Hi all. I'm posting here because like I've said before I only really check in in NDR latley. Thank you all very very much for your sympathies. I've checked them from time to time, but couldn't bring myself to post. Even now, I'm shaking as I type and am considering just walking away. This is the most hardest thing for me
ever.
I'm trying very hard to do this between the sobs. Sara was hit by a car. Sara and I were out walking and she was on the side of the road heading back to the house when a car smacked into her. The car could have moved but didn't. The car was in Sara's way, Sara was not in her way. The woman driving continued on like nothing happend, while I screamed and held my baby. She was dead instantly, that is how hard she was hit. I wont and can't go into detail, but it was bad. I'm so angry. I'm so dam angry at that woman. How could you not see? How could you keep driving and leave me there with my poor girl?
It's been a long couple of days. I'm going on little sleep. I want to stop crying. I always thought about the future and the day I would ahve to have Sara put to sleep because of old age. I never thought she's be taken from me so soon. Too soon. It kills me. I'm lost. I loved her so much. She ment so much to me. I miss the jingle of her collar. I miss how she would come right in the bathroom and look at me like "what ya doin?" I miss her jumping in bed and laying right on me telling me to get up. I miss kissing her sweet face.
Sara was such a good dog. She listened so well. She was just wonderful with the kids. She was caring for all of the other animals we have. I've never seen a dog so gentle with baby chicks and rabbits. Sara loved them. And I felt safe with her, She would bark and her hair would stand up whenever anyone new came in our yard. and I was proud of her for that. She was watching out for us. Strangers would back away afraid and inside I was laughing because the most she would of ever done was lick you. But I didn't tell them that.
I keep thinking "what if I....?" "I should have....." I'm blaming myself for not protecting her. I'm blaming myself for walking with her. I'm blaming myself for being there at that time. This is so difficult. I'm sorry to make this so long. I just needed to get it all out.
So hug your babies tonight for me. Love them so much. (deep breath) Ok I have to go. Thank you again. And thank you sooooo much Sierra. I cried and was so happy to see Sara in the picture. My children really liked it as well. Thank you.