I know *exactly* how you feel. I had Pepito and Axl for several years before I got Butter and Ogre, and I have always been able to trust them to return to me immediately whenever I call. Taking them to potty is no big deal- just open the door, say "Don't leave the yard," and that's it. They're back in 90 seconds begging to be let in. I could go on leashless walks with them, let them outside with me without the least bit of trouble...I was very, very spoiled with them.
Then, along come Ogre and Butter- and everything had to change. Ogre doesn't rush the door, but if he thinks he can make it and you're not paying close enough attention, he's gone. When I take him outside, he minds me perfectly as long as he knows he's on leash- once or twice I've accidentally dropped the leash for a second and he was gone without a second's hesitation. The only way to catch him was to wait until he stopped to sniff something and then literally tackle him.
It takes ALOT of getting used to, when you've had dogs who weren't runners. Having to watch the doors when you open them, always having to worry about whether they've managed to open a door or not, having to sneak out with the door barely cracked so they can't rush between your feet...and then ALWAYS having to have them on lead...widnight potty breaks in 30 degree weather are difficult to get used to, when you're used to just opening the door and letting the dogs outside. For me, it ewas really frustrating and the first few weeks of getting used to it were NOT fun. Then I got the heck over it and tried to figure out how I could make it easier on myself. [8D]
Yes, you *can* teach a dog not to run out the door. For me, I simply did alot of body blocking. I would open the door, and Ogre would try to shoulder his way out, and I would just block him. When he moved, I moved. After anywhere from 10 seconds to a full minute of this, he would always give up, and then sit or lie down and sigh heavily. The second his butt hit the ground, I shoved a treat in his mouth and showered him with the happist goofiest praises I could muster. It took about a month to get him to stop completely, but eventually, he learned that he was NOT going to make it out the door, not gonna happen, and in fact, if he sat, instead of trying to get outside, he actually got a treat! So for him, that's worked. I'm still careful, because he does have his moments, but at least he no longer tries to shoulder me out of the way. I've tested it, and 9 times out of 10, he no longer tries to escape even if I hold the door open for him.
Butter was a bit different. He was small enough that ho could sometimes evade me when I tried to block him. I was getting pretty frustrated because he could still manage to get past me, and he was still getting out. His recall is good outside, but I still didn't want him running out the door every time it was opened...especially since we live next to a really busy street. IMO, this could be a life or death situation, so I used slightly harsher methods than I would normally want to use with him.
I cracked the door a bit, ready for him to rush out. He did, and I was ready...before his feet completely cleared the doorway, I had him- I yelled "NO!!" as dramatically as I possibly could, and shoved him back in the house. He hates to be yelled at, and he was very, very surprised that I had managed to grab him, and he didn't try to rush the door for another day or two. That time, I was ready again, and I managed to grab his scruff- and again, I jerked him back in the house very dramatically, yelled "NO!" and that sufficiently hurt his feelings that he didn't try again.
Whenever he sits nicely at the door, instead of trying to rush out, he gets a treat and a ton of praise. So he's learning- running gets him yelled at, sitting gets him treats. He still needs to work on it, but he's improving drastically.
Tie-outs have been an absolute lifesaver for me. I hate, hate,HATE taking the dogs out to potty. I don't know why, but there aren't many things I would rather do less. Since Butter is house training and needs lots of praise when he pottys outside, I take him out on lead...but Ogre goes out on a tie-out. It also gives him the opportunity to go out and enjoy the yard with the other dogs, without having to be on a 6 foot leash at all times. I don't know if that's even an issue for you, but it's helped me alot.
One thing that I have learned that has helped me immensely- when they do escape, and you finally catch them, DO NOT bring them back inside immediately. It's so difficult not to yell at them, since you're so worried and upset...but the truth is, the reason they rush the door, run off, and don't listen when told to come back is because they don't want anyone to ruin their fun! So, whenever I catch them, I don't make a big deal out of it. If they actually let me catch them, I praise them and give them treats. If they run from me and I then have to catch them by chance, they get no praise and no treats. BUT, regardless of how I catch them, I calmly slip a leash on them and take them for a walk, or play with them in the yard for a while. Doing that has cut down SO much on the number of times they ignore me- now, more often than not, they'll come back when I call or let me catch them soon after, because they know I won't immediately ruin their fun and make them go inside.
I know how much it hurts your feelings that they run away like this. The truth is, they don't do it because they don't love you...they just smell good, interesting things out in the world and want to experience them. They absolutely do NOT do it because they don't appreciate or love you....they're just being dogs, they just want to have fun, and they don't want anyone to catch them and ruin it.
Ogre was picked up as a stray, and I often wonder whether he came from a good family who loved and searched for him. I don't think he did, for many reasons, but I still wonder. I know it's hard not to be hurt when they run off like that, but remember...they're dogs, they love you, and they just want to have fun. When they take off out the door, their only thought is "HEY! This smells interesting!!!" and when you call them, all they think is "Uh oh...not ready to go back inside yet...RUN!!"
Your dog absolutely loves you, regardless as to whether she runs off or not. Just try to keep that into perspective, and go from there. [

]