Funny sayings

    • Bronze

    Funny sayings

    In Order to get the handsome prince, you have to kiss a lot of toads.

    Never forget a friend, especially those that owe you--Chinese Proverb

    If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking, and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?

    Better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot.

    Everyone is gifted. Some open the package sooner.

    Suburbs are areas where they cut down trees and then name the streets after them.

    The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.

    You can't have everything, where would you put it?

    I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?

    It may be your sole purpose in life to serve as a warning to others.

    Strangers have the best candy.

    Humpty-Dumpty was pushed!

    Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, you'll be a mile from them, and you'll have their shoes. -Jack Handy

    There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't.

    My husband and I divorced over religious reasons. He thought he was G-d and I didn't!

    Earth is the insane Asylum for the universe.

    Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

    A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

    I almost had a psychic boyfriend, but he left me before we met!

    Borrow money from pessimists-they don't expect it back!
    • Gold Top Dog
    Those were good!!
     
    "Humpty Dumpty was pushed!"    [sm=rotfl.gif]
    • Gold Top Dog
    ORIGINAL: kool
    If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking, and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?

    Suburbs are areas where they cut down trees and then name the streets after them.


    I like those two best. [sm=lol.gif]
    • Gold Top Dog
    Borrow money from pessimists... they dont expect it back.

    I'll have to remember that one.[:D]
    • Bronze
    "I had a boyfriend, but the clowns ate him."
     
    "I think... therefore I'm single."
    • Gold Top Dog
    Those are good.  We have a lot of things with quotes on them at my work.
     
    These are some of the magnets
    -Sometimes I wish someone who understands me would tell me what I mean!
    -Men aren't loyal...dogs are loyal!
    -Gardening, yoga, bubble baths, medication...and I still want to smack somebody!
    -Honey you gotta sin to be saved!
     
    And then we have these quote cards by children that are sooo cute.
    -I'm glad my mom marrie dad, because I don't think anybody else would.   Hassan age 9
    -Sometimes you just need to take a nap and get over it.  Maura age 8
    -I don't have time to figure girls out.  I have math problems.  Dontay age 10
    -Don't worry about the rain.  It's just God washing his dog.  Melanie age 6
    And my favorite
    -If you heart hurts, it's time to get a puppy.  Samantha age 10
    • Gold Top Dog
    Found a couple more of the kids quotes
    -If your dog doesn't like somebody maybe you shouldn't either.  Liam age 8
    -No one seems to understand I can only please one person a day.  Jamie age 10