Frustration and sadness......

Dr. Patricia McConnell is an excellent behaviorist, but for that price you probably aren't going to be speaking with her.  Verify the credentials of who ever you are dealing with. 
 
I think you might want to lighten up on your dog a bit.  You seem a little to emotionally involved in her rehab.  You know the whole "watched pot" theory.  The same thing can apply to dogs.  They are very sensitive to our reactions and if you want it to happen to bad it may never come.  Just take a step back and relax.  Continue building the relationship between you and your dog, and exposing her to new people as your relationship grows. 
 
I don't know your history so I won't give you any specifics, but try and relax and take it as it comes.  It you achieve the CGC...great.  If you don't...that's OK to.  Don't overlook what you already have, trying to achieve something that really isn't that important anyway.
 
Good Luck and if you need more specific assistance please let me know.  We charge about $60/hour for a professional consult. 

ORIGINAL: sillysally

...and while she stood next to me while I talked to them she would do nothing but look at them. She doesn't growl or snarl or even bark, she just looks...

OK I probably shouldn't respond b/c I don't know this whole story, but...my first thought to what you said above was..."So? What's wrong with that?" In another part of your post you are frustrated b/c she "refused to do anything more than lick the hand of new people, even though yesterday she was greeting people left and right." What sort of "greeting" are you going for? If she's not being negatively aggressive towards people I guess I don't see what the problem is. [sm=uhoh.gif]

I do agree with Mic that she undoubtedly can sense your great frustration and irritation over this. Maybe you *are* putting too much pressure on her or have to many expectations for her to be the way you want her to be. Good luck.

How old is Sally?  I agree, whats the problem if she looks at them?  And you dont want her to sniff new people?? I think all dogs will sniff strangers when they meet!  I dont get what you are talking about here really, unless you just have some predetermind EXACT way you want her to be, which I think is highly unfair to her.  Why not let her be her? as long as shes not hurting anyone or being agressive.  I dont mean to sound mean or anything I really dont... and I also dont know the whole story - just lettin you know what I think based on what youve written here.

I would say Sally is doing good. You just have to take the "set backs" in stride. When she doesn't react the way you want her too she feels your frustration and probably thinks those negative type of feelings are because she did something wrong.
 
Boss' last meeting with a stranger ended up with him ripping the man's $300 coat trying to jump on him in excitement. His experience before that involved me thaking God I have the sense to put his muzzle on when we go places.
 
As far as the man you had a funny feeling about, and she probably did too. Trust her instincts. Most of the time our dogs can judge someone's character better than we can.
 
Don't take any of her backwards step personally. It's best to let her move at her own pace. If she decides 2 people is enough to meet that day.. then so be it. Be happy she will only look at them. Boss has to wear his muzzle because he will try to snap and growl at certain people. I never know who it will be so I don't take chances. The only thing I can be almost confident in is that he will be fine 99% of the time with women.
 
In the same way we don't always feel like being around other people or doing things, I'm sure they don't either. It could even be that the people she's not receptive to have a smell or something she doesn't like. Maybe they have gas on their hands, or cologne she doesn't like, etc.
 
As much as I love taking Boss to the store for socialization and a chance to get out of the house, I realize that a lot of the time it's sensory overload in there for him. He's trying to smell who knows how many other dogs, people are walking by and he's trying to get a reading on them and trying to listen to me and be the good dog he wants to be. I'm pushing a cart beside him usually and he has to wear his arch enemy, the muzzle. Sometimes before I'm even done shopping, I take Boss back out to the store because it's too much for him.
 
Just be proud of how far she has come and don't look at how far you feel she has to go. Enjoy her today, let tomorrow work itself out!
 
 

I WANT so much to be able to do "normal" dog owner things with her.

 
Let that go, adjust to what she can do.  She unfortunately didn't have a "normal" dog start.  My dog didn't either and I'm in the same boat as you.
 
Willow has very similar issues, some of this you can slowly improve but she will probably never be 100% reliable.  I've looked into private agility classes, you could probably check that out too. 

Christina--Accept how she is and just do what you can.  It's not her fault what happened and it's not yours. 

