A womans guide to dealing with men.

    • Gold Top Dog
    Ed,
    I have found that timely marital encounters, say during the second OT period of an NHL playoff game can in fact alter the outcome of said game for the better.
    • Gold Top Dog
    I have found that timely marital encounters, say during the second OT period of an NHL playoff game can in fact alter the outcome of said game for the better.

     
    Oh god, don't let my DH hear you Gina!  If he thought that was the case I would end up spending the entire playoffs on my back [:D] and I am just not up to that right now. 
    • Gold Top Dog
    hard to watch the TV on your back you're right. There's a song about how to "multitask" properly..."The Discovery Channel Song" or somesuch...lmao.
    • Gold Top Dog
    ORIGINAL: glenmar

    Hmmmmmm, all I can say is that I am soooo glad that I have what seems to be an atypical hubby!!



    me too, BF in my case. Here's his response to this thread [:D]:

    "Actually I don#%92t like this kind of discourse – it tends to promote stereotypes. But I will digress. A couple of my favorites are:

    1. When you ask a guy what he#%92s thinking and he says “nothing” – he really means he#%92s not thinking of anything!
    2. Men tend to like to problem-solve by nature – if there#%92s a problem to be solved, a man#%92s ability to listen to detail goes way up.
    3. Men tend to be rational, not emotional. Rational thought nukes emotional stress.
    4. Farting and burping are important and should never be frowned upon.

    The second list below is horrible [his response to dumdog's list, lol, dumdog, I thought your list was funnier than he did]:

    1. I know several guys who bake.
    2. Women don#%92t hover around me when I#%92m on the phone – I#%92ve never known one that did.
    3. Women don#%92t ask for that many more details than men. And men are not auto mechanics by gender-default.
    4. Only telling you [that someone called] to let you know they#%92re “still alive”? Is this guy cold or what?
    5. I#%92ve never been hired out to fix other people#%92s stuff – few men I know have.
    6. This guy has a problem with killing insects?
    7. What#%92s wrong with liking each other#%92s friends?
    8 Women#%92s fantasies aren#%92t usually boring.
    9. Cars again?
    10. More cars ... what#%92s with the fixation on cars? Not all men are into cars – in fact in my circle of friends and biz associates (VP, CEOs, CTOs, etc.) I don#%92t know any of them that are into cars. Is this guy a mechanic or something?
    11. Absurd. [sleeping on side of bed by door]
    12. Right on – but I think most women agree with this. [your time, my time and our time.]
    13. A fair point, but men will use the toilet seat in an up or down position depending on the need. Women only need it down. So women get the nudge here.
    14. Right on – don#%92t get worked up about coupons.
    15. Everybody “looks”; most people don#%92t like the same things they did when they were 18. Yikes."
    • Gold Top Dog
    ORIGINAL: DumDog

    13. Its just as easy for you to put the toilet seat down as it is for me to put it up. i dont want to pee on it at five am anymore than you want to fall in at five am.


     
    I would have to disagree with this one, actually WE the guys have to fight AGAINST gravity if to put the seat up and we have to pee, girls have the HELP of gravity to put the seat down [:D]
    • Gold Top Dog
    If he thought that was the case I would end up spending the entire playoffs on my back

    Only your back!?
     
    *Roflmao*
     
    I'm so sorry, I couldn't help myself....
    • Gold Top Dog
    Xephy...Down in my dungeon Xephy!
    • Gold Top Dog
    Let's see how mcuh of this I can blow out of the water!

    DH cleans the bathrooms in our house.  He was a janitor in college and does a darned good job!

    I don't bake any more--I would eat all the sugary stuff  I can't have--DH doesn't either.


    Right now the DSs mow the lawn.  If I had had a DD, she would be mowing too.  I have mowed my share for YEARS (no sons in my house when I was growing up).

    DH is a mechanic so he only works on cars during the week.  No weekend, shade tree mechanic here! He doesn't work on friend's or relative's cars unless they are bringing it to the shop.  Heck, at home, I have more tools than HE does!

    DH doesn't like any sports except Champ cars so I don't have ANY of those problems!  The computer, OTOH is fondly known as "Della" (it's a Dell), the Other Woman.



