Advice Needed?

Dear P,

I definitely do not advocate the advice given by c-head ((stern look given to c-head)

Ladies looking for a REAL man should not be willing to settle for anyone who wants to partake in such an unbecoming "sport". All those men, running around in tight clothes, running and demonstrating athletic prowess, swinging large, wooden phalluses... and don't get me started on the ball euphamisims {{gasp}} I can smell the sweet stench of sweat from here.

The place a nice lady meets a good man is on eharmony.com ... surely you've seen the commercials, and it looks to me like all those people are happy.

As far as men liking "well-endowed frontal lobes"... it's true. But if you haven't considered it before, consider it now: push-up bras. You'll land youself a man, yet!

Best wishes,

B-Head

Dear All,

Foul Balls are just that. Foul. Blow the whistle, and get out. Four = an out.

Four Foul Balls? = STD.

Best wishes,

B-Head

As far as men liking "well-endowed frontal lobes"... it's true. But if you haven't considered it before, consider it now: push-up bras. You'll land youself a man, yet!

Well!  No wonder I was confused!!  I thought they were talking about big brains!!
I think you have solved my problem, then!  I am off to buy a Wonder Bra...
 
Many thanks for your precious advice!
P
PS - I'm not sure I qualify as a "nice lady", so I think I'll avoid eharmony for now.  Will try the bra, though.  Thx again!!

ORIGINAL: miranadobe

Knowing nothing of the game, and therefore which games the Sox would be inclined to win,which team would you suggest? 

 
this is actually far more complicated than it sounds.  i base my predictions on several things- team played, pitching rotation and injuries to said pitchers, # of games won or lost in a row recently- both by the team and by that particular pitcher, batting averages for the Big Boys (on both teams), and a general "feeling".
(hold on while i laugh at my nerdliness[sm=rofl.gif])
 
safe bets for wins are most national league teams- they can never hit, and fenway seems especially baffling to them, or teams OUTSIDE of the AL east (the sox division).... go for the angels (AL, but we seem to wreck them), and maybe the rangers, possibly the orioles if it's late in the season...  stay away from the teams deemed as "crappy"- devil rays, royals- the sox have a way of falling to the weakest teams.  for a little tension, you could try a game against the blue jays, who are very strong this year, perhaps stronger than the sox AND the yankees.
 
as far as the outrageous ticket prices go, you CAN get into a sox game for much less if you try and buy tickets directly from fenway at redsox.com.  i wouldn't recommend sites like stub hub because they capitalize on the zeal and sell tickets for far more than their market value, which drives up the market value[:@]...
 
and yes, if you plan to be a "lifer", you need a man with a fat wallet.  to meet this man, i recommend that you buy a shirt in a child's size[] that says some relic's name:  williams, fiske, rice, pesky, boggs.. something like that.  that way you don't look like such a newbie as if you get a Dice-K shirt.  the key here is CHILD SIZED... and cut it up so it's all sexy and off the shoulder... shell out a medium amount of money for decent seats, then wander around and choose cute boys. 
 
for far less money, go to the fenway neighborhood and watch the game from a local bar... still in your child's tee
 
whew... look at me!  i'm such a nerd!
 
regretfully sox-core,
 
c-head 

You lost me at:

i base my predictions on several things- team played, pitching rotation and injuries to said pitchers, # of games won

blah blah blah..
 
I'm goin' with the push up bra and dim-witted attitude - I've seen that work pretty well...
P
 
(I'll PM you separately to thank you for the info above, tho!)

 ush up bra, dim-witted attitude AND a child's tee shirt!!!! push up bras are useless without a vehicle to display the goods!

ORIGINAL: badrap

 ush up bra, dim-witted attitude AND a child's tee shirt!!!! push up bras are useless without a vehicle to display the goods!

 
With all of this knowledge that has been bestowed upon us, I have to ask.  Why wear a shirt at all.  Wouldn't it be easier to go topless?

push up bra, dim-witted attitude AND a child's tee shirt!!!! push up bras are useless without a vehicle to display the goods!

 
PERFECT!!!  See, this "three-headed advice" thing really works - among you, a good solution arose!!  I will recommend you to all my friends!!

Wouldn't it be easier to go topless?

Well, despite my attempt to use the field as a mating ritual site, it's still a family venue and must be regarded with some amount of propriety.  I mean, we're not talking about the NBA here...

Wait right here, Ma'am!

My mama always told me "Why buy the cow if the milk is free?" You go around showing your "milk" (ahem) ... people may not buy.

I say keep your shirt on.. and through some pants on while you're at it. .. perhaps a trench coat. And use a healthy dose of NILIF.

And remember:

Nothing In Life Is Free.

Best wishes,
B-Head

Our pleasure, Sugar []

We're here to serve and protect.

Best Wishes,

B-Head

ORIGINAL: Sera_J
I say keep your shirt on.. and through some pants on while you're at it. .. perhaps a trench coat. And use a healthy dose of NILIF.

 
Good advice... Put some pants on
 

there is something a bit ironic about B-head telling someone to "put pants on"....[sm=devil.gif]

ORIGINAL: badrap
there is something a bit ironic about B-head telling someone to "put pants on"....[sm=devil.gif]

 
Isn't it ironic, don't ya think.........

Dear 3 Heads,
 
I need more advice. This of which is of a delicate manner. I am afraid that I may have played “ball” with a set of “foul balls”. I currently have a very itchy rash, shall I say south of the border. I am very confident that both B Head & C Head have had this exact rash before, therefore they will be knowledgeable on the treatment of said rash. I am giving A Head the benefit of the doubt, but if her indiscriminate butt pinching antics are any indication, I am sure that she too has had this current rash. Please advise on what type of medication was used to clear this rash, as I do not want to burden my physician with this problem.
 
Thank you,
Itchy Rash Down South