Dog Community

Is it so wrong to have a desire to re-home a dog?

Posted : 3/14/2007 1:11:05 PM

Long story. I have a 7 year old GSD/Husky mix, a 1 year old Aussie, and a 7 week old Husky. Is it so TERRIBLE to want to find a new home for my Aussie? We rescued him 9 months ago, because we were ready for a 2nd dog, and this guy was in need. We wanted a Husky back then, but never ran across one that was suitable (rescue). 2 weeks ago, we ran across the pup at a flea market. Her owners were OBVIOUSLY BYB, as they had all the pups on a table, they were dirty, had no food/water, and the people had Snow Dogs and 8 Below set up at the table. Also, they had the pictures of the parents so people thought they were buying a high quality dog. The one we got was lethargic, had runny eyes, and barely moved. I couldn't put her down, so we went ahead and took her. A few hours later with some shade and some water, she perked right up and has been happy happy ever since.

Back to the Aussie. Hubby never really liked him from the beginning. Mostly just personality. I didn't do a good job of working with him and training him because I was lazy (absolutely NO excuse at all). Lately, I've really stepped up the training, and worked with Ty. He is WONDERFUL on leash. Very obedient, very good. As soon as that leash comes off, he stops listening. He doesn't run off, but he does run around, tries to herd the old man, and generally acts as though he doesn't hear us. I love him tons, but sometimes I don't like him either. His personality is just sort of ADD in general, which I know is not suprising given his breed. He's only my 2nd dog ever, he's not very old, and he would be a FABULOUS partner for someone that wanted a companion dog. He LOVES to play, and honestly, if he was the only dog, he'd be fine. It's the way he behaves around our old man (who is definitely our BABY) that really puts hubby over the edge, and he's grown to hate Ty even though I've put more work into him. I've come to the realization that we are not a perfect fit for Ty, and would like to find a family that IS a perfect fit.

How does that make me irresponsible? I want what's best for my dog, but I'm not about to end up in a divorce because hubby hates him so much. My human family comes first, and hubby just. doesn't. like. Ty. The puppy has nothing to do with it. I know how difficult the Huskies are to train, and I'm fully prepared for it. I haven't been lazy with her like I was with Ty, I guess because she's my dream dog. I've wanted one for so long, I find myself sitting around with the clicker watitng for her to wake up so I can do some clicker training with her. Isn't it a good thing to want to find someone that will do that with Ty? He sticks to me all the time, but I just don't feel as bonded to him as I do with the old man and the pup. I'm not going to dump him anywhere, I'm going to find him a good loving home; is that so wrong?

mudpuppy

Posted : 3/14/2007 1:18:15 PM

IMHO, there are two acceptable reasons to re-home a dog: 1) you can't meet that dog's needs, physical and mental, no matter how hard you try; or 2) there is serious ongoing conflict between two members in the household.

jenhuedepohl

Posted : 3/14/2007 1:18:51 PM

I think you are the only one who can decide that. We all see SO many people that just dump a dog without even trying that we forget that sometimes there comes a time when the dog just doesn't "fit". I personally wouldn't fault you. You are doing what is best for your family and doing everything you can to make sure Ty gets his needs met in the process. I know people love to toss around the phrase "dogs are not disposable" but you are not throwing him away. You're giving him a forever home just like good foster would.

Good luck to you AND Ty!

Benedict

Posted : 3/14/2007 1:19:17 PM

IMHO Yes, that is terrible.

I don't think it's terrible to buy or adopt a dog, try hard to make it work and then realise it's simply not a good fit. Sad as it is, that happens.

However, you brought ANOTHER dog into your family. In my view, bringing in a 2nd/3rd/4th dog into a household means you have already accepted and enjoy the family dynamic with the dogs you already had. If you were unhappy with your Aussie, you should have dealt with that before getting another dog. I realise that the husky was an "impulse buy" but you'd already had 9 months with your Aussie to get comfortable, or realise that he wasn't for you.

You had no business getting a 3rd dog if you weren't prepared to look after the second one. That's my opinion.

Kate

Jen B

Posted : 3/14/2007 1:39:09 PM

But Benedict, we had ALREADY decided to find a new home for Ty. Trust me, I would have waited on the Husky until after finding Ty a good home. When we stumbled across the pup, I really felt like I had to take her, and that's after 7 years of looking. It just seems like I'm a cold hearted beech who wants to trade in the adolescent for the pup, but it's not like that. Even after the training I've put into Ty in the last 2 months, hubby still isn't happy with him. So, I'd resigned myself to the fact that we were going to be a one dog family again. Oops, guess not!

lisa baker

Posted : 3/14/2007 1:42:31 PM

Sometimes there are huge personality clashes. Heck it happens in humans all the time and no one makes them stay together. If there are people I am not that found of I tend to keep my distance from them. My grandmother passed away just over three years ago....she had 6 dogs. None of which I could stand...I didn't even like to visit her because of those dogs...

