Who gave you "the talk" and how old were you??

 I was maybe 5 or 6, and it was my mom. She'd just had a baby, and I was very curious, and kept pressing with questions. It was very, very basic. She's always been very open to questions and the like.

I remember my Dad giving me just the facts on the physical aspects of how you get pregnant and the only way to avoid pregnancy was to NEVER, EVER have sex.  No other options were EVER discussed.  I would never dream of discussing having sex and needing birth control with my parents

That's pretty much exactly what happened with me. I don't even remember how old I was. My mom just sat me down with a book and told me how babies were made. That was it. No other talk about it ever. After a near miss when I was 16, I just confronted my mom and said I want to go on BC. I approached it in a manner that said "this isn't up for discussion" I could see that my mom hesitated and wanted to tell me no but she wisely figured that I would get it no matter what so she might as well take me herself. The funny thing is she didn't even take that opportunity to talk about sex! Sheesh.

Now, at least I know what NOT to do with kids, should I ever have them. It's very wrong to be be naive enough to think that your kids would never do such a thing. I think that the more talk and openess the better, whether you like it or not. Peer pressure exists, accidents happen. It's better to prevent an accident than to ignore the possibility that it could.

I don't remember how old I was, but it was before my mom or school had talked about menstruation.  I remember watching TV with my father, and an ad for iron pills came on.  The ad was obviously geared towards women.  I asked my dad, why women need to take iron pills, I was an inqusitive kid.  He told me that women take iron pills because some women need to supplement with iron because of heavy blood loss ( my dads a doctor, and not the best communicator )  

.....So of course I pressed, and asked why, I thought he would say like if they had a cut or scrape.... but no, he tells me that since women loose blood once a month through menstruation they may need additional iron.  I think when I asked my next question was when my dad finally figured out I had NO CLUE as to what he was talking about.  I asked him, why do they loose blood, and he quickly got nervous and said women get their periods once a month and bleed! and then he quickly changed the subject!  I was mortifyed!  Having the vivid imagination that I did, I pictured my mom once a month going into the bathroom, shedding her skin and bleeding!

The next day mom came to the rescue (I'm sure he told my mom what he told me) and corrected my dads, umm HORROR story, and filled me in on menstruation.  I was very relieved

I posted on the other thread about this. I never did get "the talk".  My dad had always been the traditional (for that time) kind of dad. He worked hard running a business and left the parenting to my mom. When she died, there was very little communication about anything at all, let alone sex. I don't even remember talking about it with friends but I was a voracious reader, so I probably learned mostly from reading.

Oh Lord!  Catholic school here, too.  I got the "talk" from my Irish grandmother, who seems to have left out a few important details.  She waited until I had my first period (around 10-1/2) and then she said "You'll have to be very careful around men now, because you could have a baby any day." That's ALL she said.  No other explanation given - nothing about how this would actually come about. I spent a few very hairy months worrying about who I sat next to on the  bus and whether I'd get up in the morning and find a baby in my book bag. My younger sister got her talk from our mom who just tossed a book about menstruation at her and said "Here.  Read this.  And if it ever doesn't happen, you had better, by God, tell me." My sister, who hadn't started yet, said "Um.  Would this be a good time to tell you it isn't happening?" Despite this, we grew normal.

Joyce

I didn't get it either. I started my period at 11 and thought I was going to die. We didn't learn about that in school till 6th grade (12 years old). I learned from experience.

In contrast, my sister's boy knew about sex since the time he was old enough to ask, "What's that, mommy"? I always thought I'd do exactly what my sister did if I ever had kids. Her son grew up to be a very responsible, balanced kid who never had a "teenage rebellion" stage, interestingly.  

fuzzy_dogs_mom

You'll have to be very careful around men now, because you could have a baby any day." That's ALL she said.  No other explanation given - nothing about how this would actually come about. I spent a few very hairy months worrying about who I sat next to on the  bus and whether I'd get up in the morning and find a baby in my book bag.

Ha ha ha ---- baby in the bookbag !!! LMAO

Deb W

Yeah, I got a few awkward school-sponsored educational speech sorts of things that my mother dragged me to (starting around 5th grade), and then she gave me a whole bunch of books to read. (Who gives a 10 year old a copy of "Our Bodies, Ourselves"? that thing is bigger than my room, lol)

If I ever have kids I hope to be a lot more open and better about communicating, but it worked out okay. At least I got accurate facts.

Cita

If I ever have kids I hope to be a lot more open and better about communicating, but it worked out okay. At least I got accurate facts.

I took my daughter to see the Titanic when she was around 6 or 7 and there's that one scene where Kate and Leo are having sex in the car in the baggage hold.  So my daughter says really loudly "Mom, what are they doing in that car"?  Not really wanting to go into the facts of life in the middle of theater in the middle of Titanic - I tell her they're sharing a cheeseburger.  So the next time she can't sleep or something, she walks into the living room while my husband had the Sopranos on and there was this really racy scene on the tv and she goes --"People really like cheeseburgers, don't they Mommy"!!!!

That's when I started bombarding her with the sex talks!!

edited to add: accurate sex talks!!!

Deb W. 

