Dog Community

The Bed that Threw Me

Posted : 4/12/2006 8:05:42 AM

Zippy wishes that I pass on this story to you all. He entitles it, "The Bed that Threw Me" by Zippy the Small Dog Carson.

I'm just a small dog. A Papillon, a butterfly ear dog, according to my mom, "Small Dog", "booger butt", and something about the cutest little thing. It's OK, I like to be snuggled anyway. But here is the thing - she has a bed obsession. One day I will break her of this.

I had a fine bed. It was mine. It was burgundy, soft, warm, and had a little dent where I liked to sleep. Then, one day, SHE decided to give my bed away. Who did she give it to, you ask? She gave it to that red dog, Ginger. So, next thing I know, SHE brings home this small bed. SHE says to me, "Small Dog, here is your new Small Bed. Look how soft and fluffy it is? See, its even plaid and will match the decor in the bedroom!" What's decor? Who cares? Can I eat it?

Anyway, to go on with my story, I decided to indulge her. It was bedtime, and I tried to climb on my new bed. Every step I took sounded like a bag of paper bags, "swoosh, swoosh, swoosh, urp, eek, swoosh". I finally found a spot, and did my trademark three-spin-double-gainer-bed-flop. It was a doozy, though, because that bed THREW me! Right across the room it threw me, into the floor. Like a buckin' bronco it did.

So, I sighed in disgust (loudly, of course, because why should SHE sleep if I cannot??) and began the routine again. Swoosh, swoosh, swoosh, urp, eek, swoosh, double-gainer-bed-flop..... sliiiiiiiiiide WHUMP! Small Dog on the floor. *sighs*

Over and over the bed threw me. It shredded my dignity it did. I'm not sure why, but eventually SHE called me up on the People bed, grumbling something about a bed being sent to pergatory. What's pergatory?? What does scoot over mean? And stop hogging the covers? SHE was messing up my perfectly sculpted ear hairs, I'll tell you that much. So what if I used her chest as a spring board? I'm the Small Dog, I do things like that.

To my surprise can you guess what awaited my eager Small Dog self the next night? A new bed. With sides on it. And quiet stuffied fleece.

Now the bed that threw me lies in the floor, tossed aside and scorned. See, who said Small Dogs can't rule??

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I allowed him to tell his story on another forum the other night, and they wanted pics. So, he asked that I illustrate for you all, since he doesn't know how to work the photobucket thingie.

Bed that was stolen and given to Ginger:

Bed that threw Zippy:

Zippy not quite willing to get back on the evil bed:

And the NEW bed:

nigguysmom

Posted : 4/12/2006 8:16:17 AM

Dear Zippy,
The key is to remove the evil stuffing from the bed while Mom is asleep, that will fix the problem quite nicely.

Sincerely,
Sydney

forpaws

Posted : 4/12/2006 8:18:16 AM

Zippy, my mommy busted a blood vessel in her face when she read your story entitled "The Bed That Threw Me" She thought that was the funniest thing she has ever read. She said something about a visual. Don't know what that means.
It was nice of your mom to let you sleep in the BIG bed with her an I don't know why they get upset over simple things like a foot in your face, or bouncing off their tummies either? Go Figure???
I like your new bed and hope you break it in soon. I will NOT sleep in my own bed, only in the big one with mommy. My brother Dilly trys to curl up in a bed about your size and he hangs out all over the place, but his pooties are warm.

Peace out Nikki

thedoc617

Posted : 4/12/2006 8:31:10 AM

Hi Zippy,

I'm sorry your bed was given away. That's why I'm happy I dont have siblings at my second house. I get a really big bed there- but at this house I get to sleep ON the bed.

Was this bed squishy and felt like it was made of wood chips? I had one of those once and it really wasn't too comfortable. I have a basket with sides now and it's a lot of fun to sleep in- very cozy.

I'm glad you got a new bed. I hope your mom destroys the bed that threw you off. What a horrible thing to do! It should go to jail or somethin

Bye
Daisy

forpaws

Posted : 4/12/2006 8:37:27 AM

Hey Zippy,

I had to share this with ya. It must be an epidemic or somethin cause Dilly just fell out of mom's recliner, right on the floor! The chair must have spit him out like your new old bed did to you too!

Mom laughed so hard, she had her coffee all over me and the floor! What an awful smell!
An you should have seen the look on his puss!

Nikki

dogslyfe

Posted : 4/12/2006 8:51:39 AM

Sydney, I never even thought about that! I will have to try it!! Will it get me dirty? I don't like to get dirty. Think it will get me back on the big bed again??

Nikki, I don't know why they get so upset about feet in the face either. I like to give my Mom lots of kisses, and for some reason she screws up her face and tells me to "knock it off". I don't know what that means, but I stop because she sounds mad. Dad gives her kisses all the time and she doesn't tell HIM to knock it off. I get him back, though, because when he's not looking I hump him. I like my new bed, though. It's soft, and just the right size. Unfortunately it doesn't make any annoying noises when I move, so that takes *some* of the fun out of it.

Daisy, yes it feels like wood chips. I don't know WHAT my Mom was thinking when she bought that thing. Believe it or not, she hasn't thrown it away yet - I think she thinks one of us will actually sleep on it. *giggles* yeah right.

Sweet Dreams,
Zippy

dogslyfe

Posted : 4/12/2006 8:53:56 AM

Oh oh, Nikki, the coffee bath?? My Mom says that HER father has a rocking chair that once broke and threw HIM across the room. What is it with recliners? I hope Dilly is Ok. Wish I could have seen it though.