That being said I would rather see a dog re-homed into a loving caring family than to be in one where it is being fed and vetted but merely tolerated as a family member.

Good luck to you with your decision and only you and your husband can decide what is best for everyone involved.

Edited to add that I read your response about the puppy vs an older pup or dog. I wonder if I am the only one who has never been taken in by a puppy.... I much prefer a dog any day to going through the dreadful puppy stage [

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badrap

Posted : 3/14/2007 1:43:34 PM

respectfully, i'm not nuts about your reasons, but if you are committed to keeping the dog in YOUR HOME until you find a new place for it, i guess i can't complain. and i certainly applaud your honesty, but i'm sure you're going to draw a lot of ire around here.

having said that, the "perfect fit" is surely elusive. also, it seems like you sort of set this dog up to fail, if you admit outright to being lazy about training him. as someone pointed out to me in the "behavior" part of this forum, that behavior you describe as herding is really just "pain in the butt" behavior that CAN be managed.

i just can't relate to wanting to re-home one of my permanent residents, and i think that's where you went wrong. it's one thing to accept foster dogs into your home with the intention of re-homing them from the beginning, but IMO completely different to give up a permanent pack member.

but as long as you're absolutely committed to re-homing the dog yourself and don't plan to surrender him to a shelter, i can't fault you. i just don't understand it myself. i would really try to work on his behavior issues HARD before you try to find him a new home, because if he has "issues", you run the risk of him "not working out" somewhere else, too. you adopted this dog, you have a responsibility to him to make sure he's in a good way.

Xerxes

Posted : 3/14/2007 1:47:46 PM

I will be honest I've considered re-homing Gaia. I considered it from my point of view: I would get my relationship back with Xerxes the way it was before, I wouldn't have to keep the dogs baby-gated away from the cat all day long. I wouldn't have to deal with leash reactivity, dog aggression or constant squabbles over chewies. There have been times when I have loved her but not liked her one bit.

Then I thought about it from her perspective: If she was re-homed it would be the 5th place she's been in less than a year's time (Original owner, shelter, foster care, my place, new home.) She is just now starting to play and be happy, get into a schedule, and really express her silly personality. That would be gone and I wouldn't have my snuggle bunny at the end of the day.

So all things considered, I made a lifetime commitment to this girl-whichever ends first hers or mine. She's coming around and trusting me more, improving in all facets of life one tiny little step at a time. It's my responsibility to ensure that the life I give her meets and or exceeds all her needs. In short, I couldn't live without her in my family. It would be a quieter existence, calmer, possibly alot more dog friendly life as well. But rehoming her is not an option, not an option at all.

jeano

Posted : 3/14/2007 1:52:10 PM

I think you are on track as your family won't truly love this dog. Whether you should have gotten him in the first place is water under the bridge and it's stupid to discuss it!

See if there is a good rescue that can help you find him a home. Looking at him, I was tempted to say that if you put him on a plane to Fairbanks I'd take him. I think Sofia would like him a lot! If you want to pay for the airfare..... but only if he's heartworm negative and has been getting the heartworm preventative, and has his shots. [

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Here is the australian shepherd rescue in Georgia:http://www.aussierescuega.com/

I hope you find a stellar home for him!

anne

Posted : 3/14/2007 3:41:53 PM

Do I accept your excuse to rehome? Nope. But it's your decision.

I am a little upset that you admit to being lazy in training the Aussie. So now, you have a Husky, I wonder how training will go with that puppy. I wonder if your husband will not like this new dog and you will be on here in a couple months asking if you are bad for wanting to rehome the Husky. From what I understand, Huskies are a lot harder to train than Aussies.

My boyfriend doesnt like my GSD mix Nico but I dont care. He is my dog and I wouldnt give him up no matter what big fit he threw.

I also have a Dalmatian who NEVER listens to me on leash or off. I work with him and yes, he wont ever be the most obedient best behaved dog but he is MINE and I committed to him when I got him.

Yes I think you are irresponsible.

I also factor into my last sentance the fact that you bought from someone you knew is a BYB.

You can think I am mean but my "hobby"-AKA what I do with every second of spare time I have-is cleaning other people's messes up and it gets frustrating. I have very rarely heard someone give a good excuse for rehoming an animal and yours is no exception. You want to rehome your dog because you didnt train it. Very poor excuse.

But as I said, it is your decision.

Personally I would take Jean up on her offer & pay for the flight out to Alaska.

mrv

Posted : 3/14/2007 3:59:23 PM

Finding a home that will meet his needs and offer more than you can is not a sin. I think you will find a fair number of folks say keep the dog no matter what. Some times, for whatever reason, a change does a dog good. Two top ranked rescue malinois (agility) come to my mind (one who spent some time in my home during her travels to a forever home).

If you cant give the dog what is needed and it is causing family duress, sure consider rehoming. Do it responsibly, through rescue would be my suggestion. You might even be able to work out a deal to keep the dog with you until potential homes are identified so the dog does not need to go into a foster home as well. That may provide some peace if an end is in sight.