I have three older sisters, so I think by the time I came around, my Mom forgot some pretty important aspects of parenting. I only remember ever having one conversation about sex with her.. I was probably 7, and asked what "69" meant. I got a very blunt response, and learned my lesson well. You'd think with three older sisters I'd have asked them things, but no.. so I got pretty much everything from overhearing conversations between other people, reading, and TV. Fabulous, right?

I figured out sex in third grade (I was 8 years old).  We were doing a unit on human anatomy and there was this picture book that had a page on sex.  I think it showed a red train car and a blue train car and when they bumped into each other, they fit, and there was a heart above them.  I think I turned red during class!  I was on to it before that (I knew sex was a big deal and some big secret thing), but THATS how I learned what explicitly was going on!  In fifth grade (I was 10), we started the school association's sex ed program.  My mom came into my room and asked if I had any questions.  Honestly I don't even remember it.  During school, the girls had gone with a girl teacher and asked her questions for 3 hours, so I didn't really have much to talk about with my mom.  I got my period a few months before I turned 12 and I already knew what to do, my mom and dad knew.  I felt it was a jinx b/c just the day before my mom had told me how lucky she was that she didn't start until she was 16...and then the next day I get mine at 11!  I didn't really have to talk about it b/c some of my friends already had theirs and told me all about it.  I never had problems tell my mom I needed her to buy more tampons or I needed her to get a new bottle of naproxin for my headaches.  When I wanted birth control (b/c I was going to Africa for a long time and didn't want to have periods) I told her b/c I was still on my parent's insurance.  Once I was on my own insurance (age 19), I made my own appointments and took care of my own prescriptions and pap tests.

My parents never lectured (or even brought up) STDs or pregnancy, but they knew me well enough to know that it wasn't an issue.  I know they did bring up these things with my brother b/c he was more wild and always had girlfriends.  A few years ago, my mom talked to him about pregnancy b/c he was 19 and his current GF was 17 I think and my mom was concerned that she would get pregnant and her parents would cry statutory rape.  My mom was pretty cool.  She said "I mean, I don't really even care if she gets pregnant, that's not the end of the world, but I don't want your brother in jail b/c he's not using common sense..." I didn't have time for boys during HS so it never came up.

 Never?  Oh wait, freshman year of COLLEGE after my dad found out that I did not spend the previous night at my friend's house like I said, he told me, "if you ever come home pregnant, I don't think your mother will let you in the house".  When I got back to college, I went on BC.

I wasn't allowed to date or kiss boys until I turned 15 though.  My parents were always good about making sure I was where I said I was until about the age of 17 when I began driving myself around.

I've got a strange combo of parents and I think if I had been born a boy I would have gotten a frank, accurate sex talk at a pretty early age. My dad is very open and honest about sex and sexuality. Both my parents are atheists and my dad's feeling is that sex is great and not at all dirty or wrong. My mom....well, despite also not being religious, she's kind of a prude. My parents got married very young but my dad was older and had also been living on his own for a number of years at that point (he started living by himself in high school) but my mom was 19, still living at home, went straight from her parents' house to get married and move in with my dad. Wow. 1960's y'all. My mom has never smoked a cigarette, done an illicit drug and did not drink while underage, ever. But because I'm a girl, it fell to her to handle the sexuality discussions and that was definitely a problem for her. I got a booklet on getting your period and the basics of sex and sexuality in middle school and I think it was before (but not much before) I got my first period when I was 12.

I went to Catholic high school but we did have sex ed at some point (maybe my sophomore year?) and learned about the more technical aspects of sex and reproduction (and yes, even birth control, though that part was kind of hushed and we weren't supposed to tell anyone we learned about it) and somewhere along that way I pretty much figured it all out somehow.  I also got a dynamite lesson on what can happen since when you go to Catholic school, well, getting knocked up is frowned upon but getting an abortion is REALLY frowned upon so there were actually quite a few teen mothers among my classmates. I not only learned about the actual physical consequences, but I also witnessed every single one of these teen fathers turn tail and run and completely abandon their responsibilities, often with the enabling of their own parents who insisted despite all evidence to the contrary (and on at least on occasion it was DNA evidence) their precious young men could NEVER get a girl pregnant, the girls must be sluts. Yeah, thanks but no thanks on the teen sexuality tip--which line do I get in to to avoid that whole scene completely?

 My parents kept trying to get me on birth control though, all through high school. I kept insisting that I was no where near the zip code of sexual activity with anyone, and they kept assuming I was trying to hide something! You'd have thought that the fact that I did not have any boyfriends in high school (well, I had one, but it was long distance so we were rarely in the same area code) would have clued them in. But I think they, or at least my dad, thought that I was just sewing those wild oats amongst my male friends. I only wish my life at that time was that exciting.

When it actually for real came time though, after my freshman year at college, I got on the pill with my mom's help to make the doctor's appointment. No judgments, they were just happy that I was being safe and also that I was finally having sex (though maybe not so much with the guy I was having sex with, but they were both big enough people to keep their mouths shut about that).
 

no big complicated talks for me... i grew up on a farm and watched discovery channel. i wasnt sure about the inner workings of the whole thing, but i always knew where babies came from and how they got there.

now the funny thing was.... my mom only half heartedly explained the erm... process of the male "fertilizing" the female... so for a couple of years i was walking around thinking a guy's gonads worked like salt and pepper shakers....

but i was only 7 years old for crying out loud!