Help! What would you do? LONG...

removing  threads about my deceased granddaughter due to a pm I received.

Darla, I want to commend you for your total commitment and dedication to your granddaughter. Of course she comes FIRST and you should never feel guilty about making personal sacfrices on her behalf. It would wonderful if you could find a solution that would allow you to keep your beloved pets with you as I know you will miss them dearly.

I think it is great that you have found people who want to give your dogs loving homes. I am sure they will be loved, well cared for and ultimately happy. Dogs are very resilient and adaptable. Humans, no so much. We want to project our human emotions onto our pets and assume they will be forever traumatized by feelings of abandonment or resentment. You are not dropping your dogs off at a shelter or putting them to sleep. You are placing them with friends and family where you know they will have wonderful lives. I think you are obviously a kind, caring and responsible person.

Life doesn't always work out the way we plan or would like. We are forced to make changes due to circumstances we have no control over. In order to make the right decisions we need to have our priorities right, which in my opinion you do! As hard as giving up your dogs will be for you, it will not as hard for your dogs. They will be fine.

Good luck and God bless you!

removing  threads about my deceased granddaughter due to a pm I received.

Darla, I don't know where you are, but my Mother and her best friend both have in-home daycares. They are, at the moment, struggling to fill their spots. Both are excellent at what they do, and have nice, long established, good state certified businesses. For whatever reason, it seems that filling spots has been more difficult as of late.

Makes me wonder if this is a trend or just a brief bump in the road? Hope so, anyway. My mother also keeps my 3 year old niece - and I know how very much it means to both of them.

At any rate, I can see you have a very difficult decision on your hands. I wish you all the best - and peace with whatever you decide.

As an option for you, I wonder if it would be possible to set up outdoor kennels (with tops), seperate from the children's outdoor play area for them to run in during the day??

Maybe something a little like this (obviously I have way too much time on my hands):



At any rate, sometimes we're faced with making really crappy decisions. I know you must be agonizing over this, just know we're right here with you.

Hey Darla, I'm really sorry to hear what you're facing and can only imagine how stressful of a time this is.  I just wanted to say that I admire your commitment and determination to do what's best for your daugher, granddaughter and your dogs.   I wish you peace with your decision.

What would I do. I would not give up my dogs. I would find a way to separate the dogs from the kids. If I'm not going to get business because of my dogs it would just be me and my grandaughter.

JMO.
Paula

Darla, WAIT!

I bet your granddaughter has relationships with the dogs, too! How is she going to feel if you rehome her dog friends? You may not realize how much they mean to her. They are part of the stability you are offering her.

I remember being three and enjoying the standard dachshund my father had. I also remember missing him.

I think the points about the wariness of small town folk are quite true, they may just be making an excuse. And it may be that getting rid of your dogs won't change that at all. Or it may very easily be a slow period for daycare. There seem to be way too many daycares in a town that size. I don't see how any one of them gets enough children.

My guess is that you're thinking far too black-and-white. There have been some great suggestions for keeping the dogs separate, or for taking care of your granddaughter half days and working half days. She would survive, she would be fine! As long as she has you, it doesn't have to be every single minute your son is at work.

I know. I grew up with an abusive mother. My father was only sporadically there, as he went on as many business trips as he could to get away from her. Regardless, he was my emotional ROCK as a kid. He is why I survived, even though he wasn't there most of the time.

She'll learn lots and lots being in another daycare while you work half a day, and then be overjoyed to come home to Grandma (and the dogs!) every afternoon.

I hope you will consider other options. HUGS.

ORIGINAL: jeano

Darla, WAIT!

I bet your granddaughter has relationships with the dogs, too! How is she going to feel if you rehome her dog friends? You may not realize how much they mean to her. They are part of the stability you are offering her.

I remember being three and enjoying the standard dachshund my father had. I also remember missing him.

I think the points about the wariness of small town folk are quite true, they may just be making an excuse. And it may be that getting rid of your dogs won't change that at all. Or it may very easily be a slow period for daycare. There seem to be way too many daycares in a town that size. I don't see how any one of them gets enough children.

My guess is that you're thinking far too black-and-white. There have been some great suggestions for keeping the dogs separate, or for taking care of your granddaughter half days and working half days. She would survive, she would be fine! As long as she has you, it doesn't have to be every single minute your son is at work.

I know. I grew up with an abusive mother. My father was only sporadically there, as he went on as many business trips as he could to get away from her. Regardless, he was my emotional ROCK as a kid. He is why I survived, even though he wasn't there most of the time.

She'll learn lots and lots being in another daycare while you work half a day, and then be overjoyed to come home to Grandma (and the dogs!) every afternoon.

I hope you will consider other options. HUGS.

 
I think that's excellent advice.

I want to say that whatever your decision may be, I wish you the best of luck. I can only imagine the type of bond you must have with your granddaughter, and if you feel this is what you need to stay together, then so be it.

If I had to chose between Liz and Jonandel, I would choose my son in a heartbeat, no questions asked.

I know we are all dog lovers, but sometimes I think we take things too far. When its a choice between human family and the dog, it should be a no brainer. I know your decision is a hard one Darla, but whatever it may be, you have my full support.

ORIGINAL: LizzieCollie

I want to say that whatever your decision may be, I wish you the best of luck. I can only imagine the type of bond you must have with your granddaughter, and if you feel this is what you need to stay together, then so be it.

If I had to chose between Liz and Jonandel, I would choose my son in a heartbeat, no questions asked.

I know we are all dog lovers, but sometimes I think we take things too far. When its a choice between human family and the dog, it should be a no brainer. I know your decision is a hard one Darla, but whatever it may be, you have my full support.

I think it is far from a no-brainer. IMO in addition to my responsibility to animals in my care I would also be concerned about the message I would be sending my grandchild about what in life is disposable and what is not, and IMO, how hard one might work to make a situation work out.

JMO of course.
Paula

removing  threads about my deceased granddaughter due to a pm I received.

Your granddaughter is a beautiful girl and so very blessed to have you. I know your decision is made with a heavy heart, so I am sending you ((((HUGS)))).

Although this is a dog forum, I think it is important to remind ourselves that human lives and relationships are to be treasured and protected above all. Thank you for the reminder and when you give Ali J her hug tonight, please add an extra little sqeeze for me.

Many times, the right decision is the hardest, and I think this is one of those times.  Bless you for caring so deeply for you grandchild.  She's a beautiful little girl and lucky to have you []

Well ultimately it is your decision to make. You asked us what we would do and we told you.

Paula

I suspect you already had your mind made up when you posted, and came seeking "permission", which you certainly don't need from us.  But, I am surprised that you are surprised at some of our reactions.  I must say that, having lost a beloved companion when I was 7, I really identified with jeano's comment about your granddaughter's relationship with the dogs.
At any rate, I believe that if it were me, I would stand on my principles, and not give up my dogs.  I wouldn't just do that for selfish reasons, I would do that to show my granddaughter that pets are not "disposable".  I feel as though I would be modeling appropriate commitment to the animals I took in.  Then, I would go to all the dog pro's in town and ask them to refer business to me.  Or, I would get creative about how to make a living (maybe medical billing at home or something).