Until a couple of years ago i never went to the doctor. Now i have a thousand of them, and take a zillion pills a day. Some of you may remember some of these episodes. For those of you who don't, briefly:
-i was driving down the street and closed my left eye and couldn't see a thing. It was like i was wearing a black patch on my right eye. Diognosis: MS (though i have never been bothered by it other than occasional numbness and the loss of partial vision in my right eye)
-i had a heart attack three years ago. (told to stay away from meats, fats etc.)
-i was recently diagnosed (during a stress test) with atrial fibrillation (that was the episode where i was dumped out of the wheel chair into the street on the way to the ER and subsequently lied to the nurses about what i was doing in the bathroom (said i was washing my hands after using the facilities, though i was really washing my hair) as they dragged me out of the bathroom - with, unbeknownst to me, soap suds coming down the side of my head. (Put on coumadin cuz of the blood clots and told i could no longer eat salads and most green vegetables because vitamin k counter-acts coumadin).
-In trying to find cause of atrial fibrillation, i was diagnosed with severe sleep apnea (though i sleep like a log). I have to wear a darth vader mask every night (apparently has serious repercussions on heart if i don't).
-Last month, as a follow up to some blood work, i was diagnosed with diabetes. I now stick myself three times a day. Now i can't have sugars or carbohydrates. What's left you might ask (only fruits and chicken).
-Two weeks ago i was at one of these doctors and i asked about a small lump under my right arm. I was referred to another dr who said it was nothing. i asked him to cut off a skin tag so i could continue to have a beautiful body (they bargain like used car salesmen - cost me $200 out of pocket since it was a beauty thing not covered by insurance). He also did a biopsy of another growth. As i got to my car, i could feel blood running down my leg. It was the last night of Survivor. I bloodied every towel in the house, as well as every newspaper (sitting on them so i didn't get anything bloody. As soon as survivor was over i ended up in the hospital - they couldn't stop the bleeding till 8 the next morning when they finally burned it closed.
In any event, i got the results of the biopsy today and i have basal cell carcinoma. (probably means i can't eat fruit or chicken). I have to go have it out in July.
Watch out Glenda - i might start walking for MS, err, Heart Assoc, err Diabetes, err sleep apnea, err cancer - and put you out of business!! The amazing thing is i feel and look so good!