Dog Community

BabyStuff: Sleep routines

Posted : 4/27/2007 5:45:54 AM

Just wondering what mums out there do about sleep and feeding routines and wondering if anyone has any tips?

Some people have recommended that he does ALLhis sleeping in his crib/cot upstairs with a black out blind at the window (we don't have one yet, I know bad me) but we're just putting him in his crib at night and letting him nap downstairs at the moment - might change in a couple of weeks when we have fewer visitors.Is that OK do you think?

He tends to have quite a big nap in the evening from around 7ish..... we wake him to feed (and bath) round 10ish but try to keep it low key. DH thinks we should be keeping him awake at this time so he will be tired and sleep through; I think that that would make him TOO tired, and I know personally how frustrating it is when you are too tired to sleep (see numerous insomniac stupid-o-clock posts!!)

When he wakes in the night, I don't go straight to him if he grumbles because he often takes himself off back to sleep. But if it sounds like its building and he's not settling I go to him. DH thinks this is spoiling him and I should let him cry; I think he will rarely cry for no reason at his age and letting him get worked up will only mean it will take longer to get him back to sleep - and while he is REALLY crying none of us or our neighbours) are getting any shuteye so whats the point?

At first I tried to be quick about getting him fed and chaned in the night thinking he would settle back down all the quicker.... but then I'd be less thorough and couldn't be confident he was being put back down fully fed, clean and winded. I do avoid eye contact and talking and I keep the lights as low as I can though....

It's all so confusing; there is so much conflicting advice out there. I thought dog training was bad but it's NOTHING on parenting!!!! So if anyone would like to share their own experiences on any of the above I'd be grateful. Also, if anyone could PM me and point me in the direction of any good mum-forums I'd appreciate it [

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PS have taken loads of pics but not on computer yet... will do as soon as [

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glenmar

Posted : 4/27/2007 5:52:43 AM

I don't know what current wisdom is since my "baby" is 27, but I always got up with them quickly, fed in very soft lighting and DID talk to and croon to them, very soothingly. I made it clear that this was SLEEP time, but they've gotta eat for goodness sakes!

I agree that you let them sleep when THEY want to sleep at least for now. You can always get them onto a schedule later. But for now, let his little body get used to being in the world and enjoy his nap time as bonus time with hubby. Or a nap yourself.

Chuffy

Posted : 4/27/2007 6:35:33 AM

Thanks! I'm not sure what "current wisdom" is either, whatever it is im sure it will change in a year or so and I'll discover I've "damaged" my child beyond repair!!

I do think the sooner he is in a routine the better, so that I don't get so tired my milk drops or DH gets antsy when he goes back to work.... But at the same time I don't want to be STRICT (which is what some people seem to be suggesting and it makes me feel like Oh no I must be a bad parent) Thing is, this phase wont last long and I got to make the most of it haven't I!!??

I also know for a fact that most of the people with all this wonderful advice don't have kids of their own.... the ones that do are more relaxed!! Weird eh.

chewbecca

Posted : 4/27/2007 6:48:21 AM

I wouldn't put a black out curtain up or make his room too dark or get him used to sleeping in silence. Run that vacuum cleaner! Get him used to noise.

He'll adjust. Habituation. I did it with my children. If you get him used to sleeping in silence, then every little sound will have him awake and ready to go.
Bright colors (bright primary colors) will help his vision develop. Talking to him and touching will develop his sensory system.

Sorry, my child growth and development class is fresh in my head. hahahaha. Man! That class has taught me A LOT of just how important the things we do contribute to the proper development of our children's brains.
And, seriously, start that baby einstein stuff early. I always blew stuff like that off, thinking it was just a marketing gimmick to get people to spend money on useless crap. But it works. Trust me.

And where are the pictures of this sweet creature???[

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boneyjean

Posted : 4/27/2007 8:58:39 AM

I am not a mother yet so I really have no advice. BUT, there is a book that my cousin and a lot of my friends who are new mother's recommend highly. It is called Baby Wise. If you look it up on Amazon you will find it. It is about getting your baby on a routine with eating and sleeping and getting them to sleep through the night. I know when my cousin first had her baby she was totally overwhelmed but once she read the book and started following the suggestions, life with a newborn was suddenly so much more manageable. She had to go back to work at 6 weeks and I think the baby had started sleeping through the night right around the same time.

Good luck and can't wait to see pics!!!

rwbeagles

Posted : 4/27/2007 9:07:04 AM

I think sleeping patterns are inherited. Both my DH and I loooove to sleep...and both our kids have always been easy sleepers. Easy to put to bed...they stay asleep...if they awaken they can fall back asleep themselves barring sickness.

