Embarrassing Moments

ORIGINAL: DumDog

anyone know who Billy Conolly is?

 
Ah yes, I have that whole bit on tape! []
 
Aside from the "wanking" theories, his comments of being on a plane (piloted by Nigel Corothers!) sitting next to the goose and fresh spring onions filled man who was curled up like a squirrel, arse pointing skywards, filling the cabin with a stench which peeled the paint and would give you cancer if you inhaled...was totally priceless and had me rolling on the floor!
 
Thanks for the scratch and sniff memories! []

I can not use a public bathroom, other than to pee and even then I don't like it. I also can not pee with somone in the room, or outside the door. Don't know why, I'm just screwy like that.
 
So we go camping last year and it's been 4 days without a poop. We decide to go into a town and do a little shopping. While driving, it hits me and it's bad. I'm howling while Dh and my sister laugh thier butts off. I am begging for us to run into a store somewhere. Finally a Tim Hortons. My sister comes in with me cause she had to pee. I'm sitting there and she is now peeking at me through the stall doors laughing, so hard because I'm seriously wimpering.  So I go, but we still laugh about it to this day.
You know the handle bars next to the toilet to help you get up? We now call those the Holy $h*! bars. Because it was a day where you had to hold on to something.[8D]

Angel, that story of your hairdresser's friend brought tears to my eyes I was laughing soooo hard.[sm=rotfl.gif]
 
When I was in boot camp, we did PT every morning about an hour after breakfast.  When we did sit-ups, someone else would hold our feet.  Between the bent knees and the pressure from the sit-up, and being after breakfast, I sometimes had really loud gas I couldn't hold in.  I could get the whole company of 80 women laughing - and nobody really wanted to hold my feet after a while!
 
Another time in the Navy, I was in Spain and working a night shift, so my future husband and I would go to the beach during the day.  I drank too much beer one day and when we got on the bus to go back to the ship, I started to feel it.  As soon as the bus started moving, I was a goner - I barfed into my hands, my b/f grabbed a plastic bag out of our beach bag in order for me to deposit the "stuff" into, then tied it off and dropped it out the window.  I wiped my hands and face on our towel and we continued on our way, trying to act as non-chalant as possible, even though the bus was packed.

OMG!!!  These are all simply mortifying...  And Shel (aka - 10lb'er) you are TOO much.  The worst I've ever done was poop my pants AND get my period at the same time while having brunch in a restaurant with the in-laws...  It was summer and I didn't have anything to tie around my waist to even get me to the Ladies Room.  I whispered to DH that I was in "trouble" and I needed his help.  I excused myself and DH stood up with me and basically walked me out of the restaurant pressed against me and got me into a cab.  Phew!  Thanks to him, my exposure was limited to the passerby's on the street by my apartment (and possibly the cabbie when I got out).  This is why I only carry oversized pocketbooks now!

Angel, I don#%92t know if you can handle watching this but your “fear of public restrooms” reminds me of an episode of Gary and Mike.  If you think you can handle it click on the youtube video below, LET IT LOAD COMPLETELY… then forward it to 3:55 seconds into the video for the “bathroom scene”.  The line that my DH and I use EVERY TIME the other person is in the bathroom for more than a minute or so is said at 4:40 seconds into that scene…..[]

  [linkhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ux2vjYmYqLM]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ux2vjYmYqLM[/link]

      DumDog- That Billy Connolly skit was pretty good! Thanks for sharing.[]

    []Christine you POOR THING!  OMG… that is horrible. I had 1 “public” bowel accident and while I am WAY too embarrassed to go into full details lets just say it was my first day back to work after being out with the stomach flu, I had 4 coworkers standing in my tiny office around me when it happened and I didn#%92t know until AFTER the event that one of my coworkers had switched my chair with my bosses chair about an hour before…so I wasn#%92t even sitting in MY CHAIR when it happened……[][][][][][][][&o][&o][&o][&o][&o][&o]

Not me but one of Susie's pups caca'd ALL OVER my Mom's pretty shirt once when it was about 3 weeks old. I thought they still needed help to potty...lmao. She was holding it and it just let loose...lmao....she was SO grossed out. [sm=lol.gif] 
Now she won't pick them up anymore until I potty them first haha...

I had an embarrassing moment today. 
 
