I Could Spit Nails....

Oh man, I'd be spitting nails too. I think you're wise to take over paying the bills and managing all the finances too.  Sometimes, it's best if just one person is in charge of that but it can also stink when you have to be the "guardian".  Still, it's better than worrying about where the money's going. 

I can tell you that my DH would do the same thing if given the chance.  Our solution: he has his own checking account and he gets an allowance basically.  I put the bill money into another account that he can't touch.  As far as I am concerned, he can spend the money in his account on whatever he wants and I don't care.  If he needs something like tools or any other big ticket purchase, we discuss it and make the decision to buy them together.  If he runs out of money before his next pay day, then I will give him enough to get gas to get to work or lunch but that is it.  He has to make it last. 

It has taken many many years of me training him this way for it to work, but I assure you, we don't fight about money and we have built up a nice savings account.  Oh, and the only plastic he is allowed to have is the debit card for his accounts.  No credit cards allowed!

Oh wow!  I'd be fuming as well if that happened.  I think what boneyjean said is great advice.  I would probably do the same if I were in your shoes.  
 
My aunt is exactly like your DH but at least your DH works.  My aunt is a stay at home Mom.  Nothing against stay at home Moms.  I think they're great and that their work is twice as hard as some of those who work outside the home.  Unfortunately, my aunt does neither.  She doesn't work outside the home nor does she really do much in the home.  It's only recently that she actually started doing chores because she's been criticized so much.  Her DH used to have to do laundry after coming home from work even though she was home all day.  She's a one day millionaire and my Uncle is a "yes ma'am" kind of guy.  Fortunately, she's gotten A BIT better but she still handles the money that she doesn't work for and spends like it grows on trees. 

Is this a *guy thing*?  My DH is the same way, or would be if I hadn't taken over the bills a long time ago.  Sorry you have to go through this.  I always thought the bank would cut you off way before you got that far overdrawn.[]

Joyce & Max

Ugh! I'd be ballistic!!!  [:@][:@]
 
It's definitely not a *guy thing* - mine goes the other way.  VERY frugal.  I'm more like SillySally's DH (but learned my lesson the hard way -when I was single- and remembered it!)

Sorry you have to go through this.  I always thought the bank would cut you off way before you got that far overdrawn

 
Geez, what a drag.  I did wonder, before I scrolled all the way through the thread, about the same thing Joyce did.  Maybe each bank is different.
 
I am frugal and careful almost to the point of paranoia at times.  I finally have a b/f  who handles his money the way I do mine and I really appreciate that quality in him.

I know what you are going through. I've been dealing with this for the past 2 years. I have had to take over everything. My husband thinks it ok to spend $600 on parts for a dune buggy thats been sitting in the garage for 6 months. He told me this is for the kids but I found out the kids can't even drive it because it's too big and too much power. So really it's for him. Also he takes $20 everyday for whatever. SO I took over everything. Paying bills, depositing his check. I even opened another account and have been taking $10 a day from his check and putting it in that account so he see's how much money he waste everyday. It's madning the way he blows money but yet gets mad at me cause he's broke.

I am sorry you have to go thru this. [&o] I lived thru it in a past life and can relate. Now thankfully DH and I are on the same page about finances. It isn't a guy thing though. Plenty of women who can't manage $ either. Hope you can sort this out and find a method that works for both of you. Good luck and hugs.
[sm=peace.gif]

I had a similar problem with my DH.  We are just different with our money- I save to buy something I want, he goes out and charges what he wants.  We had many, many fights over money early in our marriage.  We solved our money issues by having seperate accounts and bills that he is responsible for and bills that I am responsible for.  His pattern is to charge, charge, charge and when he owes more than he can afford, he works a second or even third job until he pays down his debt.  I never ask what he owes- I wouldn't be able to sleep at night!
 
This only works for us because he is only somewhat irresponsible... he DOES pay the bills he is responsible for, but he doesn't mind living in debt and it makes me crazy.  Keeping everything seperate has stopped the fighting.

Bummer Christina! That sucks.
 
I am not gifted with money management at times. I tend to be miserly with myself but spend like water on others like my dogs or my kids or even my husband!
 
Hubby and I have had separate checking/savings since before we were married. I have money that's mine and he has the household money. I pay a couple smaller bills and he has the rest.
 
BUT as they say...that's why I married a BANKER...lol! He is 100% steady and reliable and even too worried about always having 'enough' and he gets uncomfortable far earlier than I would when funds dip. If I were in sole charge I'd likely be in the same boat as your DH!

ORIGINAL: fuzzy_dogs_mom
I always thought the bank would cut you off way before you got that far overdrawn.[]

Joyce & Max

Actually, I thought so too. DH claims that that is why he kept using the debit card, because he thought that it wouldn't let him if he was negative. Actually at noon today he is going to call the bank and have a chat with them to see if he can have some of it forgiven. Many or the charges are like, $1.50, but then carry a $30 overdraw. I went online and looked at the account--bad idea. It seems that we have been overdrawn since the middle of April [:@]

He has agreed to hand all bill paying off to me. He is also going to pay me back for the $$$ I have had to spend on the engine and bailing us out. All of his bonus checks, $$ from selling car parts, and some $$ from his paycheck will go into my savings account. He is also paying back with house work. At $10 an hour I should be looking at $60 hours+ of cleaning....

Good for you Sally.  I hope that he learns his lesson sooner or later.  My BF doesn't have a debit card because he can't keep track of his receipts.  We have our own accounts and split the bills via spreadsheet at the end of the month.  This way we both see the bills and where stuff goes but we balance everything out between us.  If I spend money, it's my own money and I pay it off however I can.

Wow, your house sounds like my house.  My son's dad is a 'train wreck' when it comes to money.  I'm not that great with money but I am the more responsible of the two of us.  Matter of fact when he gets home today, I am going to take his debit card from him and put it thru the shredder.  He doesn't seem to understand that he is nickel and dime-ing us to death. 
Now a friend of his wants to give him a beat up old run down raggedy looking motorhome = money pit.  I told him he has to come up with a solution and actually put it into action on how to afford this dream wagon of his, otherwise NO deal NO motorhome.  Mom's house....Mom's rules  []
I think he is actually allergic to having more than ten cents in his pocket.  He breaks out in a rash or hives and bays at the moon if there is money he can get his hands on and must spend it pronto.
[:@]  The reason why a bank is more than willing to let you spend way past your balance is all the fees they are making on you when you overdraw the account.  This is one of many ways they make their money is fees, penalties, fines, charges, and anyother name you can give to renting their money which is exactly what you are doing when you overdraw.  Ask me how I know this? I'm an overdraw expert now...Aarrgghhhh    [:@][:'(]
[sm=angry.gif][sm=smack.gif]  You get the idea lol       Good luck on sorting it all out.  Jules

What an unfortunate situation.  I hope you guys can figure something out so you don't have to fight about money.  What a silly, albeit common, thing to fight about, really.