Drug and alcohol problem...

Wow, Billy.  [sm=eek.gif]
 
Certainly a valid perspective.

ORIGINAL: probe1957

ORIGINAL: spiritdogs

Do you honestly think that people who lose their families, jobs, money, houses, and self respect are freely "choosing" that? 

I do.  I think these people can clearly see the damage their behavior causes, but they choose to engage in the behavior anyway.  It is a personal choice.

I used to do cocaine on a daily basis.  A lot of cocaine.  Frankly, I love cocaine and I loved the lifestyle.  I had a high paying job at the time, but I had to deal cocaine to support my habit, which was about a gram a day.  More on weekends.  I have purchased and dealt cocaine by the kilo.  That takes a lot of money and is indicative of a serious problem.

All the time I had a cocaine problem, I was fully cognizant of the fact that I did indeed have a problem.  But I managed to keep my bills paid and I managed to stay high, so I just didn't care.  Cocaine, to me, was that good of a drug.

In 1986, at 29 years old, certainly not a kid, I decided that cocaine, good as it was, was ruining my life.  I had produced significantly higher than average income for a number of years, yet I had nothing to show for it.  I realized that as long as I continued in the cocaine lifestyle, I was never going to have anything.  I was constantly paranoid, due to my dealing activities and the effect of the drug.  I had to change.  Since April of that year, I haven't touched cocaine.  No therapy, no intervention, nothing except my personal decision to quit.

I know that cocaine, for me, is not a recreational drug.  It didn't take years of therapy and all kinds of sponsors for me to figure that out.  It was a personal decision, just as every line I ever snorted was a personal decision.

Perhaps today, my addiciton would be considered a disease.  Maybe even back then it would have been considered a disease.  But if I had considered it a disease, even with the advantage of hindsight, that would have just been avoiding personal responsibility for my irresponsible behavior.  So yes, I honestly do believe that people who engage in addicive behavior choose to do so of their own free will.  I certainly did.

Edited to add:

I think a gram of cocaine, back in my day, cost $125.  If I had done a gram a day, and I am sure I did much more than that, my habit would have cost me $45,625 per year.  That alone is a problem.  []

 
I'm new here, I'm going from thread to thread, trying to see how things operate
 
Wow, Billy, I respect this type on honesty.  I also agree one hundred percent.
 
I was a drunk, although a good drunk, I went to work, I paid my bills, I fuctioned in polite society.  It did take a toll on my home life.  Drinking is was the main problem in my marriage.  Oh, I cared about my husband, but I cared about booze more, I knew I had a problem, I knew the problems my drinking alcohol was causing at home, and I didn't care.  Today it's classifed as a sickness, sometimes I find this a crock, put down the bottle, so, 0ne has a tendancy to like it, then, all the more reason, no one will quit for you, you can't make anyone quit, they have to want to. 
I don't know if it's in the blood or it's a learned behavior, I grew up watching my father drink, my mother, my grandmother, so is it genetics, or a learned coping mechanism.
 
 
 
 

I think it's a really complicated issue.  If someone is drinking because they're severely depressed, then it's not always a matter of putting down the bottle and getting on with life.  If, for physical or mental reasons, you're not able to cope with life and use alchohol or drugs to numb your senses, it's unrealistic to expect that person to just make a choice to stop.  It assumes an awful lot that probably most of us can't begin to understand.  I did a thesis paper on homelessness, mainly because my sister was at the time and I wanted to understand it better.  I didn't believe then, and still don't today, that most people living on the streets are making a choice, at least in the context of us choosing to go to work today or stay home and watch TV.  I think mental illness plays a huge role and to a certain extent, I believe it does with all addictions.  Like Billy, I had an experience very similar when I was younger, and I too decided one day that I'd had enough and stopped.  It was a fork in the road and it could've ended up very differently.  Was I stronger or smarter than others?  I don't think so.  So what makes the difference?  As I said, for some people it's more complicated than it being a matter of choice.  That doesn't mean people can't control their addictions.  I have seen way too much evidence that they can.  I also know that for some people it couldn't have happened without help though, and admitting it's an addiction and asking for help, is often the first step on the path to recovery.

My father was an alcoholic.  It was every day and a serious problem.  I'm sharing this to illustrate how large a problem it was... I can specifically recall cleaning up 340 bottles of beer from a two-week period.  That's like 24 bottles of beer a day...
My personal opinion is that chronic alcohol abuse is often about depression.  I believe Glenda's on track that it becomes a cycle and the alcohol is viewed as a facet of their life that is necessary to get through their day.  Can't go outside without clothes on, can't deal with the stress without the alcohol.  To me, drug use (and I'm not talking pot) is often more about the experience of using it.  (Like Billy said, he liked it.)  I wouldn't know, I only have experience with the alcohol aspects.

It sounds very much like your sister is depressed and talking about it is a very good place to start.  Alcohol/drug abuse to me are symptoms - of either addiction or depression or anxiety or something.  (Recreational use is different than abuse.)  There is a root to her troubles and if she is supported while you dig away the dirt to get to that root, she has a better chance of staying upright.

BTW, my father became sober 20 years ago and still views alcohol as a hook that would drag him right back in if he took a drink again.  I believe once you're in the midst of the drinking problem, it's an addiction and not a simple choice.