Funny things you have seen someone say in their sleep

These were really good!!  Nobody in my family does any of this.  I have a co-worker, though, who literally wakes up every night and MUST "hit the button", or else the world will end.  She's completely convinced of it in this dream state.  If I recall, she startled her friends on an overnight trip with her, and argued with them, wrestling to get to it, etc.  At one point, in place of the button to push, she had to "take the medicine".  She kept a bottle next to her bed so that she could allow her dreaming self to play out the scenario and safely go back to sleep.  Can you imagine that kind of panic every night?!?!  No thanks!  Seems sympomatic of stress-coping mechanisms.

My wife talks in her sleep all the time.  She speaks Spanish sometimes.  She;s a teacher, so sometime she's yelling at kids or giving a lecture.  You never know what she'll say

*sings softly* I hear the secrets that you keep (doo doo do do, do doo) when you're talkin in your sleep!
 
My ex sleep walked all the time...and he ALWAYS woke me up!  He had to SHAKE me awake EVERY time.  One that really sticks out to me:

Mike: Stop, or I'll shoot you!
Me, not amused: Go back to sleep Mike
Mike: Yeah, I was just kidding!
 
Or, because of his new job, he'd shake me awake asking for my account number.  I got wise and I just gave him a random 9 digits.  I'd count out th numbers on my fingers as I said them, and bam, two seconds later, back to sleep.
 
When that first started, I didn't know what to do, so I just kept saying "go back to SLEEP!  GO TO SLEEP!" and all he'd say is "Ma'am, I can't help you if you won't give me your account number." 
 
I don't miss that shiz.

Some of these are too funny!  My hubby talks so much in his sleep.  Most times I cannot understand him.  Ohh he also calls the dogs in his sleep.  The one thing that was said, that sticks out the most, was when he rolled over and looked at me one night and called me a "cracker ass bitch"  I just laid there like uumm okay I love you too!

I talk in my sleep.  I have been told that if you really want a straight answer from me, wait until I fall asleep & then ask.  Apparently, I am brutally honest when I am sleeping. 

My DH does all of the above as well.  We have a classic of his: one night twnety some odd years ago, he asked me for the HOT WATER CREAM.  God knows what that stuff is, but we now use it as one of our standard weidro answers.

One night we were watching MTV that had a video with a train on it and we were also watching the train that was across the river from our old house.  Well, I was having a heck of a time falling asleep when all of the sudden, he sits up in bed and nearly knocks me out fo it, yelling, "Watch out for the train!" I said, "WHAT train?" He said, "The one coming downt he middle of the bed!" At this poitn I was laughing hystercally, but was super annoyed too since I was STILL not asleep.

He also gets nasty in his sleep.  During the day, he is very polite to everyone, but when he's asleep, watch out! He tells people off, yells at them, etc.

I also have to wake him up when he gets paralyzed.  How did he ever sleep before me? LOL

All these posts are so funny!  My sister and I shared our entire childhood.  I'm a very light sleeper, and my sister talked in her sleep.  Sometimes I'd talk back to keep her going.  Once she suddenly said, "Did you see that man?"  I said, "What man?"  She said with great exasperation, "The man with the hot dogs!"  Another time she was mumbling, and when I asked her what she said, she muttered, "Must be hot fudge sundaes."  Apparently, she was hungry a lot of nights!
 
My BF in college wasn't one to talk in his sleep, but during his senior year when he totally stressed out about getting a job and going on a zillion interviews, I woke up to hear him muttering and stirring around.  I looked over at him, and he was lying on his back with his arm & hand outstretched, clearly in the shaking hands motion.  Guess he was meeting someone for a job interview!
 
My husband does this weird thing where he makes this creepy ghost noise when he's having a spooky dream.  I'll wake up to hear this "ooooooo . . . . oooooo" sound, kind of high pitched like a ghost sound.  It's REALLY creepy.  I usually try to gently wake him by moving his pillow or the blankets.  If he wakes up, he'll tell me he was having a dream where he was hiding from an attacker or investigating a deserted house or something scary like that.  What's really funny is he's a former Marine who isn't afraid of anything and wouldn't be caught dead acting spooked out by something, so to hear him making the girly ghost noise is pretty weird!

My husband and I, when we were still dating, took a cross-country road-trip, and he was obviously not getting enough sleep.  When I was driving and he was sleeping in the passenger seat he would randomly yell out things, like "Red ENGLAND!"  and "sure, I'll get you mustard!"  (I hate mustard, so I started arguing with him on that one.  We kept the conversation going for quite awhile while he insisted I needed to add mustard)  I also get the occassional outbursts at night, which just freak me out because I'm suddenly woken up, but he's gotten a lot better.

