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Stop looking at me like that (Vent)!!

Xeph

Posted : 7/7/2007 2:32:07 AM

I went to my friend Canada (Craig)'s birthday party on Wednesday, down in Madtown (Madison, WI, aka Beertown USA >.<

. It was his 21st and while I didn't really want to go because of all the drinking, I decided I should because I didn't want him to get so bloody hammered he'd kill himself.

So I went down there, and there ended up being a total of 15 of us. We go to dinner at this lovely Mexican place (absolutely delicious pulled pork burrito I had), and it's about 8:00 when we start eating. Well, Craig's first drinks consisted of 3 frozen Margaritas, the people on the other side of me had something else too. And then Craig got his birthday shot (it was effing HUGE, and we think it was Tequila, but nobody really knows).

Without going through the entire night play by play, this is basically what happens. We start doing birthday barhopping after dinner, and on bar #3 (Wando's, home of the Fishbowl...if you're from WI you know what it is), Kevin (one of Canada's friends) looks at me and our conversation goes like this:

Kevin: Don't you want some?
Me: I don't drink.
Kevin, after a confused pause: .....you don't?
Me: No.
Kevin: You really don't drink?
Me: No, I don't drink.
Kevin, even more confused: You seriously don't drink? Why don't you drink!?
Me: Why DO you drink?

He didn't have an answer for that.

And thus, the night goes like this from there on:

Brent: You want anything?
Me: Water would be alright.
Brent: You don't like, want a beer or something?
Me: I don't drink.
Brent: ....what!?

They looked at me like I had 600 heads! I was like The Hydra I swear! Of course, at that point everybody was so blasted plastered that I may very well have had 600 heads.

Fifteen people...FIFTEEN PEOPLE and I was the ONLY ONE that didn't drink! So that put me in a rather awkward position....

#1 I was from out of town, so I knew nobody but Canada
#2 Canada was so hammered he was pretty much useless and I had to make sure he didn't end up getting himself killed
#3 .....I felt a little left out. I mean, I'm proud of myself that everybody kept offering drinks and I kept saying no, and I didn't bend as much as I wanted to be accepted into the little group, but still...being the only sober person amongst a bunch of drunkards was disconcerting.

By the end of the night Craig had consumed 22 drinks...I have no idea of WHAT, but ALL of it except for two (two beers) was hard liquor. Bars just gave him shots, but nobody ever told him what they were, so it could have been anything from Tequila to Whiskey, we've no idea.

And the Fishbowl...that thing was HUGE. The thing with the fishbowl is you have to order by color (they have 10...red, blue, green, orange, etc etc), because they're not allowed to tell you what's in it (which is a little dangerous IMO), but they'll tell you how many KINDS of liquor are in there. The red fishbowl had 5.

Craig was at least smart enough to mark on his arm how many he had, and technically he only had 21 drinks (The fishbowl was large, so he counted it as two, even though he shared).

I will admit, when we got to bar #7 and God Bless the USA came on over the radio, those who were left (like 12) did the best drunken rendition of that song ever. I think I could appreciate the hilarity more because I was sober. Directly after that, they sang a rather drunk version of Livin On A Prayer (Ok, people that are singing Bon Jovi songs while they're drunk....hysterical), and then we did Don't Stop Believin' by Journey (Which Eric, Kevin, and Kelly had sung earlier in a Karaoke Bar...again, quite drunk. You think Karaoke is funny when someone is sober? Listen to it while they're drunk...it's wild).

Anyway, if you missed it, the whole point of me venting is just because I can't stand it that people look at me like I'm crazy for not wanting to drink. What is wrong with NOT drinking!? What is wrong with NOT wanting to get hammered? What is wrong with NOT wanting to wake up in the morning with a massive headache and the horrendously huge desire to hurl?!

Two of the guys we were with admitted they had (several) alcoholics in their families. So WHY are they drinking?!

I don't drink for a lot of reasons, and one of them is I don't know my family history (adopted), and I don't want to chance it. My brother and I aren't related genetically (none of us in my family are), but he's an alcoholic (presently going through rehab and AA), and I don't want to end up like that.

Why do people have to pick, and pick, and pick? Is it so hard to accept that somebody in WI just DOESN'T DRINK!? Or am I crazy (Don't answer that)?

chelsea_b

Posted : 7/7/2007 2:56:06 AM

I don't drink either. But I don't often hang out with people who do, so I don't get crap for it often. But a few months ago, I went "home" to Maryland for my grandmother's 80th birthday, so I'm sitting there after the party with my cousin Matt and two of his friends, and one of them was going in to grab beers.

