Dog Community

Big dilemma

Posted : 4/6/2006 1:57:32 PM

This is a problem my wife and I brought on ourselves by not doing enough research ahead of time. A friend of ours' dog had a litter of pups and so my wife and I volunteered to take one of the dogs. Well, long story short, I feel that we don't spend enough time with her (10 weeks old). She is comfortable enough now that she sleeps through the night without putting up a fuss. I get up in the morning, feed her, take her outside and play 15-25 minutes. Then off to work I go. My wife gets up an hour later, plays with her and takes her out before leaving for work. Then we put her in her crate with toys, a warm blanket, and music playing. I come home each day at lunch to let her out and play for 15 minutes. Then back into the crate Bella goes, and off to work I go until 4. I let Bella go outside to relieve herself and we play for 30 minutes to an hour. I generally will have to stay in the kitchen with her until after 5 when my wife arrives back home. Then we'll be with the dog for another hour or two before needing some time for ourselves to relax from work. Then at about 9ish, we take Bella back out, walk around, wait for her to relieve herself, and then put her to bed. Then the cycle starts over in the morning.

I feel like we don't give her the time and attention she needs. I'm torn because we've only had her a couple weeks, she trusts us, but I don't know if it's good for her in the long run that we keep her. Our fenced in backyard does share with neighbors who have a total of 3 dogs. Is it enough interaction and play that she and the other dogs run along the fenceline shadowing one another?

To me, I feel we're depriving her. I thought raising Bella wouldn't be this tough. The dog I had growing up was an outside dog that needed little playtime and was content with being out without a great deal of interaction. But Bella is much different, it seems.

Please post any ideas or advice.

This situation really has me depressed when it should be fun. I'm extremely anxious and stressed to the point that I've lost 8 pounds over the past two weeks since we took possession of little Bella.

amstaffy

Posted : 4/6/2006 2:04:44 PM

Hello and welcome to the forum!
You will get many replies here I'm sure but as you are crating Bella, you are teaching her that she must be clean in the house, which is a good thing and when you can't be with her she should be in a crate or x-pen for her safety as well as the safety of your home and belongings.
I think you and your wife are doing a great job by what you have posted so far, many people don't come home for lunch to take their dogs out so right there you are a head of the game.
I think you and your wife will see that it will get easier as the time goes by and Bella grows up from puppyhood, young adult to adult.

There are many experienced people here who can help you get through the puppy stages, you've taken the first step here [

]

rredbird

Posted : 4/6/2006 2:13:04 PM

Welcome and I second Jaime's post.

Puppyhood is not easy but is worth it! They require a lot of time and effort but sounds like you are doing fine - just being a normal 'parent' and second-guessing yourself!

When your pup is of age find a good training class - you will be amazed at how your relationship develops. Try this link for one near you [linkhttp://www.apdt.com]www.apdt.com[/link]

In 6 months things will be better - just hang in there!

loveukaykay

Posted : 4/6/2006 2:16:29 PM

Hi and Welcome!

What kind of dog is it?

I dont think what your doing sounds too bad. Puppies need more play time and interaction that an adult dog will, so if you make this work the best you can while shes a puppy I think you will be grateful you did when you have a more mellow and easy going adult dog.

I wouldnt be so stressed about it. I think the other dog interaction through the fence is okay for now... but you are home on the weekends right...? Maybe then you can take her to a dog park, or just spend some quality time with her at home during those off days.

Im sure more people will be here soon with more suggestions.

Maybe you can consider letting her sleep with you in bed at that way shes not in the crate all night and day. Or take her for a good walk when you get home from work.

ashland

Posted : 4/6/2006 2:17:48 PM

Man, I wish I had that kind of schedule. To me, it sounds like you guys are doing a great job. And maybe your other dog that you had that was an outside dog, just seemed as if he/she were content being outside because he/she was made an outside dog. The dogs I had growing up were outside dogs and it would seem that they were content, but when I think about it, how can they really tell me otherwise? They can't speak. I know that whenever they were allowed in the house, they LOVED it. They never wanted to go back outside unless they had to go the bathroom. One of them has since passed away and now my family keep Angel inside all the time and she whines and whines if she's outside for too long.

Anyway, I think it sounds like you care a lot about your dog and you are making an effort to spend as much time as you possibly can with her. I definitely don't think you should give her away because of this.

pamdb

Posted : 4/6/2006 2:23:30 PM

I think you are doing a great job and giving Bella a lot of attention. Once a puppy
grows up, most of the time they are alone all day. When we visit my in-laws our dog
will run up and down along the fence (on her side) with the little chichuachua on the
other side and they have a great time. Once Bella gets older and doesn't hav to be
crated anymore you probably won't feel bad that she is confined. We stopped crating
at 6 months and moved to just fencing in the ktichen and a couple of months later,
maybe when she was a year old.....we let her have the run of the house and she's never
done anything. Just likes to sit in the chair in front of the livingroom window and watch
the street. And she's a lab/pit mix so it's not like she doesn't have energy.

agilebcs

Posted : 4/6/2006 2:24:59 PM

It sounds like you're doing a good job with her. I've often had second and third thoughts when I've gotten a puppy. It's a lot of work in the beginning but it will get easier.