The most recent sleepwalking incident (which he hasn't done since he was a kid, so it was unexpected about two months ago) was he got up to go to the bathroom, remembers finishing and flushing, and he woke up later on sitting on the floor in my daughter's room, re-arranging the things he could reach from where he was sitting.  When I got up in the morning to go get her from her crib, he had already gone to work, and I couldn't figure out why the heck her big upholstered rocking chair and bookshelf were halfway across the floor.  He didn't know how long he had been sitting there, and he didn't realize where he was when he woke up.  I'm just glad he didn't call out for anyone because the Poppet would probably have flipped out and started screaming.  She's at that stage where sometimes the dark can be scary.  (She just turned two).

When I was little, I used to sleep walk almost every night.  I finally grew out of it, but I talk in my sleep.  I always hated being the first to fall asleep at a slumber party because I was so afraid I would say something in my sleep.  I thought the sleep walking was over, until a few weeks ago.  I fell asleep at about 12:30.  For some reason, I woke up at 2am and didn't feel Rose right next to me like usual, so I called for her, thinking she was under the bed.  Well, she wouldn't come after I kept calling, so I got up to look under the bed to make sure she was ok.  She wasn't there.  I got scared and started looking for her.  My bedroom door was closed like usual and she wasn't in the room.  I know she was next to me when I fell asleep.  So, I left my bedroom and couldn't find her anywhere!  The bathroom door was closed tight, so I didn't think she could be in there...well, she was.  I must have gotten up in my sleep and shut her in there.  I don't remember getting up, but I did and I shut poor Rose in there!
Some times I will wake up with my head at the foot of my bed or sideways.  One time I woke up soaking wet and realized that I had tried to drink a bottle of water while I was sleeping and dumped it all over myself.  I've also answered the phone in my sleep and don't remember it at all.  I woke up with my cell phone open next to me and couldn't figure out why.  I checked my last calls and I guess I answered one from a friend.  I called her and asked if I talked to her and she said "yeah, when I asked if I woke you up, you said no.  And, that you would call me back tomorrow."  I don't remember that at all!

Apparently I have started sleep talking in my sleep ...I was over at my Bf's house the other day and took a nap and he told me I said
 
"Where's the massage oil? Go to Target and get some then come back and give me the rest of the covers"
hahaha I have NO idea where the heck this came from!! I have never even used massage oil in my life!! And he does hog the covers..so thats where that came from..
 
 
My sister also talks in her sleep. She will keep a whole conversation going too.

My freshman year roommate liked to get me to talk in my sleep. I had mono freshman year, so I slept a LOT. She'd come back in the evening and ask, "Hey, are you asleep?" and, while sleeping, I would answer, "Nope!" so she'd go on and on talking about her day, her latest boy obsessions, etc. Then she'd start asking me questions, which I'd respond to rather nonsensically. "Guess who I saw in the student center!" "My mom? [who was on the other coast at that moment]" "Um... no. Guy X! Do you think I have a chance with him?" "Maybe with a little extra ketchup."

I never remembered these conversations when I woke up, but occasionally she'd bring in extra witnesses, so they must have actually happened!

Edit to say... I hope its ok to say this...
 
I have umm.... orgasms[]  in my sleep almost every night.  Its amazing to me how that can happen with nothing touching anything.  DH used to think I was having a bad dream and wake me up and I would tell him what it was.  Its literally like almost every night.  The things in my dream that are causing it are exremely strange... and it usually happens very quickly... I wake up for it every time though, lol... because when it starts it wakes me up. 

DH will mumble things in his sleep... if I try to get more out of him he wakes up.

When Im just falling asleep sometimes right in that entering deep sleep time I will dream that I suddenly fell off of something (its always more of a losing my footing) and I will jolt awake.  I dont say anything but it snaps me out of the sleep like nothing could lol.

My dreams are extremely realistic and a lot of times I know that Im dreaming.  Theyre very strange. 

The most recent I guess I can remember is right after I started playing World of Warcraft... DH woke me up (he doesnt like when I move or talk in my sleep - he thinks Im having bad dreams... he doesnt like when the dogs do it either although I think its cute hes worried about them) to tell me this ... 

I said "What city are we in?" and hes woken up by this and says "What?"  and I repeat "What city are we in?"  He says "What city are you talking about?"  and I said "The one we're in! I need the trainer."   and then he woke me up.

My ex in college once said "That's my birthday"  I was a little stunned and asked "when?" 
"May23" 
"Really mines May 29" 
"Cool"
It cracked me up for awhile after that.  I've never hears someone talk in their sleep.
 
BF now moans a lot in his sleep. 
 
loveukaykay  I get that falling feeling too.  I don't ever see me drop, but I do feel like there's nothing under me and I jump.  It makes me almost as mad as hiccups and sneezing do.

ORIGINAL: Cita

I had a creepy one when I was younger... a friend of mine was sleeping over, and I think we were either sharing a bed or sleeping near each other on the floor. In the middle of the night she bolted upright, opened here eyes as wide as they would go, and cried out in a deep and ominous voice, "You don't belong here. Go back to where you came from." Then she fell back down and proceeded to sleep for several minutes before closing her eyes again.

 Ever wonder if the old spirit that lived in your house was channeling through your friend? lol

Ya - eww[]