Embarrassing Moments

Do you think for a minute that I will let a little detail like that keep me from telling a good story?

 
well...even IF you knew the story I think you would THINK TWICE if I did know yours...I can't seem to find the email but I think your comment was something to the effect of "there are some things even I won't share..."  MUST BE A FANTASTIC STORY BILLY!!  If you share yours, I WILL PROMISE to share mine...[]

OMG! Nothing's going to top that one! [sm=rotfl.gif]
 
However, I do have one that was my most embarrassing moment.
 
When I was about 14, all of the girl's bathrooms in the entire school were being painted, except one tiny one with only two stalls. It was wall-to-wall girls in there so I made my way to the sink and sat on it. The sink promptly broke from the wall and the fractured pipe sent water shooting everywhere, including against the doors of the two stalls. The two girls in the stalls were trapped while the rest of us scattered.
 
The worse part was, I still had two classes to get through and had to face the laughter of my classmates...I promptly went on a diet and lost 25 lbs. []

The bad thing about threads like this is people assume one is really telling a story about themself even though they are saying the story is about someone else...
 
A guy I used to work with said his wife would get up and go to church every Sunday.  He would lay in bed until it was nearly time for her to be home, then he would get up.
 
This guy always slept naked.  One Sunday morning, it was time for him to get up,  as his DW was expected home shortly.  He felt a sudden urge to fart so, being the dramatic type, he let her build up pressure a bit, then kicked both legs straight up in the air and, in his words, "**it a streak plum to the end of the bed."  He had to get up and strip the bed before his wife got home.

NASTY!!! nasty nasty nasty!!!  Now see, if he had just gone to church like a good boy he could have avoided such a mess

i had to read the first one out loud for my husband.... then had to read it again because he was laughing too loud []

I dont have any royally embarassing moments, none that are expected.... Once when i was a kid my sisters and i had gotten brand new ten speeds for Christmas. Our old bikes were the kind where the brakes were on the pedals.... not the handlebars.
I was riding my bike out in the road when my stepmom said it was time to eat.. so i raced my sisters to the house.... i was pedalling like a maniac, won the race and promptly bounced off the side of the house..... i had forgotten where the brakes were. After i knew i had won i started pedalling backwards before i realised the brakes were now right next to my hands... but i realised too late. And of course everyone laughed.

Now.... i have a story i got from a friend a few years ago.... I dont know if i can post it here because it involves "Adult Situations" and i'm still new here. i dont know what the age group is.... so... i'll just keep it to myself [sm=devil.gif]

I have a clean embarrassing moment. IT'LL SHOW YOU ALL HOW STUPID I AM AND HOW ONLY STUPID THINGS HAPPEN TO ME.
When I was, oh, about 21, I had just gotten a chevy nova. Not a BIG Chevy Nova, it was a model that was a small hatch back.
Anyway, before I had the Nova, I had a manual transmission mustang. Whenever I stopped my mustang, I'd leave it in gear so that it wouldn't roll.
I was real tired and working full-time and going to school and on my way to work one day I stopped at that gas station to get some smokes. Well, the gas station was kind of on a hill. I parked my car right in front of the door to the gas station.

It's hard to explain this story if you haven't seen the gas station I'm talking about, but anyway, I parked my car in front of the door to the station and accidentally left my car in "drive". My mind must've slipped back into Mustang mode. So, I go in and I'm standing in line waiting to pay. Well, a man comes in and he's just flailing his arms all over and he's yelling "SOMEBODY'S CAR IS ROLLING ONTO RTE 50 AND IT ROLLED PAST MY CAR AND HIT IT AND NOW IT'S ON RTE 50 HOLDING UP TRAFFIC."
I didn't pay any attention and thought, "What a WEIRDO." so I pay and go to walk out to my car and it's not there. hm...so I look and where is my car???
My car had apparently rolled out perfectly onto rte 50 and was sitting perfectly straight like it had somewhere to go...WITHOUT ME. Cars were backed up and honking and I got into my car. The flailing arm guy was standing by his car and he was yelling at me and he had called the cops to report the accident. See, his car was in the parking lot at the gas station and when my car rolled on by it nicked his car. You could NOT EVEN SEE THE NICK in his car. So, I'm standing there, embarrassed as all hell, and the guy is throwing this GIGANTIC fit and the cop said that we could call our insurance companies and file a claim, but since no one was driving the car when it happened, he wasn't going to ticket me.

D'OH. THERE YOU HAVE IT. THAT'S MY LIFE.[]

Ok - here's mine.
 
So I was 15 and trying soo hard to impress this amazing hot guy.  We were sitting on my front porch just talking and hanging out and things were going pretty good.  Well he starts telling this hilarious story and I start laughing really hard.  So hard in fact that I let out the biggest fart you have ever heard.  There was no denying it, no explaining it.  I just sat there for what seemed like a million years not knowing what to say hoping to God it didn't smell.  [:'(]
 
 

ORIGINAL: mrstjohnson

Ok - here's mine.

So I was 15 and trying soo hard to impress this amazing hot guy. We were sitting on my front porch just talking and hanging out and things were going pretty good. Well he starts telling this hilarious story and I start laughing really hard. So hard in fact that I let out the biggest fart you have ever heard. There was no denying it, no explaining it. I just sat there for what seemed like a million years not knowing what to say hoping to God it didn't smell. [:'(]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm so sorry. That must've been HORRIFYING. But it made me laugh.

