Selfish?

    • Gold Top Dog

    Selfish?

    I had this thought and it made me really upset....[:(]
     
    When we chose to get kika there were so many reasons why she was a good fit for our family. She's a calm cuddle mushpot inside and an all terrain vehicle outside ideal for camping, hiking, swimming, sunbathing...just enjoying life. She's the perfect size, low maintenance grooming, and the list goes on and on not to mention her amazing personality and temperament.
     
    We try to be the best most responsible parents we can.  Train her constantly, exercise her religiously, socialize her as much as we can, and take her everywhere with us so she's an all around kinda gal. Most importantly we give her tons of love and cuddles.
     
    99% of the time, she's the picture of perfection, she loves all dogs and people, she's attentive and obedient, we consider ourselves so unbelievably lucky to have found such an amazing dog.  I know without doubt she would NEVER have any aggression towards people. I say 99% because there is that 1% when she doesn't come when called, pulls on her leash, or eats that thing that you can not identify on the roadCrying
     
    Here's what makes my stomach turn and of course its due to me over thinking things and just being an overall worry wart and the chances of something happening are of that 1%.  But here it goes....we control her environment and her as much as humanly possible, however she's another living creature with her own free will. The cold reality of it is that she is a pitbull, the dreaded, most despised, most controversial breed of dog. If she were any other breed, normal 'dog behavior' would be more socially acceptable. All it would take is for her to lick the wrong person, or sniff the wrong dog and her life could be at stake because a pitbull unfriendly person takes her dog behavior to a whole nother level.  As she is a pitbull, dog behavior is not acceptable.
     
    We live in the city and I can't help but think, are we being selfish? Selfish in asking her to not be a dog and restricting her so much because of people's fears. Would she be better off living on a huge farm somewhere where she would not come under the scrutiny of humans? Where she could be a dog? We want to love her, give her the best possible life and have her as part of our family but are we being selfish?
    • Silver
    LOOK at that face!  NO, don't do that to you, your husband or your Kika.  We live in a quaint oldtown type of suburb and next door we have a pitbull who is one of the sweetest dearest loverbugs you'd ever want to meet.  He couldn't be more shy but is thoroughly in love with my Dottie!  [:D]  What I am saying is, that these people have taken the type of care in being good puppy parents as you and your husband have and they are doing it fine.  He is no worse for the wear and neither is Kika.  Keep your babygirl and just give her the love you can.  You can't buck everyone's prejudices.  Their loss.  Be strong.
    • Gold Top Dog
    I feel like I'm missing some very important bit of information!   Like... the *selfish* part?  It sounds like you are fantastic dog owners and that Kika is a very lucky (and happy) girl.  What more could she want?   I think sometimes we have (all of us) a misguided idea of what dogs want/need.  Like living on a huge farm!!!!  I think that what they really need and want is for us to LOVE them and spend TIME with them!  I don't think acreage is a requirement for dogs at all (I live in NYC).   What on earth would Kika do on a farm without YOU???  [sm=sad.gif]
    • Gold Top Dog
    I cant tell you how I how very real your thoughts are, I share some of them as well. When I see Rory race across a open field or tear after my husbadn playing chase I wonder if I am giving her the best life I can.
    My husband explained it to me like this. For every pit bull we have that is one more that isnt in a bad home, one more that we can show the world that all pits arnt bad, one more that isnt killed in a shelter. I know you can say that about a lot of dogs but we chose this breed because they warm our hearts and even after all the bull crap we put up with I know YOU would do it all over again for one ounce of the pride we feel when our particualr dogs bring joy. For every person that pets your pit bull at the dog store that is a victory in itself! I obviously dont know you personally but from teh way you care for your dogs I know there is no way you could turn a blind eye to whats going on after all the passion and emotion you have put into this issue. I know it gets hard soemtimes but I know its right when I roll over in the morning and feel that nose press into my cheek.
    "Not every person needs a pit bull but every pit bull needs a person"
     
    I got this in my email this morning.........
     