Ruth

Posted : 3/14/2007 4:35:51 PM

Your decision is not my style. I am more of a lifetime commitment kind of girl, and I am pretty sure I would keep working with my family and the dog. But the issue isn't you, it's what's best FOR THE DOG. If you can find a forever home for the dog that you truly believe will be permanent and happier and healthier for the dog, even taking into account the difficulty of the transition, then the dog will be happier, and that is the most important thing. I do think though that you should commit to taking the dog back in case the new home does not work out -- if there is no fabulous new home, then in my view you do have a responsibility to do whatever you can to keep the dog safe and out of a shelter.

Do you have kids, though? If so I kind of worry about the message you might be sending them. What if they think you might send them away too if their dad is mad at them?

k.m.a

Posted : 3/14/2007 4:57:07 PM

ORIGINAL: mmthomason

Do I accept your excuse to rehome? Nope. But it's your decision.

I am a little upset that you admit to being lazy in training the Aussie. So now, you have a Husky, I wonder how training will go with that puppy. I wonder if your husband will not like this new dog and you will be on here in a couple months asking if you are bad for wanting to rehome the Husky. From what I understand, Huskies are a lot harder to train than Aussies.

My boyfriend doesnt like my GSD mix Nico but I dont care. He is my dog and I wouldnt give him up no matter what big fit he threw.

I also have a Dalmatian who NEVER listens to me on leash or off. I work with him and yes, he wont ever be the most obedient best behaved dog but he is MINE and I committed to him when I got him.

Yes I think you are irresponsible.

I also factor into my last sentance the fact that you bought from someone you knew is a BYB.

You can think I am mean but my "hobby"-AKA what I do with every second of spare time I have-is cleaning other people's messes up and it gets frustrating. I have very rarely heard someone give a good excuse for rehoming an animal and yours is no exception. You want to rehome your dog because you didnt train it. Very poor excuse.

But as I said, it is your decision.

Personally I would take Jean up on her offer & pay for the flight out to Alaska.

Agreed!

It is irresponsible. No matter how good of a home or intentions you may have. While that is fabulous, don't get me wrong.

ruby007

Posted : 3/14/2007 5:38:09 PM

A dog is not disposable! But I hope your dog finds a "good" home one in which the owners truly love him. I work for a rescue and one of the questions that perspective adoptees are asked...."have you ever rehomed a dog or pup?" I just dont think out of all the answers "my husband didnt like him" would ever get you a dog from our rescue. What if this new dog does not turn out the way you had hoped will you rehome him or her too? Do you have a history of taking dogs and then not really wanting them? As I stated, I cannot condone you doing this but I am sure the dog will be better off. Please look for an Aussie rescue and make better choices next time.......................

stormyknight

Posted : 3/14/2007 6:07:25 PM

There are quite a few things in your original post that concern me a great deal. I've pulled them out:

ORIGINAL: TimTy

We rescued him 9 months ago, because we were ready for a 2nd dog, and this guy was in need. We wanted a Husky back then, but never ran across one that was suitable (rescue).

Back to the Aussie. Hubby never really liked him from the beginning. Mostly just personality. I didn't do a good job of working with him and training him because I was lazy (absolutely NO excuse at all). Lately, I've really stepped up the training, and worked with Ty.

I've come to the realization that we are not a perfect fit for Ty, and would like to find a family that IS a perfect fit.

The puppy has nothing to do with it. I know how difficult the Huskies are to train, and I'm fully prepared for it. I haven't been lazy with her like I was with Ty, I guess because she's my dream dog.

Isn't it a good thing to want to find someone that will do that with Ty? He sticks to me all the time, but I just don't feel as bonded to him as I do with the old man and the pup.

I'm not going to sugar coat my opinion in the least.

So rather than wait for the right 2nd dog, you settled on an Aussie because he was there and "in need", even though your husband never liked his personality. You admit to being lazy training a dog that, by nature, needs alot of interaction and stimulation in order to thrive. Of course, since he didn't get the training that he needs, he has not turned out to be a standout canine citizen. Now that your "dream dog" has shown up, even though you state that the pup has nothing to do with it, this Aussie is going to get the boot. IMO, you should have never taken on the Aussie if you were not 110% committed to making it work. We had someone come relinquish their six month old lab puppy to our shelter recently because they got their dream pommeranian and the lab was too much to deal with. Was I disgusted? Yes. As someone else said, dogs are not disposable. I have tough days with my guys, but they are mine for life, come hell or high water.

Is it irresponsible to find him a new home? No, because you are not doing him any favors by keeping him. You obviously do not want to keep him and he is not getting the attention that he deserves. And be careful where you place him...as you now know, not every home is well suited to an Aussie. I would go with the rescue route, but good luck with Aussie rescue...we have two purebreds in our shelter that are waiting to get into rescue but can't because they are full.