Now thinking back....I'm pretty sure we did the last feeding and put the babies down at around 10pm. We went to bed too right around then. Lily was in a bassinet in the room but Elias was too big so he stayed in his crib. They both would sleep up til about 4-5am from then....sometimes I'd worry and wake them up 4-5 hours in and feed. But left on their own they'd typically sleep until 5 or so...which was really unexpected and nice.

I didn't make an effort to keep them awake during the day really...they just need a lot of sleep....they'd nap right around 3 I think....then from 6 or so on they'd be awake and we'd play and such. Lily'd be good for 3-4 hours with a feed at the boob...Elias was bigger and needed to eat every 2 hours or so...when awake.

Ditto the white noise...you MUST not get them used to everything being quiet when you put them down...they have to be able to sleep thru noises that are common to the household.

g33

Posted : 4/27/2007 10:00:53 AM

I also can't wait to see pics of little William!

I've done a lot of research on this and all the "experts" say that babies younger than 4 months (even Ferber says six months) need to be attended to each and every time they cry. They are crying for companionship and/or feeding - they just NEED you at that age. Remember they've been held constantly by you in utero and are used to a very noisy body - so too much quiet tends to be hard for them too. A friend of mine said that their baby cried so much when it was quiet, they had to run a hair dryer constantly (not a smart idea!) and as soon as it turned on, she would fall asleep. I am registering for one of those sleep sounds thingies that has different noise settings on it, and we are planning to have our babies' room near our main area of the house. I want this kid to get used to sleeping in all environments.

I read a book called "Sippy Cups are not for Chardonnay" (LOL) and she had some really great advice around sleep issues. The author had some difficulty with a sleeping baby. Personally I would not mess with success - perhaps you can time your baths and a last feeding so that when he goes down at 7pm, he's able to sleep as long as he can until he wakes up on his own, probably for food. Remember if he makes it to 3am, that's still a good solid 8 hours straight of sleep. Most likely he'll go back down after the nighttime feedings and then wake up at a "normal" time. Based on your current schedule, what time is he waking up at night after you put him down again at 10pm?

rwbeagles

Posted : 4/27/2007 10:10:24 AM

If by "attended to", it means soothed and patted on the back while staying in their crib...sure. Picked up? Nope. My DH's 2 younger siblings were raised like this and to this day now 11 and 8 they cannot stay in a bed alone...and pop up and wander the house at all hours when they happen to wake up, middle of the night or not. No thanks!

When they'd cry I go down the list...wet? hungry? cold? hot? etc etc. If there's no reason then I'd go in, pat and then leave. Mine learned to settle themselves pretty early...andisaythankya for that!

huskymom

Posted : 4/27/2007 10:16:55 AM

Kali still naps downstairs during the day. I have however found that she sleeps longer upstairs but she is almost 5 months now and is very interested in her surrounding. She started sleeping through the night around 8 weeks. The first 2 weeks or so she was up every 3 hours. I miss those middle of the night feedings when it was just me and her cuddled in the rocker. Don't wish them away.

I would go to her at the first sound since it would make feeding her easier. She wouldn't be so worked up but the time she was to latch on. Also I would change her first so she would be nice and comfy while she nursed and I could put her straight back to bed after a good burp.

Don't worry about spoiling him. Going to him when he wants/needs you will just make him know that you are there when he needs you. It helps him build confidence. There's a difference between that and never putting him down so he learns to settle and be ok on his own.

KCSO

Posted : 4/27/2007 10:40:39 AM

When they're tiny I never felt like anything was too much. DD wouldn't fall asleep unless she was held (started from day 1). She spent at least a month sleeping in her carseat. I guess it replicated the positioning she got from being held? *shrug* Whatever works. I prefer a good nights sleep to pride. [

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DS slept in our bed for quite a long time. I dont mean to launch a debate on the topic. We did it. We stopped when we wanted to. DS seems to have turned out ok (i.e. isnt still connected to me by the cord).

Really have to agree with everyone who has said to not go out of your way to provide a dark/silent room for the baby. Mine were usually just plopped down wherever at nap time. Now they both sleep through bombs.

I dont think anything you do at this time will ruin them mentally, so really just enjoy it and do what seems to work for everyone involved.

rolenta

Posted : 4/27/2007 10:41:59 AM

Isaac always naps in his crib, but I don't black-out the window, and I don't keep quiet especially for him. I just carry on like normal. I think this helps them to learn the distinction between night and day, personally. Night is when it's completely dark and silent, so it's time for a long, deep sleep.