Matt: Chelsea, you want a beer?
Me: No, thanks.
Matt: You sure?
Me: Yes, I'm fine, thanks.
Matt: Just have a beer.
Me: I don't want one.
Matt: Just one.
Me: No, I really don't want one.
Matt's friend: What. You don't drink??
Me: No, I don't.
Matt's friend: So you were homeschooled [we'd discussed that earlier], and you don't drink. Do you have any social skills at all?
Me: Since when is drinking a social skill???
Matt: Please, just have a beer. For me?
Me: No Matthew! I don't want a friggin beer!
Matt: What'll it hurt??
Me: OMFG! I'm going to hurt YOU!!

haha. Uhm, yeah, I understand where you're coming from. I have many alcoholics in my family, my Dad, an aunt, grandmother, cousins... I just cannot for the life of me find a good reason to drink, so until I do...I won't be drinking. Oh, the horror! [

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stardancnminpin

Posted : 7/7/2007 3:03:09 AM

No, you are not crazy for not wanting to drink. I can completely empathize with you, as I was hounded my freshman year at Texas A & M to go get drunk at The Dixie Chicken. I was told it was my inalienable right to get hammered. I told them, it was my inalienable right to tell them where to go stick it!!! Didn't interest me then, doesn't interest me now. I can enjoy life without getting hammered, thank you very much!

Good for you for sticking up for your beliefs. And when they stare at you next time, just smile - it will bug the tar out of them![

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And if you are crazy, so am I!![

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Amy

Luvntzus

Posted : 7/7/2007 5:27:36 AM

I can relate a little to the people who try to get you to drink. My husband and I have a friend that doesn't drink. I'm so used to other people drinking that it's a little weird when he doesn't. I feel like he's missing out and I've been guilty of offering him a beer a few times. I've never hounded him about it though.

For you guys that say you can't see any good reason to drink. Of course it's a personal choice; I'll just tell you why I drink when I do. I tend to be an uptight little person and sometimes it feels really good to just not have a care in the world and have my inhibitions melt away. [

] It's a fine line between feeling a little relaxed and getting sloppy drunk too. Two drinks is my limit!

glenmar

Posted : 7/7/2007 5:53:22 AM

I had two drinks at the company Christmas party. Then I switched to "virgin" Mary's so I didn't stick out. As I recall, the liver takes 2 hours to metablize 1 drink (normal size) and that's a heck of a lot more work than I want to ask my liver to do!

I'm not opposed to drinking, I don't not drink always but kindly don't pressure me when I say no the first time. I've just started lying when folks pressure me.....I work with a bunch of heavy drinkers and I don't LIKE being sloppy drunk, so if I'm pressured, I simply say "oh (pick a body part, plenty act up) was bothering me and I had to take a pain pill earlier."

We had a going away party at Hooters of all places, for a coworker, and as we are sitting in this place, me in a business suit NOT drinking, all of a sudden said coworker shouts down to me WHY AREN'T YOU DRINKING???? I just laughed and said he was drinking enough for both of us. But, yeah, stuff like that makes a person feel that they stick out like a sore thumb!

When I was MUCH younger I could put down a fifth of vodka and still function but as I've gotten older, I just have less and less desire to drink and I'm not going to do something that I don't WANT to do. I figure if others don't like it, that's THEIR problem.

paulaedwina

Posted : 7/7/2007 6:19:07 AM

I've been lucky. I've never been much of a drinkier - I prefer wine, I hate the taste of beer, and I don't find getting drunk entertaining - and when I was a Bahai I didn't drink at all, but I never got that kind of flack.

Paula

magilacudy

Posted : 7/7/2007 6:47:53 AM

I get this crap allllll the time too. My family gets together on a regular basis. It includes parents, aunts uncles cousins, grandparents. They alllllllll like to drink. They always get on my case. "come on have a drink with us, losen up." Then it turns to "you're no fun, how can you not have a drink and relax, you have three kids?"

Drives me nutts. Drinking is what got me 2 kids in the first place.[

] I don't mind a glass of wine. One only. And I have to be iin the mood for it. All drinks make me sick to my stomach now. I think it's because I made a promise to someone very powerful many times that if he got me through this, just this last time, I would never touch a drink again.[

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Amitiel

Posted : 7/7/2007 6:59:47 AM

DH does not drink - for many reasons - mostly because he hates it & 1 drink puts in in hospital w/ pheumonia (sp)
I did the younger stupid drinking, not now 1 or maybe 2 glasses of wine if I am in my own home (only like the better stuff and that is not available @ bars) - also both our family ran shine (southern pastime, I think) "back in the day" "sell it, don't drink the profit"

paulaedwina

Posted : 7/7/2007 7:10:09 AM

1 or maybe 2 glasses of wine if I am in my own home (only like the better stuff and that is not available @ bars)

Exactly. I go to wine tastings, keep lists of wines I like. I am soooo past drinking stuff that doesn't taste good. I don't think I've ever bought a glass of wine with dinner, but I have bought sake with my sushi. I do like sake; I wish there were sake tastings so I could learn about them since there are so many types.