     
    Pit Bull Christmas Carol...
    T'was the night before Christmas and the shelter is dark, The whole place is silent, not even a bark. The dogs are all locked in their pens for the night, The staff has gone home and turned out the light. As I lay my head down on the cold concrete floor, I fondly recall the home I had before. The family I loved, who loved me right back, We'd share everything -- from secret to snack. Things couldn't be better at this time last year, But that has all changed and now I am here. I won't see the tree, the lights, or the snow, I'm scared and alone, my spirits are low. The others like me weren't put up for adoption, A new family and home, for us aren't an option. We've been locked up in cells as if we're all crooks, We don't deserve homes because of our looks. Not Diesel, or Bingo, or the young one named Percy, Deserve to be loved nor shown any mercy. While families celebrate holiday cheer, I know in my heart that my end is near. The vet will arrive, the lights will go on, By the time you awake, we all will be gone. A stranger will come and take me away, I'll never wake to see another day. As I close my eyes I'll shed you a tear, The fond memories I'll always keep near. The only thing I've ever asked of Santa Claus, Is to stop all these unfair and ridiculous laws. You said without me, your life was not full, So why does it matter that I'm a "pit bull"? In my dream Santa shouts when he's finished his deed, * "MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL...REGARDLESS OF BREED"!
    • Gold Top Dog
    And in regards to your living situation......we ALL wish for something bigger and better. The point is I know you go out of your way to make it the best you can and it is a whole lot more then a lot of people we ancounter even here on the forum. You dont use your place of residence as a exscuse to exersice your dogs and that is what matters.
    Too many dogs sleep outside, in the garage, in kenenls and I cant even think of anything worse. I hope your just having a off day and it brightens soon. Go kiss those mushy noses that are probably srating at you right now, he he!
     
    • Silver
    What on earth would Kika do on a farm without YOU???
    EXACTLY!
    • Gold Top Dog
    It sounds like you are absolutely wonderful dog parents! Kika couldn't have asked for a better home. [:D]
     
    Please don't feel bad. There are always going to be people who will "look down on" your dog. It can happen with any dog, but unfortunately pit bulls have it the worst. But by socializing and training your dog, you can show the world that pit bulls are not a bad breed. You are doing 100% the right thing!
    • Gold Top Dog
    Thank-you all for your kind words, I think I needed to hear some positive words after hearing so many negative.  You want to do the best for the ones you love and sometimes its not always cut and dry.  I was actually starting to wonder if negative comments affected Kika, luckily puppies don't dwell in the past like humans.  Ah wish I could learn that!
    Sheprano, your Christmas Carol was so sad it made me sniffle at work!
     
    • Gold Top Dog
    I think you guys are the perfect puppy parents! If Kika was lacking in ANY way she would let you know through her behavior.
    • Gold Top Dog
    I know it stinks.  I have people walk up to me ... well about 10' away because they're scared ... and ask me "Why do you own a vicious dog like that?" while he's walking beside me at a perfect heel.  Regardless that they have no idea what my dog is like.  That they don't know that he thinks he's a lap dog.  I know that he has to be 10x better than my lab because of what he is.  He can't step out of line at all ... because then the label fits...
     
    "Those dogs are vicious." ... "No Tommy! Don't pet that one - they're not friendly!" ... "What do you need a guard dog for?" 

    It starts to wear after a while ... At first I let it ... I would come home crying after a walk ... It sucks having people cross the street or give you the hairy eyeball because you have a dog that they have preconceived notions about.
     
    Now I often think about getting a t-shirt printed that said "Don't assume my dog is vicious and I won't assume you're an idiot."  It would make me feel better anyway... [&:]
    • Gold Top Dog
    You are GREAT dog owners![:)]  Never give her up because she's a pit bull!  Besides, she's happy with you, isn't she?
    • Gold Top Dog
    OMG I can't believe it, life is testing me isn't it?[&o]

    So I take Kika for a walk and I'm standing on this pathway as Kika poops and what happens?  a bunch of PTA parents, their kids, and dogs walk by, a whole herd of them.  One of the parents says loudly, ok everybody gather up and watch the kids there's a pitbull.  She then proceeds to tell the kids that the pitbull is going to bite them and to the parents to be careful.  I hear the kids repeating her "that pitbull is going to bite us".  I am just dumbfounded by the ignorance of these people and that they are raising their children with such prejudices. 

    You're probably wondering if I said anything and I'm sure  this is going to eat away at me but I didn't.  I couldn't think of what to say and I hate speaking in front of large groups of people.  All I could do was shake my head.  Of course now I think of the million educated things that I  could have said.  "You must be mistaking my dog for another because she is extremely friendly and loving, would you like to meet her?", "Please don't judge my baby based on her superficial appearance as she is no different than your dog",  "You know I've heard rumours about pitbulls too, however loving one I find them to be just that, rumours"
    But alas I said nothing. [:(]
    People tell me its gets easier over time to take peoples prejudices.  I'm starting to hope I get numb soon.
    • Gold Top Dog
    I'm so sorry you and Kika have to deal with people and prejudices like that. A few weeks ago I told a man with two pitbulls that his dogs were gorgeous and he looked at me like I must be sarcastic, which made me suspect a stranger had never said anything kind about his dogs. It truly breaks my heart.

    You sound like a wonderful dog owner and Kika is very lucky to have you.
    • Gold Top Dog
    It sounds to me like she couldn't be happier or luckier!
    • Gold Top Dog
    ORIGINAL: silver_wlf
    Now I often think about getting a t-shirt printed that said "Don't assume my dog is vicious and I won't assume you're an idiot."  It would make me feel better anyway... [&:]


    i would like one of those shirts as well! [:D]