    • Gold Top Dog
    Xephy...Down in my dungeon Xephy!

    Uh oh...I think I'm in trouble[:D]
    • Gold Top Dog
    The computer, OTOH is fondly known as "Della" (it's a Dell), the Other Woman.

     
    I can relate to that!
     
    Also the phone thing..... when I'm on it he wants to tell me something important or join in.  When he's on it... well OBVIOUSLY I can't talk now!! Duh!  Women!
     
    And the "time thing" - I find that men (must be like toddlers if Supernanny is right) need warnings in the run up to something needing to be done... No good asking "now" or "in a minute", they need to wean off what they are doing and work up to it gradual.
     
    The loo seat.... it's always down in our house.
    Bugs.... I have never asked him to squish one.
    Cars..... he is not obsessed by them nor is he hired out as a mechanic.  He wdnt be a gd one anyway.
    Friends... we like each others friends.  Some of them are mutual, its how we met. Best way IMO.
    Sex......... Women SHOULD initiate it more.  I'm going to regret saying that aren't I....
    • Gold Top Dog
    Something to add. Never doubt that a man is thinking about sex. If you ask him if he is thinking about and he says no, he is LYING. Lying to put you at ease so that you will be available later. And it's important to a man, always. Women can go for years without sex and be quite happy about it. Some say this is because of the different roles of childbirth in biology. So, when you've decided not have sex anymore, don't get huffy when he picks up a hobby like golf, etc. He's just find a way to channel that energy in a non-injurious manner. The sex drive in both genders is based on testosterone levels. Women's levels simply drop off and it's a a fact of life.
     
    Don't ask if he thinks another woman is attractive. It is an unfair question. If he says yes, you won't let him forget it. If he says no or shows no interest, you may feel he's not "being honest." Well, no, he's being smart. Leave it be.
     
    Men are easy. Just scratch us behind the ear and give a treat once in a while and we will move mountains for you. Heck, we'll even get out of bed and go to work.
     
    • Gold Top Dog
    DH cleans the bathrooms in our house. He was a janitor in college and does a darned good job!

     
     
    lorib, wow, aren't you the lucky one.[;)]
     
    I have asked DH to clean the bathroom, he says he is confused on what cleaner and how much, so I just do it myself.......I know he acts stupid on purpose.....[8|]
    • Gold Top Dog

    ORIGINAL: DumDog

    i'm gonna speak for my husband here:

    1. I dont bake. ever. so dont ask.

    2. Do not hover around me asking questions when i am on the phone. i'll tell you who it is and what they said after we've hung up.

    3. do not expect me to remember every detail of every conversation. your mom/my mom called. i dont know what she wanted because it didnt involve cars.

    4. If i run into my best friend/my dad/your dad dont ask what we talked about because we wont remember because it wasnt important anyway. i was only telling you i ran into them to let you know they were still alive.

    6. Its just a spider... YOU smoosh it with YOUR shoe. Why should i be the one to walk around on bug guts all day?


    These are the exact complaints I have about my husband! He always wants to know exactly what everyone said and he's afraid of spiders.
    • Gold Top Dog
    This thread is cracking me up….[sm=rofl.gif]
     
    I guess I am really lucky with my DH:[:)]
     
     I do most the cooking, he cleans the kitchen afterward
     
    We both do vacuuming
     
    I scrub the kitchen, he scrubs the bathrooms
     
    We both do our own laundry
     
    If I don#%92t wanna cook, then no problem, he will make himself a sandwich
     
    We both like each others friends
     
    He NEVER, EVER.. not once in 12 years has kept the toilet seat up…
     
    He is mechanically inclined so he fixes everything that breaks in the house…
     
    I guess he is a keeper huh?[:)]
    • Gold Top Dog
    ORIGINAL: rwbeagles

    Ed,
    I have found that timely marital encounters, say during the second OT period of an NHL playoff game can in fact alter the outcome of said game for the better.

     
    Oh no, the playoffs are sacred.  Though if you were still up for the 4th OT of the Caps/Pens game in '96-97 you were rooting for the wrong team!