Paula

Amitiel

Posted : 7/7/2007 7:12:19 AM

ever tried an ice wine?

ron2

Posted : 7/7/2007 8:17:00 AM

Why do people have to pick, and pick, and pick? Is it so hard to accept that somebody in WI just DOESN'T DRINK!? Or am I crazy

Because they are the ones with the problem. You not drinking makes them feel self-conscious. You go ahead and be yourself. Not drinking is a good thing, for several reasons. A) you can drive. B), you have less physical maladies. C) you can still sing Bon Jovi on key.

smilee1079

Posted : 7/7/2007 8:42:13 AM

I don't really drink either. Most of my friends now know this. My reason, and I just say this to them is that I'd rather eat my calories than drink them. In college I drank a lot with them so there was an adjustment period for them but they got over it now

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Liesje

Posted : 7/7/2007 9:50:45 AM

Xephie, nothing wrong w/ not drinking. Well, if there is, someone needs to inform me as well. I drink in the sense that I'll keep a pack of raspberry Smirnoffs in the fridge and it'll last a few months and I might get a raspberry margarita, but I never have more than one drink at a time. For me, it has nothing to do with morals or limits or whatever...I'm just REALLY picky. I HATE beer, hate wine, hate champagne....I hate pretty much any drink that really tastes like alcohol. I'm a laptop repair technician so I'm always using alcohol swaps to clean parts, like everyday, and the thought of drinking it kinda makes me wanna gag. The only drinks I like are the really girly ones that taste more like a fruit smoothie than alcohol (in contrast, I LOVE fruit smoothies!!!). Maybe it helps to have an uncle that's an alchoholic. I'm just really not into drinking. I'm helplessly addicted to Coke and Mountain Dew, so I just order sodas instead. The only time I even get buzzed is at Chili's b/c they have the raspberry margarita and I drink it too fast, but that's like two times a year. Also, DH cannot drink b/c he is on anti-seizure medications....so, there's really no room for discussion there.

Cita

Posted : 7/7/2007 9:59:56 AM

I don't drink, either. I find when I'm in an unfamiliar crowd like that it's much easier instead of answering, "No thanks, I don't drink" to just say, "No thanks, not right now, how bout a Sprite?" (Or some drink that looks like it might be alcoholic.) If anyone hassles you and asks why you're not drinking, just say something like, "Can't drink with the meds I'm on right now" and nobody bothers you (as much).

Really annoying, ain't it? [&:]

stardog85

Posted : 7/7/2007 10:20:17 AM

Yup nondrinker here, just graduated from college, so talk about pressure to drink! Several things I've learned that keep people from looking at you quite as oddly:

1. Get one drink, nurse it all night (I carried a Smirnoff Ice around for I think 2 hours at a bar and drank about 1/2 of it once)
2. Say you hate the taste of alcohol (true true true for me) - you'd think you'd get odd looks, but they're less frequent than if you just say you don't drink.
3. Say you're the DD - works like a charm [

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4. At parties it always seems to work if you say you had a drink earlier or will have one later
5. Act completely goofy and silly, people will think you're drunk [

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I naturally get pretty giggly and goofy when everyone around me is drinking/drunk just because I know they likely won't remember it tomorrow and because drunk people are amusing most of the time. I went to a party freshman year and my roommate and the guys we were hanging out with got drunk - toward the end of the night one of the guys asked me if I wanted anything, the following is what I remember of the conversation:

me: no I'm the DD tonight
him: haven't you been drinking?
me: no, haven't had a drink all night
him: are you sure? seriously? you act like you've been drinking
me: yea I'm completely sober, don't worry about me
him: oook (and walks off)

Most hilarious conversation ever when it happen - drunk guy worried about the sober girl driving!

My fiance only drinks German beer lol - he went to Germany this year and claims their beer is actually palatable. I do worry about him a bit since both of his parents were/are serious alcoholics, but he assures me he's still nursing the 6 pack he bought last weekend, and I'm fine with that level of moderation.