Is this wrong of me?

Cheating?
Relationship is finished, whether you know it or not.

Trust me when I tell you that you cannot, absolutely cannot!, change him.  Ive spent my entire life trying to change my DH.  Even when we got married at 19, I knew I loved him but I *thought* things would change over time.  1000 talks and promises and "I will change"s later.... we are going to split up.
 
I also didnt want to hurt him... and I still dont.  Looking at him cry just about RIPS my freaking heart out of my chest.  I cannot watch that man cry without losing it... its the hardest thing Ill ever do to make this split final... but I know I need it.
 
Im not a good person to offer you advice... just figured Id share my experiences with you and maybe they can help you. 
 
Im constantly reminded by him that he will never change.  Even with little things like not saying certain things or cleaning certain things... of course he says he will but never does... and when I mention it of course its "oh, I will Im sorry".  I think the signs that you need are there you just need to read them correctly.  That took me a really long time to be able to do. 
 
To be honest with you... if you dont do this now... you will in the future.  You have the capacity to have feelings for someone else while with him, which means you need to end this.  Not that people cant have feelings for others.... but having a bit of feelings and actually considering being with them is different.  Not that your wrong, its just another little signal to you that your not 100% in this with him.  Besides, if your getting the urge to experience other men, by all means please go do it!    You dont want to be married and then wondering.... and believe me, if you get married without getting those urges out... it will cause issues with you later.
 
I guess one last thing... there are men out there that will support you.  Not that they will agree with everything, but they certainly wont tell you that the things that are important to you are silly.
 
And again, you wont change him.
 
 

I figured since so many of you had given me advice through replys or pm's I would update everyone...

 I did end up breaking up with my boyfriend in I think it was July, yes he did take it extreamly hard, but since then I have realized I definetly did the right thing, he has threatened me since and *still* sends me countless text's and is just a very vindictive person in general.

 

Also there were some things I did not share on the forum that probably would have given everyone a different opinion of the situation and the responses would have been entirely different too...

 Just thought I'd let those of you that ever wondered what happened between us know!

 

 

Raja19

he has threatened me since and *still* sends me countless text's and is just a very vindictive person in general.

YIKES!

Good for you for keeping your wits about you and noticing the early warning signs. I hope you get rid of him for good and can start moving on with your life, in pursuit of happiness and all of that good stuff.  

Thanks for the update.  I didn't comment on your situation but I was thinking about you.  I'm so glad you broke it off.  Good for you!  ((HUGS))

Thanks, and I've realized the best way to deal with it, is just to not respond when he tried to contact me. Otherwise he will say anything just to get a response out of me (good or bad)....Like this weekend he told me he needed my adress becasue the police needed to talk to me, because his family filed a lawsuit against me for hacking, privacy, slander and deframation of character charges  which I had no idea what he was even talking about...then the next day he apologizes (through a text) saying he is sorry and doesn't know how things got this way 

And even though it is wierd that someone I was with for almost 3 years, now I can not even talk to him what so ever. This made me realize things happen for a reason and it was a good thing I left him when I did because I don't want to know how a marriage would have been with him

It sounds like you have plenty of smarts. And that he can't seem to move on. And that he is emotionally immature, another good reason you guys wouldn't fit together. You are probably handling it better than I would. I'm old enough to be your father and if a guy was pestering a daughter of mine, he would be stopping that behavior very soon, one way or another.

The support of family and friends is certainly key, but bravo to you for having the strength of conviction to do what is right.

I would ask you to practice considerable caution due to the reaction from the ex BF.   These behaviors can evolve into something more dangerous like stalking.  If something happens that triggers that fight or flight response of addrenalin, contact the authorities so that a history is started.  Start your own documentation of what happens and when.  I hate to borrow trouble, but I would hate to see something get out of hand more.