Also, don't try to keep a baby awake. You'll just deprive him of quality sleep that he needs. Tell DH that there is NO SUCH THING as spoiling a baby that is that young! They're not old enough to understand what spoiling is, they only know when they're comfortable and when they're not. They will be much happier and cry less if they feel that you are always there for them. Also, babies aren't capable of forming a sleep schedule and sticking to it until they're older, and even then, their schedules evolve. I've only started 'forcing' Isaac to go to sleep now, and that's because I feel he is ready. I put him to bed at the same time each night and let him cry for a few minutes, no more. After a while, he just gets tired at the same time each night and sometimes he even passes out on the floor before I even get a chance to put him to bed.

At any rate, my philosophy with babies is that they can have whatever schedule they want until they're actually old enough to handle one, and at that point they usually form naturally and can be moulded gently by you.

g33

Posted : 4/27/2007 10:42:31 AM

ORIGINAL: rwbeagles

If by "attended to", it means soothed and patted on the back while staying in their crib...sure. Picked up? Nope. My DH's 2 younger siblings were raised like this and to this day now 11 and 8 they cannot stay in a bed alone...and pop up and wander the house at all hours when they happen to wake up, middle of the night or not. No thanks!

When they'd cry I go down the list...wet? hungry? cold? hot? etc etc. If there's no reason then I'd go in, pat and then leave. Mine learned to settle themselves pretty early...andisaythankya for that!

From what I have heard (books and friends)...yes this is what you should do AFTER the 4-6 month stage, or just not go in at all. Before that, they do not know why they're crying. They NEED you. After that they need to learn how to self-settle. Besides, with a five-day old baby, how do you really know what their routine is enough to be sure they aren't wet, hungry, cold, hot, sick, etc when they cry in the middle of the night?

I'm going to shut up now since I don't have kids of my own yet.

rolenta

Posted : 4/27/2007 10:44:58 AM

ORIGINAL: KCSO

When they're tiny I never felt like anything was too much. DD wouldn't fall asleep unless she was held (started from day 1). She spent at least a month sleeping in her carseat. I guess it replicated the positioning she got from being held? *shrug* Whatever works. I prefer a good nights sleep to pride. []

DS slept in our bed for quite a long time. I dont mean to launch a debate on the topic. We did it. We stopped when we wanted to. DS seems to have turned out ok (i.e. isnt still connected to me by the cord).

Really have to agree with everyone who has said to not go out of your way to provide a dark/silent room for the baby. Mine were usually just plopped down wherever at nap time. Now they both sleep through bombs.

I dont think anything you do at this time will ruin them mentally, so really just enjoy it and do what seems to work for everyone involved.

I let Isaac sleep in bed with me for a long time. It was the easiest way for both of us because I would just hold him and we could both fall asleep rather than me putting him to sleep and then risk him waking up when I put him down and then me trying to fall asleep after that. I have chronic insomnia, so I only got about 3 hours of sleep a night the first few months as it was!

Anyway, he also liked his carseat. I didn't mind! It was convenient to have him in the carseat next to the bed. It was easy to rock, accessible, and it worked, so I went with it!

Mine now sleeps very well in a crib. He goes to sleep easily and everything's fine.

rwbeagles

Posted : 4/27/2007 10:52:43 AM

All the more reason I'm glad mine slept on their own thru the night within a couple of weeks of coming home, and are great sleepers to this day. Genetics or the method of not jumping every time they cry....I could care less, so long as I can lie down and know my 6 and 3 y/o's aren't going to be wandering the house and asking for a million things, and are getting their sleep...lol.

Important too, is that the parent get the sleep they need...many overlook that...and it IMO is more important than the child's schedule. If you are tired and exhausted you are going to make mistakes you wouldn't otherwise, not to mention get sick easier..and that's without the added worry of PPD, if you happen to be one that has trouble with that.

keedokes

Posted : 4/27/2007 10:54:36 AM

Where did your guys' kids come from? The Poppet did not sleep through the night until she was 8-10 months old. Holy cow, did we have some doozies.

As for newborns and crying: I'm with g33...when a baby is really young, two months old and younger, pick them up when they cry and let them know you're there. This didn't lead to the Poppet's sleeping habits...in fact picking her up helped because she was extremely colicky. The Poppet's sleeping habits likely formed from loud neighbors and her own personality. Every child is different, and while we were concerned with her sleep patterns (mostly because I wasn't getting any sleep) we talked to the doctor and several other people in the medical field and they all told us it wasn't a problem. She was how she was and some kids don't sleep through the night until they're a year.

At 5 days old you're not going to really get a feel of whether or not he's going to sleep through the night. Just love on him and the rest will work itself out later.

Plus, check this out: [linkthis[/link]>http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunstan_Baby_Language]this[/link] is supposed to work really well for understanding what your kiddo needs...I'm definitely buying into it for awhile with the second kiddo. We'll see how it works out.