I've had the same feelings and I was a lot happier and she actually did a lot better when I just let it go at whatever pace she wanted. 

ORIGINAL: trishanne420

As much as I love taking Boss to the store for socialization and a chance to get out of the house, I realize that a lot of the time it's sensory overload in there for him.

Very true! I have a quiet/shy dog too and was told by a very reputable breeder/trainer that a store is not a good place to socialize a dog that is shy. It has way too many things going on -- sights, smells, noises, people, animals, etc. Start small and work your way up, and if you see your dog telling you he's had enough, then it's time to call it a day and accept it. Be happy for the baby steps your dog is making and try not to think about having a "normal" dog. You've got the dog you've got. What's "normal" anyway?

I sure wouldn't worry about her not wanting to *meet & greet* someone that you thought was a little creepy.  I think dogs really have a sixth sense about some of this stuff.

I think maybe some of us have not understood clearly what it is you expect your dog to do?  From you post it seems you want her to greet people without any hesitation at all.  Even my super confident 82 pound Crusher still sniffs people to make sure they are allowed to touch him. 

You have obviously come a long long way with this girl.  Give yourself a break and enjoy the progress she has alrready made.  Make a list of the accomplishments she has had already.  Sometimes in trying to see the big picture we forget all the baby steps it took to get there.  Try to remember what she was like when you brought her home and compare it to today.  I bet you'll feel better. 

And by the way be happy that she stands beside you when a stranger approaches.  That takes guts.  My puppies still cower behind me sometimes if someone seems interested in them and they are not wearing black sunglasses.

If you want a confident dog, you go to a reputable breeder, or a shelter that has a behavioral eval program, and you get a confident dog.  But, if you love the dog you have and want her to be more confident than she is by nature (or due to the inadequacies of her human handlers past or present), you learn patience and you learn how to train (desensitize, perhaps) the dog to new situations.  For the shy dog, this may be a lifelong battle, or, as with my hound, it could be a few months long battle.  In any case, a positive and happy attitude from you for each little success she has will go a very long way.
There are breed propensities toward shyness or wariness or just aloofness.  In the case of my BC/Spaniel mix, she got the Spaniel brain, and willingly trots up to anyone.  So does my hound (so long as we are outdoors).  But, my Aussie mix and my purebred Aussie would no more think of walking up wagging to someone they don't know than they would of turning themselves into cats.
However, my Sioux (the Aussie mix) is a registered therapy dog.  I worked for a solid year taking her to class every single week, and to agility class, and out and about, to get this naturally timid and shy dog to be more confident.  The nice part is, we were successful, and she is absolutely great as a therapy dog because she would never jump on a stranger!  In fact, we will be going to a health fair tomorrow, and predictably, she will sit under the table all day and let everyone come up for a pat.  How did I get there?  Well, for a very long time, I simply asked other people to approach in non-threatening ways (body to the side, no direct eye contact) and let her come to them for a piece of liver treat. 
Not saying you will be successful if you do as I did, but you will not be successful if you get all wound up about each little setback...your dog is who she is, just as you are.  Try to think of what would happen if you were scared of height and someone tried to make you skydive.  Then, realize that there are programs who get phobic people to skydive - run by skillful psychologists and trainers)

Random thoughts:  Rescue remedy for you not her [] well maybe her too.  Second thought, may be this is just who she is, it sounds pretty good to me (I know have a fairly outgoing dog (7yr)  he wouldnt let anyone touch him for the first couple of years as in the stand for exam and one real wacko who has finally settled).  There is nothing wrong with a civil reserved dog.  I would gauge her behavior with regard to adding people to her circle of friends.  If she is doing that, maybe take a breath and take some time.  What you feel travels right down the leash.  What you see may be you as much, if not more than her. (said with kindness in mind and a polite voice with just a hint of teasing)

I would LOVE it if any of my dogs would stand next to me and just watch the other person.  Tasha barks her warning barks at strangers until they get close.  Kota loves people but barks like crazy at other people's dogs.  To me it sounds like Sally is doing great!  Just like some people are all huggy when they meet or depart from friends/family, other people are not.  I've never been a huggy type of person but I'm learning over time. 

