Dog Community

Forum Relationships

Posted : 1/19/2007 3:34:32 PM

Lori's post and all who commented about other people of other forums passing away all made me think... and I didnt want to hijack, so...

Isint it neat how you really do develop relationships online? I mean to an extent its a REAL friendship. In some ways not as intimate as in real life but it other ways it is in fact more personal because although we dont get to hang out and see each other, we do share some things that we wouldnt with the people in our real lives. We turn to each other for advice and to rant and for support... whether it involves our dogs or not...how cool is that! To have a group of support like we have here.

Its funny how well you get to know everyone and stay in touch. I have found myself thinking about some of you while shopping or before going to bed. Thinking of you all are your dogs when doing things in my personal life has made me feel like I really have developed relationships and bonds with you all.

My dad is always on a boat forum. He was doing that way before I found this place... but since then, he's the only one that gets it when I talk about how you get to know the people. Ive even asked him about that. "Do you have a group that is always there? Get to know them?" Well, yep, he does.

He doesnt talk about them much because its about boats and where to fish and boat parts and stuff and none of us are into that but he does always come tell me where they are telling him the fishing is good and he tells them the same. Ive noticed more now since I do it too how much he really reads and types on there.

I, on the other hand, find myself talking about you guys from time to time since I often end up talking about dogs in real life too![

]

Okay, thats all... just speculating.[

] And glad to have you guys as friends here, I really am, just wanted to say that.

fuzzy_dogs_mom

Posted : 1/19/2007 3:39:12 PM

Great post, Amy. Thanks. I'm sure a lot of us feel the same way. And if something were to happen to one of us, I'm sure the rest would want to know and not just go on thinking they disappeared somewhere.

Joyce

dogslyfe

Posted : 1/19/2007 3:48:23 PM

I've made some new friends on forums... some of which have also become my closest friends in real life too! I'm so grateful for that. I do wonder about people. Every now and then I'll think... I haven't seen so-and-so in a while, wonder what's up??? It is nice to know, OK this person is OK, just taking a break.

diane303

Posted : 1/19/2007 3:51:35 PM

Yeah, there are a lot of really nice people on this forum. I participate on a horse forum as well. I've known those people for lots of years through the horse forum and, and even though I don't ride now, I still check in and enjoy conversations there.

I've gotten a lot of good advice here and am still very touched by the composite picture, that includes my dog, done by a wonderful young lady in the Rainbow Bridge forum.

As in any community, though, there are those here who will needlessly slam dunk you for asking a simple question. After much thought and temptation to leave this board myself, I've decided that the best thing to do is to enjoy the company of the courteous, positive people here and ignore the bullies.

Mookies Mom

Posted : 1/19/2007 3:53:56 PM

I know exactly what you mean. Its funny though because when I talk about you all and whats happening on the forum with DH, I feel like I know a number of you from reading your posts. I have learned so much about dogs and their behaviour here (as well as some human behaviours).
Thanks my friends.
Marge

glenmar

Posted : 1/19/2007 4:00:15 PM

In that every now and again I get an email from Jaime that basically says "DANG, you are CRANKY today!" I'm afraid that sometimes I am one of those needless slam dunkers. Sometimes the best of us have a bad day and get *itchy. I try to remember to apologize if I get that way.

Yes there are folks here who I worry about, folks I talk with most days via email, and folks that I absolutely know will hold me up when I'm falling down. And I've only met a couple folks from the forum in person.

loveukaykay

Posted : 1/19/2007 4:11:04 PM

Yeah! Thats kinda my point. I think its incredible that through the internet we develop REAL relationships. We are going to be cranky or in a strange mood (happy, silly, stressed, whatever) and others are going to notice. We are going to hurt feeling and have our feelings hurt. We are going to give support and receive support. We are going to have those that we bond with and those that we clash with. Sometimes we will feel loved and other times not so loved.

I think I was just sort of fascinated that it really does become a friendship in that we will effect each other. Good and bad. As in any friendship.

Ive felt upset at times with the forum or the way I felt about it, and others (and most often) I feel just glad to be here. Glad to have found a group of people with such a common interest... and glad to have developed the relationships.

ETA: And as we all grow and change within our lives some will leave and new people will join.

diane303

Posted : 1/19/2007 4:19:47 PM

It is one place that I can brag and chatter about my girls with out getting glazed-over eyes by the people listening . How cool is that.

Glenmar:

I'm afraid that sometimes I am one of those needless slam dunkers. Sometimes the best of us have a bad day and get *itchy. I try to remember to apologize if I get that way

. A bully is someone who's attach is, often times, exagerated and irrelevant and who never apologizes. You are not a bully.

Yep, I've been snippy at times, too. I'm usually sorry if I've offended someone and apologize.

