Dog Community

It Takes a Lot to Pi** Me Off (vent)...

Posted : 12/3/2007 8:41:06 AM

..but my sister has got me really upset!

My sister is 5 yrs my junior and to be honest we were never all that close growing up. She was the baby and very attached to my Mom, so we never really hung out much together. At 17 she hooked up with this older guy in his forties and for what ever reason they did not socialize with the family as a couple. Occasionally she would show up for Christmas or Birthdays by herself, but mostly she was MIA. We built a new house in 1994. She visited shortly after we moved in and that was the last time she darkened my doorstep! Her SO developed heart disease and the 2 of them gradually isolated themselves. They hated being away from the house. She never had children and her dogs were her babies. We all kind of excused her behaviour and put most of the blame on the SO. Last January her SO passed away. She met this other guy (10 yrs younger) and we all noticed how she was becoming so much more social and would actually call and keep in touch. She was developing a new crowd of friends and seemed really happy.

Fast forward to 3 weeks ago. I got this phone around 9am. She was in the city to see a client who had postponed their meeting and she was going to drop by. I was shocked! It had been over 10 years. I thought it was really nice and I was pleased that she was finally making an effort to reconnect with us. Then last week she calls again. She and her new fellow were doing a landscaping job about 15 minutes from my home and she wanted to stay over for 1 or 2 nights to save them the hour and a half drive each day. I said 'sure!' and told her to bring the dogs if she wanted so she wouldn't have to worry about them. She thought that was a great idea and so she showed up Monday morning with the dogs. I enjoyed having them here and Kobi did really well having the 'girls' in his house. Well the job took longer than planned. They basically worked from 7am until 10pm each day so I looked after the dogs basically 24/7 for 4 days. As much as I enjoyed it, I was getting a bit tired by the end.

Saturday evening around 7, they showed up back at the house. The job was finished and they were heading home. They sat and watched a bit of the hockey game, had a beer then started packing up. She packed the truck and loaded up the dogs. I was expecting her to come back and say goodbye. But NO! They got in their truck and drove off without a goodbye, thank you or anything. As always I tried to excuse her. She was tired and was anxious to get home. Maybe she would call. Sure enough last night she did call. She had forgot her cell phone charger. Could I mail it to her? That was it!

I'm so pi**ed! There are a lot of things I don't like about my sister (you wouldn't believe!) but she is my sister and I have always kept in touch, supported her and never had any confrontations or disagreements with her. She is my sister and I love her. I know I will be over this in a few days but right now I have to hold myself back from giving her a piece of my mind. I just hate users.

OK, I feel better now!

sl2crmeg

Posted : 12/3/2007 9:44:44 AM

HOLY MOLEY!! That's so rude!

MissMandy

Posted : 12/3/2007 10:08:56 AM

Wow....sorry to hear that you got stuck in that situation. I can completely understand why you would be feeling used. I would be too. I hope you're able to discuss your feelings with her after you've had some time to cool off. She should know how that made you feel.

rwbeagles

Posted : 12/3/2007 10:58:18 AM

denise m
But NO! They got in their truck and drove off without a goodbye, thank you or anything.

Wow....that's plenty rude! Vent on sister!

DumDog

Posted : 12/3/2007 1:38:40 PM

hehe i woulda shouted "YUR WELCOME!!" as they were driving off... and would wait a few weeks to mail that phone back.. but i tend to be spiteful at times over that sorta thing.

its easy to get on the "one track mind" trail.... but seems more people are doing it than ever before.. even in the south where everyone is supposedly oh-so-polite.... bah! they're more charming if you're paying for that charm lol

i just hope i can my boys to be more appreciative and polite towards others no matter what.

one thing though. i know some people that stay gone for YEARS, then show up and act like it was only yesterday that you last spoke. there is no excited hugging greeting.. i'm sorta like that myself.. i dont like making a big fuss over anything.. maybe she has turned into that sort of personality.. doesnt think she has to thank her SISTER for being there.. because sisters are SUPPOSED to always help out. thats what family does.....

i know i know.. i shouldnt make excuses for her either lol i wouldnt tolerate that from my own sisters or brother.. and they've done similar things in the past.. its just one of those things that puts a rift in the relationship and makes ME want to stay away from them.. were it not for my husband i would probably never keep in touch with my family because of past hurts.

chelsea_b

Posted : 12/3/2007 2:19:55 PM

Wow...do you ever wonder how on Earth you came from the same parents? My sisters wouldn't pull that, but sometimes they just floor me and it makes me think "HOW do we have the same mother????" Sounds like something a few of my cousins would do though..sigh. People can be so inconsiderate. I'd smack her upside the head. Big Smile

denise m

Posted : 12/3/2007 2:20:13 PM

DumDog, your post was funny and made me feel a lot better LOL!

DumDog
were it not for my husband i would probably never keep in touch with my family because of past hurts.

My DH has not spoken to his ONLY sister in over 15 years. She borrowed some money from him after her husband died to start a small business. It was not the money so much as the fact that she never mentioned it again. If she had offered to pay it back I know DH would have said 'forget it', but now it's all about the principle. DH is bad for holding grudges. I have her and her 2 adult children on my son's wedding list. It will be interesting to she if they come!

