Dog Community

Squirrels In Her Knickers

Posted : 5/18/2006 3:26:54 PM

I have been doing a lot of yard work lately, my backyard needs a lot of rehab and I would like to actually use it more. Anyway, I'm digging out a couple thousand river rocks and there are tons of spiders (I'm using gloves). I am trying to be careful I don't want to get bit. My knees are sore from kneeling so I'm in a squat and I pick up a river rock the size of my kid's head and sure enough another gigantic tarantula the size of a green grape falls off the rock, lands on my shoe, and *RUNS* up my pantleg! I leaped up, started doing this sexy dance, kicking off my shoes (why oh why did I double tie them today??) And yanking off my pants. I spent so much time up in the air I coulda picked all the nuts off a tree. After its all said and done, poor spider either died of a heart attack, or me squashing him hysterically while doing the striptease. Of course I don't have a wood fence around my backyard, its *chainlink* so I had an audience to appreciate my winter insulation. A fella on the horse forum used the expression before "Squirrels in her knickers" and now I think I really know what it means. Jules

cakana

Posted : 5/18/2006 3:50:22 PM

Oh man, I'd have been right there with you and I wouldn't have cared who saw what. Actually, I'd probably have passed out when it hit my foot [

].

jensw

Posted : 5/18/2006 4:09:16 PM

LOL! I bet your neighbors got a kick out of that.

But I'm laughing at the description of a tarantula the size of a green grape as being gigantic. My tarantula (her name is Katie) is the size of a small hamster. [

]

Julie Byers

Posted : 5/18/2006 4:46:14 PM

I think I'm traumatized, and need drugs and or therapy. I'm pretty sure this was an athletic spider because it was wearing kleets as it ran like a track star up my calf. Jules

gradyupmybutt

Posted : 5/18/2006 4:49:40 PM

OMG! Jules great visuals! ~LMAO~

janobonano

Posted : 5/18/2006 5:02:23 PM

Eeewww! And I was supposed to do yard work tonight... now having second thoughts [sm=sad.gif]

Julie Byers

Posted : 5/18/2006 5:07:44 PM

Don't be skeered, just take a couple of precautions:
1. Keep a bat handy for clubbing anything that moves.
2. Work naked. That way you are stripped in advanced.
3. Drink while working or take a tranquilizer at beginning.
4. Arrange for kids to be at a relatives house so they miss it all.
5. Bribe neighbors so they don't post nekkid pix on the net.
Good Luck and enjoy.

Jules

cakana

Posted : 5/18/2006 6:05:01 PM

3. Drink while working or take a tranquilizer at beginning.

Tried that once. Sitting outside drinking wine and decided to cut some roses. I about cut off one of my fingers...ugh, not good.

Sandra TH

Posted : 5/18/2006 6:06:33 PM

I know that dance well. When I lived in Texas one of the giant roaches that lives in trees but can come in your house at night where your pipes come in ran up my leg while I was standing at the kitchen sink. Eeek- I can still feel it! I'm glad no one witnessed my dance. Your neighbors will probably never let you live that down!

pofi_pasquale

Posted : 5/18/2006 11:21:53 PM

OK - here's my karmic payback for giggling and counting myself lucky that I don't live where there are tarantulas and such....

Just now, I pulled my PJ's down from a hook in my dressing room and pulled them on with my matching slippers and kept thinking, why does it feel like something is pricking me - like these are lined with fiberglass fibers? When I finally looked inside my bottoms I realized something was crawling on me and dropped my drawers with a little hyperventilating type of shriek. It was a bee crawling around in my jams and I think I got stung about 5 times!!

Need to take a second Benadryl - I have wild reactions to mosquitoes, but not so much bee stings, but I've never been stung more than once - and yet, nearly the first thing I do (after killing the thing and changing my pjs) is look for this thread to post my "me too" story. It's a sickness, I tell you!

Julie Byers

Posted : 5/19/2006 12:33:46 AM

Jeeze, Pofi that stinks...sorry you got stung so much even if you heehawed for an hour I still wouldn't wish that on you for sharin a laff. Even when I re-read the thread I snicker at the crazy lady dancin in her polka dotted skivies. I'm afraid to ask the neighbors behind me how much they saw.
After Cakana's post I am amending my precautionaries and dropping the alcohol idea in favor of a tranq only before beginning work. (But feel free to sooth afterwards with generous amounts of chocolate, and scantily clad dancing men.
Jules

tashakota

Posted : 5/19/2006 7:16:16 AM

Man if a spider had dropped on my foot, there's no way he would have had time to crawl anywhere! I'd have been gone so fast, my shoes would still be there.

pofi_pasquale

Posted : 5/19/2006 7:38:00 AM

Thanks, Jules. Thankfully for me, my strip tease was performed in the hall away from any windows and I really had very little reaction to the stings. They felt just like tiny little pricks - more annoying than painful.

This morning I'm not even noticing them, but the one mosquito bite I got 3 days ago is itching enough to drive me to drink!!

twelvepaws

Posted : 5/19/2006 8:14:26 AM

Thanks for the morning laugh!

If I have a nightmare, it involves a spider.... [sm=uhoh.gif]

Julie Byers

Posted : 5/19/2006 9:50:13 AM

Maybe it's genetic, my mother would go berzerk when anything unauthorized would enter her apartment, one day she even ran a poor helpless little lizard down her garbage disposal...UCK! Jules