The only suggestion I have is to try and incorporate Bella into the time you and your wife need to relax after work. In my opinion Bella should be part of that time whether it's taking a walk, running errands (great time to get her used to riding in the car), puttering around the house. I'm not saying that your life should revolve around the puppy but you'll feel less stressed if you incorporate her into your life as opposed to changing your life around and setting specific time requirements. Does that make sense?

I'll bet that your dog you had growing up was plenty of work as a puppy but as a kid you probably weren't aware of it.

A puppy class would be a great idea and perhaps it would get you or your wife interested in further dog related activities.

Kara

Posted : 4/6/2006 2:31:07 PM

Your schedule is exactly like our schedule.

My fiance, Chris gets up at 6am, takes Gracie out to potty, spends some time giving her pets and love then she goes back in the crate and he goes to work. I wake up at 7:30 and spend an hour with Gracie, feeding her, playing with her until she is worn out, then I go to work. Chris gets home at 12ish for lunch, plays with Gracie for 15-20 minutes, makes sure she pottys outside then lets her hang out with him while he eats lunch, then he crates her again. He gets home at 4pm and takes her out for socialization with the kids in the neighborhood. I get home at 6pm and I play with Chris and Gracie outside until she's tired then I do obedience training with Gracie for about 10 mins. We go inside and feed Gracie, then make our dinner and relax for a few hours. Before we go to bed at around 11pm, I will take Gracie outside and play with her untill she's tired. Then we both get to go to sleep! Gracie goes to sleep every night a very tired happy girl. I've managed to lose like 6 lbs since we've gotten her from all the running around and playing [

]. She is only 6 months old and we have had her only a few weeks. So you see, don't feel guilty! You guys are doing a great job!

EDIT: Oh, I forgot, when we are home we keep Gracie on a 6' leash at all times, teathered to one of our feet or a table leg so that she is always in sight. She wasn't totally housebroken when we got her and keeping her teathered has made the whole housebreaking thing very easy. She is learning to let us know when she has to go potty outside and we are learning to read her signals. It also enables us to watch what she is chewing on as she seems to think our stuff is way more fun to chew on than her toys. It also allows us to keep her with us when we are doing stuff like when we are making dinner in the kitchen, I attach the leash to a drawer pull.

Candy Sparrow

Posted : 4/6/2006 2:37:28 PM

I also feel the same way, I just returned back to work from maternity leave and i have a 21 week old puppy, I also go home at lunch to play with him then put him back in his crate when i go back to work. Before i leave to work in the morning i make sure he has toys in his crate and i leave the tv on the cartoon channel[

] before i leave. then when i get home from work i let him out to play and take him for his walk! I also feel like i dont spend enough time with him, but he does get his play time in with me in the morning and at lunch and then for the rest of the day after work..... then the weekends he gets to play all day with me and my family.... we just totally make sure he has something to play with when me and my husband are at work...... ha ha ha and of course leave the cartoons on for him!!!

Stella K.

Posted : 4/6/2006 2:49:23 PM

Sounds like Bella's getting much attention and love in your household... I don't think she's being deprived in any way at all. It'll get easier once she becomes an adult like everyone said.

schleide

Posted : 4/6/2006 4:14:57 PM

I was sure we were doing things wrong and that we weren't paying enough attention to Wesley for the first month we had him (and he was 9 months when we got him). There were nights when I cried my eyes out, thinking I had made a terrible decision. I also lost about 10 pounds - nerves...

I think this is normal for anyone responsible for another living being for the first time. I think it says great things about how much you already love your pup that you are concerned that she gets the attention she deserves.

I think you are doing great, and I think there is nothing wrong with crating Bella when she is alone or you need some "down time," but I would maybe consider agilebcs's suggestion that you incorporate Bella into your relaxation, perhaps along with KaraAnn's suggestion that you teather Bella to you. No reason she can't relax and just hang out (nap or chew a chew toy) while you relax and talk or watch tv and just be with you - that is a really nice form of bonding with your dog, when you just hang out near eachother.

Also, taking a young pup everywhere with you as agilebcs suggested and socializing the pup with everyone and every situation will be really helpful to you in not developing any problems later on with problem reactions to new situations, people or animals...

Hang in there - it is really tough at first, especially on the nerves - but you will get through it and when Bella is older and has truly been incorporated into your lives, it will have all been well worth it [

]!

t__m

Posted : 4/6/2006 5:45:46 PM

...you're doing a great job..
there are some people who don't come home for lunch....
...our friends are holding back on getting a dogue because they
can't make it home for lunch....
...my husband has his own business, so we have the luxury of having
one 'parent' around most of the time...
...a loving home is the best thing a puppy can get, and you're doing well....

Vivian

Posted : 4/7/2006 7:28:08 AM

Stop stressing yourself out, your dog is getting enough attention from the sound of your post. Sounds to me like you are getting too upset over getting this dog. It does take a lot of work, almost like having a baby. *S* relax I lost weight when I first got my pup too do to moving around more. Did me good.

glenmar

Posted : 4/7/2006 7:31:39 AM

Hello, welcome to idog.

I agree. You're doing fine. Relax and enjoy that little one!

probe1957

Posted : 4/7/2006 10:36:35 AM

I agree with everyone else. It sounds to me like you are doing just fine. If it helps any, I am sure most of us would like to spend more time with our dogs but all of us, like you, do the best that we can.