As for my sister, she is just self absorbed. I often wonder if hooking up with her SO at such a young age warped her view of the world. Maybe she just took on his very cynical nature instead of developing her own. Anyways, thanks everyone for chiming in and it looks like the phone charger isn't hitting the mailbox today. Me bad!

fuzzy_dogs_mom

Posted : 12/3/2007 3:17:25 PM

rwbeagles

Wow....that's plenty rude! Vent on sister!

I agree! I can't imagine not thanking someone who put me, the SO and my dogs up for that long - not to mention "doggy sitting" all day while we were gone. In fact, I would have gotten you a nice gift.

Joyce

Janet808

Posted : 12/3/2007 8:56:19 PM

That's family for ya! I could write a "long" story about my SIL that would make you're eyes roll back in your head and stay there! I figured she didn't come around when her SO was older because, she didn't want to hear anything from family. Or maybe her SO, wasn't comfortable, but that wasn't right she couldn't say "thanks". You should have said that to her...Oh, is that the only reason you called? I thought maybe you we're calling because you didn't bother to say "Goodbye" when you left the other night." Put her on the spot! Shoot, that's what families are for...you should be able to be 'frank' w/out reprecussions, not that it won't happen, but com' on! Obviously, she's still the baby, and just assumes people will do for her, and that's it! Next time, speak up! I know my older sister wouldn't hesitate! What do you care anyway, you're family, you'll still be together FOREVER, and maybe she just needs to be told. You can do it in a way that's not nasty sounding, but in a way to show you were hurt by her actions. I do this to my daughter all the time in the AF. She doesn't call unless she's having problems, and it's like why can't you call just to chat and let me know how you're doing and how my Granddaughter is doing!!!

lorib

Posted : 12/4/2007 12:22:33 AM

Rude, rude, rude!!!!

DumDog

Posted : 12/4/2007 1:24:48 AM

Janet808
I figured she didn't come around when her SO was older because, she didn't want to hear anything from family. Or maybe her SO, wasn't comfortable, but that wasn't right she couldn't say "thanks".

my thoughts too, but sheesh! my husband is also a lot older than i am and that doesnt keep us from visiting family on both sides! its funny that we both encourage each other to keep in touch with family.... we give each other the pep talks and speach "You've only got one Mom/Dad/Brother/Sister etc" but both of us would rather go to the dentist for a route canal than have to face our own family at times!!

i'm sure its weird when your sibling marries someone with an age gap.. i've heard ALL of the sayings that go along with it.. midlife crisis, gold digger, father figure, etc... but again... it didnt stop us!! i think half the family was pleasantly surprised that i actually ended up with a MAN instead of a woman or something lol they didnt care how old he was!

anyway.. surely no one likes being judged.. but you cant just hide out of FEAR of being judged...... whats the point then? they claim to love their SO and yet they are ASHAMED of them?

i'm assuming a lot, but wouldnt it be great to actually get inside their heads and REALLY understand why they act like punks?

Janet808

Posted : 12/4/2007 12:39:57 PM

DumDog
i've heard ALL of the sayings that go along with it.. midlife crisis, gold digger, father figure, etc... but again... it didnt stop us!!

I hear ya on this one! We had a blow out w/ my SIL last October (I think it was) she always jumps all over my oldest sister, well, she made a comment, and (I had a couple of beers in me) at first, I didn't say anything, but then her tone, got so ignorant and the look on her face, if looks could kill, my sister would have been dead...well, that was IT, I jumped in w/ my two cents worth...pissed off my brother, but frankly I don't care, it had to be said. So, then months went by, it was this past June, and my niece had a baptism (for my GodSon!!) and I was polite. I actually spoke to her, until her son threatened to hit my daughter in the mouth w/ a wiffle bat (she had just had 2 front teeth knocked out, in May, by a metal bat) and she's been so protective and fearful, she came running up crying and screaming telling us what her little cousin said. Someone said, what happened? My SIL repeated, and then had to add, "at least that's what she says". I jumped up (because I remember that nightmare of a day like it was yesterday, it still wakes me up at night!) and jumped all over her, how MY DAUGHTER WOULDN'T LIE ABOUT SOMETHING LIKE THAT!!! Since then, I keep Emily home w/ hubby so she doesn't have to deal w/ them. I only go, since it's for my side of the family, to make an appearance, but I would rather have my teeth knocked out then have to deal w/ my brother and his wife!

DumDog
but both of us would rather go to the dentist for a route canal than have to face our own family at times!!

On a lighter note, you forgot one...Sugar Daddy! Yea, that's my fav! I want one! LOL I don't even think my husband would mind, as long as it benefited both of us! LOL

Janet808

Posted : 12/4/2007 12:41:53 PM

Ooops! I put the quotes in backwards, but you got the jest of it!

Cita

Posted : 12/4/2007 1:43:15 PM

Janet808
You should have said that to her...Oh, is that the only reason you called? I thought maybe you we're calling because you didn't bother to say "Goodbye" when you left the other night." Put her on the spot!

Good idea! I don't blame you at all for being peeved. You were totally taken advantage of, but I wouldn't be at all surprised if she didn't even realize that she was taking advantage of you! If I were you, I wouldn't hesitate to put a blunt note in with that charger, something along the lines of, "It really hurt me that after all I did for you while you were here you didn't even say goodbye, or offer a 'thank you.' If you want to come back and stay with me, you'll need to be more considerate the next time."