’s not what you’re thinking, Neil.”
“What’s not?”
“The
trains. They should… more clearly label what is and isn’t rail
property. It’s not like there were signs saying ‘Don’t Park Here’ or
‘Vehicles Will Be Towed at Owner’s Expense’.”
“I don’t want to hear about it.”
“Then don’t act like such a [jerk] about it.”
Neil
seemed like he was staring holes in me. He looked away toward the far
fence line. I wasn’t sure if it was my language or my tone that had
upset him this time.
“It’s not like you were here then.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Moving home? So your brothers and your parents can see how little you’ve accomplished?”
“You have no place to say such things!”
“Neither do you.”
“Wot place do I ‘ave?”
Neil
and I looked at August shocked. We’d forgotten he was there. He was
drawing in the damp sand with a stick I hadn’t noticed he’d picked up.
Mutt picked his head up from my lap, and turned his head sideways at
August. Mutt raised his eyebrows one at a time and let out a soft,
sympathetic whimper before plopping his head back down in my lap. His
eyes went from me to August and back.
“What do you mean?”
Neil laughed, “Loverboy wants to know ‘Wot place he ‘as.’ Do tell us.”
It was my and August’s turn to stare incredulously at Neil.
“Is that your problem, then, mate?”
“I
don’t have a problem! I don’t think June needs to be dating people
who’re taking her train watching at three or four in the morning!”
“Um… no. You are not going to start this here. You don’t have to attack August because you’re jealous.”
“It’s not safe!”
“Wot d’you know about it? Hmm?”
“He doesn’t know a damn thing. He thinks he does, but he doesn’t know me. And he doesn’t know trains.”
“People
get killed doing less stupid things. Am I supposed to let you go out to
the boonies and watch trains with some guy you don’t even know? Am I
supposed to be okay with that?”
Neil jumped to his feet,
startling both dogs. He quickly walked away from August and I, leaving
Oscar confused and stuck in the middle. Finally, he called to Oscar,
who left reluctantly. August and I stared at each other for an instant.
I shook my head and put it in my hand.
“I am so sorry for that.”
“He comin’ back?”
“I don’t know,” I looked over my shoulder. “I don’t know. Why?”
“Should you go after ‘im?”
“Why would I do that?”
August looked at me as if I’d grown antenna. “No bloke gets that messed up angry over a friend.”
“You haven’t met my friends.”
“Don’t be a fool.”
“Excuse me?”
“You heard me. Don’t be a fool,” August tilted his head in Neil’s direction.
Oscar
was still off leash. I got up and quickly headed in his direction, a
barely awake Mutt following behind. I started jogging. I could see Neil stop and shake his
head, his shoulders heaved like he was sighing. He put a hand up to his
face, almost like he was trying not to cry. Then he looked over his
shoulder.
Our eyes met and I looked at him hoping he wouldn’t
leave. He looked away and bent down and clipped the leash to Oscar’s
collar. He started walking toward the exit, when I was within a
reasonable calling distance I said his name. He stopped, shoulders
drooping.
“Don’t… don’t leave like this.”
“Why not? What difference does it make to you?”
“I just, couldn’t stand feeling like I was going to lose you over some silly trains.”
“Silly
trains, huh? You’re going to defend him and come over here and tell me
about the silly trains? I thought I said I didn’t want to hear it!”
“I
know you don’t. Maybe you need to. Over there I was drowning like I am
here, August saved me from myself. He saved me in the only way you
couldn’t – he was there for me. Every time I needed him.”
“Right. Next time, call and I’ll fly right over.”
“You know that’s not what it’s all about. Even here you couldn’t always be there. Your wife…”
“My wife? My ex-wife? She, what? Kept us apart? Maybe I did that!”
“I know.”
“What?”
I shook my head, “I’m not stupid, Neil. I know you don’t want to hear about it. But it’s killing me that you won’t let me say.”
“Why for?”
“Because you think it’s too important. That it’ll change everything.”
“Won’t it though?”
Neil
had always done this. I knew what to expect from him. The more he
disapproved the louder he got. He yelled so that he didn’t have to
listen to me talk. And I let him; time and time again, I let him do
that. He acted like a child. He hadn’t always, but since his marriage,
things had gotten progressively more juvenile. I’d heard rumors of his
divorce, but until that moment nothing had been confirmed by any party
involved.“Maybe it will.
"What difference does it make anymore? What have we got to lose?”
“Nothin’,” August interjected. He’d walked over to us, hoping to allow us some time to talk. Neil turned away from him.
“What do you want, Loverboy?”
August laughed, “You really don’t get it.”
“Don’t get what?”
“Neil, you’re not listening. There is nothing going on between August and I.”
Neil raised an eyebrow, “Really? Nothing between you and your 4 AM train-watching buddy? Why do I find that hard to believe?”
“Because you want to believe that I don’t care about you. So you can go home, go back to Indiana and not feel any regret.”
“So you can think she’d never be anythin’ more. That she moved on.”
I
looked at the ground and blushed. August was better informed about Neil
than the other way around, mainly because August would listen when Neil
wouldn’t. And he’d listened to hours of Neil talk. That’s what we were
doing that night watching trains. I was depressed about being so far
away, and I was missing Neil. So August took me out to get some late
night food and to watch trains while I talked to him.
“What does he know?”
“Everything, Neil,” I paused, biting the insides of my lower lip. “The whole train incident, that was all about you.”
“How? I most certainly was not over there.”
“He’s mighty dense, June. I don’ get it,” August scoffed.
“He was being nice. He was listening to me talk about you.”
“Why would he want to hear about that?”
“Because he’s my friend.”
“Well, Loverboy, where’d you learn that trick?”
August
shook his head in disbelief, “Bloke, you’re terribly mistaken. I’m not
datin’ June. I didn’ think it’d matter, but bloke, I’m gay.”
August
rocked back on his heels, as if anticipating a negative reaction from
Neil. I looked at him and raised an eyebrow he only shrugged in
response. Not anticipating – waiting, bored even.
“So… why didn’t you tell me beforehand?”
“Did you miss the ‘You weren’t listenin’ part’?”
“No, bud, think I got that part,” he paused, “I’m not moving back to Indiana.”
“Why not?”
“I
was never planning on moving back to Indiana. I was looking at houses
down here. I was looking for a studio for a photographer friend of
mine. She once said she’d like to use me as a model, if I weren’t so
cheeky. I could learn.”
“What are you saying?”
Neil puts his hands in his pockets and shrugged, “Maybe, I could… you know. Do that. If, you still wanted to.”
“You’d set aside space for me?”
“Yeah. I could, be there when you needed me to.”
“June, don’ question it! It’s what you’ve been sayin’ you wanted!”
Neil and I both blushed and looked at the ground. I smiled the half-smile that showed off my teeth.