Advice Needed?

Dear three-headed advice expert,

I love my boyfriend, but he is strangely reluctant to get dressed up. Sometimes I want to go to a nice restaurant with him, but have to argue with him to get him to wear something nice! What should I do?

Sincerely,

Don't Annoy People Preening for Elegant Restaurnts

Dear Annoy,

Always remember one thing. Most men would rather take off a nice suit than put one on. This should give you a bargaining tool. []

Good Luck!

Sincerely,
One Of The Heads

Dear 3 Heads,

What is the proper ettiqute for blowing your nose at the dinner table. About twice a year I get sinus infections, and I have to blow my nose, literaly, every 3 minutes. And it isn't petite, quiet nose blowing. If I'm with my family (in a resturant) is it alright to blow my nose at the table (while leaning away, excusing myself, and sanitizing my hands)? Or should I always excuse myself to the restroom?

Sincerely,
Don't Want to Gross You Out

Dear Heads,
 
One of my co-workers regularly eats what we call "street meet" for lunch.  This is food purchased from a street cart, which he then brings back to his desk to eat.  The problem is that the food smells like fresh vomit and I sit within arms length distance to him.  I happen to be one of those people with acute olfactory function and the smell of this food literally makes me sick.  I have learned to leave my desk while he is eating, which works out fine - except he leaves the container in his garbage can for the remainder of the day.   Is there a tactful, sensitive way for me to approach this issue? 
WWT3HD?
 
Pungently challenged,
 
P U

Dear Gross,

I find it best to answer your question by putting myself in the shoes of one of your dinner companions. It seems to me that I would rather you simply lean away than excuse yourself every 3 minutes and thus delay the reason everyone goes out to dinner - dessert. However, it is important that you sanitize your hands, as you suggest, and I would respectfully offer one piece of information:

Hand sanitizer or not, if you use one of your filthy, snot covered hands to steal even a single one of my french fries, I will puke on your steak.

Bon Appetit!

Sincerely,

A. Head

Dear Challenged,

As someone who is also in possession of a heightened sense of smell, I feel your pain. The key here, I feel, is to point out the issue whilst distracting the attention from yourself. Go to work and wait until after he has eaten his lunch. This will cause some suffering on your part but remember the prize you have your eyes on. Once the container has been in the garbage can for say, an hour, find another colleague (NOT HIM!) close by and whisper "do you smell that?" and enlist them in the hunt to find The Bog Of Eternal Stench that is hidden somewhere in your office. Rope other colleagues in as needed, and go to the man in question after speaking to them, but NOT last, or he may feel like you knew he was the target all along. Finally, pretend to "discover" the source of this paint-peeling funk, making sure you are within earshot of the Street Meat Lover. Then casually suggest to those around you that maybe any containers that once held food should be wrapped up before being put in the trash.

If that doesn't shame him, the gloves come off. Make him think you believe it's HIM that smells, and leave him a "present" on his desk - of some deodorant.

Wishing you happy smells from now on!

Sincerely,

A. Head

Dear 3 Headed Monster, * I mean advice giver,
 
I need advice on my poor, poor dog. I believe that my dog has a serious drinking problem. I am very concerned about him. Recently, he has taken to wearing odd things for no apparent reason. He steals my beer instead of bringing it to me. He drinks way to much, & then retires to the bedroom for the night, always wearing a “come hither” smile. Sometimes, he gets way to kinky for me to handle.
 
For a photo journal of his recent behavior please refer to
[linkhttp://forum.dog.com/asp/tm.asp?m=32391]http://forum.dog.com/asp/tm.asp?m=32391[/link]
 
Any help or advice would be greatly appreciated, as I am beginning to fear for my safety.
 
Worried Mother of a Alcoholic Doberman in Texas

Dear Worried Mother,

I have to shake my head. As I see this problem all too frequently these days, our dogs are coming from a generation of alcohol abusers. It's in all the obedience schools and I'm hearing reports of dogs coming home with beer on their breath after agility rallies. Such a shame.

I'm not going to broach what YOU may have done to create this problem, because that's in the past. Right now we have to deal with getting him, and you, through this. I only see one option. Intervention.

You need to find a qualified counsellor in your area to mediate and surround him with friends and families. Give him the ultimatum. Either BEER or... he has to move on, and NO rescue groups will take him while he's on the juice. He'll have to make the decision... hopefully your love and supprt will be enough to help him through this.

Regarding the "come hither" smile.. I think you may want to talk to a Family Counsellor regarding that, as a mother-son relationship should never enter the bedroom.

All I can do is wish you the best... you have a hard road ahead of you. Just remember what you're fight for, give this handsome, strapping boy a chance.

Best wishes,

B-Head

Edited to add the correct link for Worried Mother: http://forum.dog.com/asp/tm.asp?m=323912

Dear B Head,
 
Thanks for your take on this stressful problem.  However, I think that I would like advice from A & C heads as well,  just to make sure that you are on the right track.  I believe that he may need more serious help.  Currently he is smiling at one of the dachshunds & offering to start a new hybrid with her.  Anyone want a Dobershund? 
 
Thank you,
Worried Mom

Dear Worried,

I think B. Head is on the right track here, however unlike her I AM concerned about the example you may be leading. It could be hard to give him a wake up call on this issue when your own wake-up of choice is cornflakes and beer. Unfortunately, I fear you may have to cut down on your own consumption as you help him through this difficult time. This may be hard, but will be a good growth experience for you both. As for the odd clothing, in your shoes I might be grateful that thus far he has not elected to have his clothes painted on.

All that being said I appreciate this is a tough situation and you want only the best for him. The best, in this case, might be a boot camp for unruly pups of his age.

Wishing you an easy time with the booze hound,

A. Head

Dear Worried Mother,
 
i didn't realize that this behavior was a problem!  i shall have to re-evaluate my dog's activites now.... that is when i finally sober up myself!
 
best drunken regards,
 
c-head

Head A- While I admit that both the dog & I may need to lay off the beer for a while.  I am not sure that is going to be feasible for me & that darn dog is just to smart for his own good.  I fear that he will open the fridge & help himself.  I have had to hide my purse so that he cannot find my cash/checkbook/or plastic.  I am very confident that if he had access to the money he would have a Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader's Uniform painted on.[8|]  (That boy ain't right)  For the record, I have gradueated from cornflakes & beer to Kashi & Vodka.  []
 
Head B-  Could you please recomend a qualified counsellor for both of these problems.  **If nobody else can help him, are you willing to take on a challenge?[]
 
Head C-  Finally a person who understands my point of view.  If you attempt to sober up so will I!!!
 
Thank you all for your caring advice.  I'm sure that I will have more questions for you later.

[sm=rotfl.gif][sm=rotfl.gif][sm=rotfl.gif]

For the record, I have graduated from cornflakes & beer to Kashi & Vodka.

[sm=rotfl.gif]Goin' top-shelf, are we?