Being the Alpha... is there a right way to do it?

Well, there's the way where you're not the alpha but a benevolent leader/teacher/godlike bestower of all good things. That's the way I choose.
 
Alpha as applied to humans interacting with domestic dogs is such an imprecise term and can pretty much mean anything to anyone.

ORIGINAL: houndlove

Well, there's the way where you're not the alpha but a benevolent leader/teacher/godlike bestower of all good things. That's the way I choose.

Alpha as applied to humans interacting with domestic dogs is such an imprecise term and can pretty much mean anything to anyone.

I was about to say that!  And I like to add - confidence and a long view make you the alpha.

Paula

Patricia McConnell's books are really great on this topic. Not only general philosophy but specific pointers on being the benevolent leader in training situations. I've watched Zhi, who is the most confident alpha of all time, introduce herself to newcomers and soon she's got them eating out of her paw. She gives them exactly what they want, in doggy terms, and then she'll walk away and make them beg for more. At that point they recognize her as leader. She initiates play, dominates personal space, and is the Queen of All Toys. She doesn't value food more than the King of All Food, Ben, however, but any other dog she can take food away at will. Remember that Zhi weighs eight pounds and can't exactly throw her weight around in this household of dogs who are faster, heavier, and more athletic than she is. But she's the undisputed boss.

I like to think of leadership in the same way native people think of respect for elders.  Being old doesn't make you an elder, being wise does, and having the respect of your people does.  Dogs do not respect aggressive humans who try to "dominate" them, instead they fear them.  They respect humans who consistently, if gently, insist on proper behavior, and who communicate in ways the dog understands. 
Read "The Culture Clash" (Jean Donaldson), "The Other End of the Leash" and "How to Be the Leader of the Pack and Have Your Dog Love You For It" (Patricia McConnell, Ph.D.).   That's a good start.
And, good for you for wanting to be a good leader.  Hopefully, you will be a kind one. []

I agree with everyone who has posted.

Another great book that deals with leadership roles in a dog/human relationship is by Nicole Wilde and is titled "Living With Wolfdogs"

  Dogs and wolves communicate alot by body posturing,and a dog can also read alot into a human by body language.

  Aside from the WD debate,the books by Nicole Wilde have alot to offer in how to form a relationship with your dogs.she also is a positive trainer.

 

To me being the alpha is letting my two dogs know that Im the boss, Im in charge, and that Ill always be there for them through good and bad times.  When they're puppies and I want to establish the alpha, I will hold them on their backs till they relax and submit, then give them kisses and hugs to thank them for letting me be in control.  Ill also do a routine of checking their ears, mouth, privates, paws, tail, etc, and not allow them to bite or growl.  Ill also give them treats or bones and randomly take it from them, without allowing them to growl or bite, and then give it back as well...always with coos, hugs and kisses too.  When walking them I will keep them under control and randomly tell them to sit and stay, then go, and keep them under control.  To me its basically being a good parent and teaching them right from wrong and to be respectful of myself as their leader.