Sweet Dreams,
Zippy

forpaws

Posted : 4/12/2006 9:26:36 AM

Zippy,

Oh, I feel for your mom's dad. One time I sat on top of my mom's head when I was younger, I don't do that too much anymore cause I cannot see too good, but the next thing I knew I was airborn. Mom got out of the rocking chair and it slung me across the room. Freaked me out and mom too. But the devil laughed at me too, like she did at Dilly, once she found out I was ok and not hurt or anything like that. It wasn't even our chair. We were at one of her friends for a visit. Hrumph......
In fact, I recall they both had a good laugh over it. How rude!

Mom got the coffee out of my coat, thank goodness.

Mom also said she wished she had a picture of Dilly's face when he was tossed out of the recliner to post on the board. Mom laughed so hard she sprung a leak, water coming out of her eyes. Boy, when she laughes that hard we all want to wash her face cause we think she's crying. AND, she makes these weird noises too!

I give mommy kisses all the time. She never ever gets upset at me or any of us when we lick the flavor out of her coat. I even bathe her. One of my Sweety Tzu tasks ya know.
Hey, my mom says that too, Knock it off when my brothers get out of control playing too rough. Seems to work.
Ha, ha, you give your daddy a good hump over! I don't care if my daddy kisses mom, but Dilly sure does. He gets really upset and wines, barks, even gets inbetween them to make em stop.

You do look like you are happier with the new bed. Mommy said you seem to be saying, "Now, that's more like it"

Maybe one of your bigger brothers or sisters will take over the green thing like my brother did with my bed. There is always hope ya know.

~~ Peace out~~
Nikki

Debbie R

Posted : 4/12/2006 10:05:53 AM

[sm=smack.gif] Ohhhh, Zippy, this is terrible, I think the problem is that your mommy doesn't know her Papillions, she needs to get another one from the rescue.
Paps never sleep on crinkly things it is beneath us, as we are interior designers, we are comfort creatures. We don't pull sleds, or hunt birds or guard houses, so we had better be cute and cuddly, and that we have down pat.
I'm glad you got a new bed you really deserve it!
Love Brando and Trixie

dogslyfe

Posted : 4/12/2006 10:45:15 AM

Dearest Brando and Trixie, I keep trying to explain this to my Mom (and Dad calls her "The Big Mama" - they're so odd). I am a creature of comfort - a King among the lowly Border Collies and that red dog, Ginger. *sighs*

I heard Dad yelling at her the other day though, because she was looking at something on her big box thing. He said something about no more dogs, but I don't know enough about that big box thing to know. I do know that I have a new pack mate coming in the fall, but its another grungy Border Collie. But, Dad says that when we get our farm Mom can have another Pap, to keep me company. I have decided to give the Bed that Threw Me to Bree - she likes to hump dog beds. She's very strange.

Sweet Dreams,
Zippy

dogslyfe

Posted : 4/12/2006 10:47:16 AM

Hey, Nikki, I'm going to try to explain that about the kisses to my Mom - after all, if YOUR Mom likes it there must not be too much wrong with it!! I suppose I can a little understand, because Ginger tries to give me kisses all the time, and I hate it. I make scary noises at her, but she keeps on doing it.

forpaws

Posted : 4/12/2006 1:31:07 PM

Zippy, Ginger must like you cause she even is trying to look like a Pap in the one pic you showed us. Don't let her stress ya out, relax an enjoy the cleanin. I loves to clean my bubba, Beau, da pitty. At first he also made weird noises at me an the evil eye too. Till moma said relax an enjoy the lickies. Now he do. An when I get goin...... I do a fantastic job of makin him shine. Try it some time.
Mom says ta tell your mom she should let ya give her kisses, especially since they are small kissies an not sometin like her BIG dog she takes care of an when ya been kissed by dat dog... .You know ya been face washed. She said it is a Saint Bernard.... Ewwww....

minimom

Posted : 4/12/2006 2:25:07 PM

[align=left]Hi Zippy! i like yur name. my name is skywer. why do moms always wanna mess wif our beds? just when i got my ole bed fixed just rite, my mom got me a new one! but it dont look like a bed it looks like a itty-bitty couch. and it dont feel like a bed. ya no - it dont even feel like a couch! so i worked reel hard to fix it up and i accidently digged a little hole in it. so den my mom put sum blankies on it. so den i had to fix da blankies! now everday she fold up the blankies all nice and neet and evernite i gotta fix em agin! i spend half my nite-nite time fixen dat dum bed! and she wonder why i gotta snooz so much durin da day! ok by-by, yur friend skywer.

gradyupmybutt

Posted : 4/12/2006 8:48:19 PM

Hey Zippy, wuts up wit dat Ginger dawg? She's trying to steal our look. Duzn't she kno that only paps can have earz like doze? Criminy. Brando & Trixie are right. We are the original designer dawgz. We can find the softest, cumfiest spotz in da house. Mom got me a bed thing but I never uze it. It's much nicer to sleep by her. Mom makes doze funny faces too when I try to kiss her. I don't get it. She tasteses good & I just want to tell her I love her & am glad she took me away from the bad home. They didn't even know I like pillows. They made me sleep in a bare cage. No blankies, nuttin!

Aspen

Sera_J

Posted : 4/12/2006 8:51:27 PM

Zippy, that sounds like fun! I love to bounce, I can bounce where there isn't anything to bounce on! Mom calls me a "Tigger" sometimes... she said it's cat. I don't get it. I'm a dog. You're a good lookin' pup, I wish we could play, I'd bounce on the bed and then you could. That'd be fun.

I like chicken.

SMOOOCHES!
Nikki