Well, anyway, it's a good place[

].

.

Susan Robertson

Posted : 1/19/2007 4:41:52 PM

Isint it neat how you really do develop relationships online?

I started on Babycenter back in '98 when I was pregnant with my twins. The core group of us broke away from BC a few years later and started our own site where we post pics, and talk about everything. Our kids are all 8 yrs. old now and we are still going strong! We had a reunion 2 yrs. ago in Baltimore and most of us got there for the weekend. It was great to put voices to faces and really meet in person.

I used to think it was "weird" to talk to people I really don't even know, but now I don't. However, there are some that still look at me weird when I mention my "online friends"!!

DPU

Posted : 1/19/2007 5:46:39 PM

ORIGINAL: glenmar

In that every now and again I get an email from Jaime that basically says "DANG, you are CRANKY today!" I'm afraid that sometimes I am one of those needless slam dunkers. Sometimes the best of us have a bad day and get *itchy. I try to remember to apologize if I get that way.

I don't know what you are talking about because I have not seen this and I am all over this board every day. I guess when it comes to your posts I automatically do a mind tone adjustment.

Benedict

Posted : 1/19/2007 6:19:05 PM

I know what you mean. Forum relationships can be strange and wonderful things. I think in any gathering of people who are like-minded on at least one issues, there are going to be times when 2 people really connect. I have made one friend in particular on here who I don't even count as an "internet friend" anymore. She is simply a very close friend who happens to live 3000 miles away. We have plans to meet and are very, very alike in so many ways. Other people I don't get along with so much, but that too mimics real life. I don't get along with everyone I meet, although I try to be friendly. Good or bad, an internet forum IS representative of a true community. I suspect that if you picked up every i-dog member and dropped us all on a desert island, the same people who link up online would do so in real life.

Kate

houndlove

Posted : 1/19/2007 6:50:24 PM

Pretty much every single in-real-life friend I have (and have had for years) came from one internet forum. Well, it was and I guess probably still is a listserv, back in the dark ages before forums like this were all that common. It was a group of women who were fans of the band Phish. Which I know sounds a little weird but at the time Phish was a predominantly male past-time for some reason and we wanted to have a support structure for women in the community and especially on tour. So it was inevitable that I'd meet all those people in person on tour at some point. In fact, part of our mission was to have a group of members at every show visible and handing out emergency information, condoms, etc.... All of my friends but one here in Pittsburgh are from that group. And I have friends all over the country from it. We still get together every now and then even though Phish is no more.

I have opinions though. And I'm not very good at equivocating, nor do I really want to. I know what I know and I'll state it in some pretty certain terms. I think the most important thing is to not criticize a person along with their ideas. And I think sometimes people get wrapped up and take a criticism of their opinion or idea as a personal attack. But if you're going to have opinions, I think you should be prepared to state them and stand by them until you get evidence that changes them. I don't really believe that "oh whatever you believe is fine, it's all good" because there are rights and wrongs in life. And you should be prepared to say, "I believe this is right." and defend that.

jjsmom06

Posted : 1/19/2007 7:09:21 PM

Amy- what a great thread! I think about this every day! [

]

When I first came to this forum I just needed some information about allergies in dogs and I got PLENTY of fantastic advice. It was never my intention to stay on this forum for long, but I was surprised to find people that I actually enjoyed chatting with. I love to be social but am incredibly picky about the friends I let close to me. The friendships I have developed with several idoggers is the reason I stay and why I need my “daily fix”. [8D]

Several people have truly enriched my life, they make me laugh, cry, they send hugs and a shoulder to cry on from a far when I need it. They give me perspective in my life as well as joy and I can#%92t imagine life without them in it.

gradyupmybutt

Posted : 1/19/2007 7:49:21 PM

Almost any forum I've spent any time on, I've made friends. I'm like most who have posted in here & I think about people on here @ random times. More to the point I think of the dogs. This is the only place I can come to all hyped up after a great day @ the barkpark & tell you all about it. People will understand & maybe even be happy too.
The people in here are almost always there to pick someone up if they need it & we're a pretty powerful group when we put our candles & prayers to work.

janobonano

Posted : 1/19/2007 8:04:34 PM

I love this place. I love hearing about and seeing pics of everyone's dogs - keeping up with their lives. You really "get to know" people after a while, and really start to care about them. Sometimes it feels like we're all neighbors. I would love to meet so many of you "in person." I think about the forum a lot when I'm not at a computer... or when I'm at a computer and shouldn't be thinking about it! (work) I got a new job, I start Monday, and one of my biggest worries is that I won't be able to keep up with i-dog as much! I had my own office at my last job, and at the new one, everyone in the art dept is in one big room.