Sounds like you two are doing great and Sally is really lucky she found you who cares about her so much. 

When you are put off by a stranger or are tense in a situation, you put off a different smell, due to pheromones, presence or absence of adrenalin, etc. The dog can smell that as clear as a sunny day. They also read body posture. IMO, your dog is reacting to your state, as well as whatever she smells wrong with the other person. She may be guarding you. If a new man is interested in you, he may be putting out a pheromone that she can smell and she's "protecting" you by staying at attention.
 
I also wonder, aside from Spiritdog's excellent results, if certain dogs are just better therapy dogs than others.
 
Otherwise, it sounds like you have a fine, if reserved dog. Shadow is often shy at first, but he warms quickly. Let's face it, not all people, even those who own dogs, know how to approach a new dog properly. Some just have it, some don't.
 
Good luck.
 

I really have had a lot of time to think this whole thing over, and I think you guys are right, I AM asking for too much from her too fast. I find I have a tendancy to do that. [sm=banghead002.gif]

I think a lot of it comes out of the fact that before Sally my only dog was a mini dachsund when I was 7. Although I don't regret it, DH and I really did it the backasswards way. We discovered Sally needed a home at time when we were not planning on but were open to the idea of getting a dog. I wish I had idog then , seriously--she was not housebroken, cratetrained, cowered at the leash, knew zero commands, and we were just as clueless. We learned how to housebreak her off of a housebreaking website (I still thought that you were supposed to rub their noses in an accident--thankfully I was straightened out on THAt one quickly) and learned how to crate train the same way. Having a "doggy" friend REALLY helped too, considering the only other friend of mine (besides the "doggy" one) who has a dog keeps him in a 10x12 ft kennel all day and only interacts with him when they are taking him in or out of his crate in the garage. It was only after getting her that we discovered things like socialization, obedience (I mean beyond sit), mental stimulation, etc. However, not an excuse...

When I say she is shy, this is what I mean--when a new person appraoches her, she will duck away if they go to touch her, and back away if they keep trying to touch her. Women and kids can usually touch her after she gets a minute to sniff and lick them, even faster if they give her a treat. With men it takes much longer. She will approach a man haltingly--leaning towards his hand, quickly sniffing, and then backing away, repeating this until she will eventually lick his hand. If he has treats it will generally speed up the process. If all goes to her liking, then she will "test" them, by trying to get them to play--wag her tail, occasionally bow, and almost always extend a paw to touch them. If the men are willing to stick it out through this process, she will usually (unless they are ubber scary for some reason) allow petting. There are some people (deep voices, lots of facial hair, very tall) that she will just not go and meet. If the person ignores her and talks to me, she gets used to them much more quickly, and she wants to do "drive by sniffings"--sniffing people as they walk by. Once she decides someone is "cool" she is very affectionate towards them, and they can count on getting a face washing.

I think I just desperately want everyone to see what an AWESOME dog she is, although I realize that it is not fair for me to bring that to the table when trying to train her.

I have decided to focus my attention on improving our relationship and bond, and slowly let new people come with time. I am going to cool it with going places with lots of strangers of a little bit. It seems best of she goes to places where she will run into new people about once a week. I guess I was just thinking if some is good more is better (bad idea).

Thank you guys for being patient with me--I hope my actions have not messed up the progress we have made together too badly. I love Sally SO much and I want us to be a team....

BTW--the beach guy was truely creepy...he was asking me where I lived and worked and if I came there often. He asked me if I was married and if so if I was happily married. He also asked of Sally was mean and I said "no, she's just shy" without thinking. I should have been like "No, but she is a highly trained protection dog [sm=biggrin.gif]"......

Anyhoo..I realize that my post was very defeatist and whiny, and I apologize...

Yup that guy sounds like a complete weirdo, it sucks when you get stuck talking with someone like that - awkward.
 
I doesnt sounds like you have done anything at all to effect the relationship you and Sally have...  now your being too hard on yourself[]
 
Good luck with her... she sounds very friendly to me, just needs a minute.  Im sure slowly working with her she will get more confident in it all and everything will be just right for the two of you []