I went shopping for a new camera earlier today.  While I was in the store looking at cameras, I noticed this attractive guy in the camera section with me.  I, knowing very little about cameras but wanting to know more about him, strolled casually over to him & ask for his opinion on a certain camera.  We started talking & he was talking to me as if he knew me.  Most of the conversation, I was trying to figure out where I had met him before & why I couldn't remember a good looking guy like him.  As we contined to talk, he finally asked me if I knew who he was?  I replied, I know I've met you before but I can't figure out how I know you.  He said, I'm Nick.  Oh CRAP, I dated Nick for about 6 months.  Suddenly I remembered exactly who he was.  He was the guy with terrible morning breath, a hot body, and a very small...oops gotta watch out for that under 18 crowd.  I made my exit very quickly after that.

I was staying the night with my husband(boyfriend at the time) and some of his friends were over for the night also.  We were all drinking and having a good time.  I ate some alfredo noodles and down a 5th of Aftershock in like 2 hours.  Justin decided that I needed to go to bed(I sleep in my panties)  He stripped me down and put me in the WATER BED!  As soon as he walked out, I felt the urge to puke.  I leaned off the bed and barfed all over the floor.  I call for Justin and he came back.  He has a weak tummy and immediately tells his friend Kevin to come help me.  I'm sitting up in the bed, bare-breasted when Kevin comes in.  He throws me a shirt and I crawled to the front porch with my pretty panties showing.  Needless to say, I stay the hell away from AFTERSHOCK

There sure seem to be a lot of bowel problems in this thread.  What are you people eating?  Purina?  []

I'm far too anal retentive for such issues...lmao.
Most of my embarassments deal more with falling and being drunk....Patsy and Edina make horrible role models...to all the young people out there.

Shelly, I can't get videos to show on my dial up, also my speakers are not hooked up yet.

Shelly, I can't get videos to show on my dial up, also my speakers are not hooked up yet

 
DAMN...sorry to hear that!  If you want to see it after you have everything gets hooked up then just pm me and I will forward it on to you![]

Great stories.  I certainly can't top any of them.  The most recent embarrassing moment for me came at a party when my idiot husband asked a girl that we hadn't seen for a long time "when the baby was due".  Of course...she wasn't pregnant, had just put on some weight.  I could have killed him. I've got a million stories about my sister.  She embarrasses herself all the time.  It's great fun for me.  Most recently she got a new cell phone that came with a "blue-tooth" (I think that's what it's called), it's a wireless earpiece that you can make calls with.  She was enthralled with her new toy, but it was giving her fits.  It has voice recognition and "it" kept calling people on it's own....possibly because she used someone's name in conversation and the phone then dialed them?  We really don't know.  "It" called my cell phone 4 times in a row without my sister meaning to call me.  Lots of other crazy things happened with this device that I won't go into. Anyway, I went into the office the other day for a meeting (my sister and I work for the same company) and prior to the start of the meeting I was in her office giving her a hard time about her new toy.  So fast forward to the meeting, and right in the middle of a very serious discussion with the owner of the company....all of sudden she yelps and starts flailing at her own head and then the blue-tooth goes flying across the room and smacks the wall.  Apparently it "buzzed" in her ear and she thought it was bug.  Everyone in the room was staring at her like she'd lost her mind and I was just dying!!!

These are hilarious.
I have a million about me  but this one happened to me and the other person was more embarrassed, I was hysterical.
When I had my  hysterectomy, my mother who had lots of surgery told me the first three days after the surgery is the worst pain, then after that the pain is gas from them cutting you open so she told me to ask for a rectal tube, that is a rubber tube, like would be found on the old enema bags or girl stuff bags.
So I am stoned on morphine but the pain is horrendous, I call the nurse ask for the rectal tube, conk back out. I wake feeling something taping me on the butt it's tap tap tap, like a hand lightly tapping me on my butt. Still out of it I pick up my sheet, and out flies a rubber glove fully inflated and waving back and forth. I quick put the sheet down and started to crack up, but my incision! so I try to call my mother to tell her this hilarious story and hung up on her 3 times,because I couldn't stop laughing and it was killing me. She got worried and called the nurses station three nurses came running in . I picked up my sheet and the hand gave them a wave, they lost it, one of the nurses w/ them was as red as a beet. She was just out of nursing school even had the little hat on, she thought it would be a good idea to put the latex glove on there so the room wouldn't smell. I can not tell you how many doctors and nurses came to my room to see me wave.

Deb, That is the funniest story ever.[]