I look back now and it makes me laugh (DH of course loves this story and begs me to tell it whenever we are out).  I did end up seeing the guy for a couple of months afterward, but I will always remember that story!

Rebecca - I had the same thing happen with my car.  It was a Toyota MR2 and I'd had it a few yrs, so to this day, I swear I'd arked it in gear.  I went to a friend's house and was just sitting there chatting.  All of a sudden there was pounding on the door and my friend opens and says "oh my gosh, Cath...your car"  I jumped up and looked out the door and my car had rolled backwards out of her long driveway, crossed 2 lanes of a very busy road, and knocked down a fence.  I was so embarassed, and the woman who knocked on the door was the district attorney for the city, but was as nice as could be.  Fortunately, my car had only minor damage and I only had to pay to repair the fence [] 

I have TONS I COULD share but I won't…I will keep it to the "less" embarrassing ones…   First off Lisa,  I will tell you that story made me laugh like hell (I can appreciate toilet humor and fart jokes quite a lot…I am a truly warped individual[]). I have NO idea the first time I farted in front of DH, nor he with me..it was SUCH a NON event with us and is just part of daily life in our home….   BUT I DO remember a horrible time when we were meeting my stepson#%92s future wife for the VERY first time only a few days before they were married. She is incredibly shy (nonsocial actually) and the kids and DH and I always have a great conversations and laugh fest when we are together.

   Anyway we were ALL trying to be on our BEST behavior with the new fiancé around and I had made a huge 4 course meal and we were all desperately trying to make her feel comfortable and trying to include her in conversation (which was next to impossible because the girl doesn't talk…).   So I don't remember what happened but something came up at the dinner table and the kids, DH and I were laughing so hard…we were all trying to control it but couldn#%92t because the fact that she was the ONLY ONE NOT LAUGHING made it even more funny to all of us…. Well too much laughing and out popped a bit of gas from me[8|]…loud enough to be clearly heard over everyone#%92s laughter. This sent my family and I into total hysterics…and I had to run to the bathroom to avoid peeing my pants from all the laughter. Needless to say I made a GREAT impression with the future DIL! []

OK, second story I feel “sorta” comfortable enough to share. I am reminded of this by the original post in this thread…[:-]

  DH and I camp a lot and one problem I have with camping is the bathroom thing.  I SWEAR it is like when I get on an airplane and I have to pee every 30 minutes…. Every night I get up about 4 times to have to go pee when we camp. One time DH thought he would be so smart and bought me a female urinal to use so I didn#%92t have to leave the warmth of our tent at night to go potty. THAT was a disaster and ended up with pee all over the tent floor…but that isn#%92t actually the really embarrassing bathroom story I want to share with you all…

  The other issue I have with camping is that we usually go to more remote areas where they are less likely to have anything but “pit” toilets. MANY years ago in Colorado there was a sick individual who stuck a child down a vault toilet and I have heard MANY stories of sickos “hiding” in all the filth and filming women when they use the bathroom. SO I have serious hang-ups when it comes to using these things. I prefer when we are “packing in” somewhere and I have to bring a shovel and bury the waste.   So usually my bowels go into “hibernation” mode when we camp and I often will go several days in between bowel movements. EVENTUALLY though I have to go…well on this specific day I went to the pit toilet in desperation only to find a “line” 3 people long. I wasn#%92t sure I could wait so I walked back to our camp site (which was actually very remote) and DH said “what why are you back so soon” I told him about the line and that I couldn#%92t wait so I was gonna go back behind a big old rock near by. He yelled to me as I was walking away “we didn#%92t bring a shovel you know??”.  I replied with “I will figure something out”.   

  SO I had the most wonderful bowel movement of my life…and felt SO MUCH BETTER and then realized I really didn#%92t know how I was going to bury it. I looked around for a makeshift shovel and couldn#%92t find one. It then dawned on me that I had dog poop bags in my pocket. SO I scooped it up and tried to high tail it back through my tent site without DH seeing me to go to the trash can.  Well..he heard me, turned around and you should have seen the look on his face..it was PRICELESS…his jaw dropped at the VOLUME[] that was in the dog poop bag…I could barely tie it off at the top[sm=rofl.gif]….  He went into hysterical laughing and one of my many nicknames since then has been “10 pounder”  []     

oh shelly... don't you just hate it when girls refuse to talk??!!

i promise i can add to this thread, but it's gonna take me quite a while to find a "g" rated one....  what with the members under 18 and all....
 
ETA after reading shelly's last one, perhaps i can't add anything better...[sm=rotfl.gif]

i promise i can add to this thread, but it's gonna take me quite a while to find a "g" rated one.... what with the members under 18 and all....

LMAO!!! Ok..anxiously awaiting yours then..and PLEASE email me the "non g-rated" ones... []

ok got one... (acutally, this is a two-for-one sale!)
ETA: not poo, but other bodily fluids.... and general idiocy.

Dh and i used to party with his old boss, who had a lot of land where we would have big bonfires with lotssssssss of booze and camp out overnight, etc. 

for some reason, this boss was obsessed with the idea of making me look like a "blonde", so after we had imbibed far too many beers, and were sitting around the fire in a big circle, he called my cell phone from his phone.  when i answered it, i had no idea who it was, i just kept repeating, "who IS this?? who IS thiss????"  he was sitting two chairs down from me.  looking RIGHT at me while he was talking.  i just was completely unable to put two and two together.  after i hung up, i said, "who WAS that?"  much to the delight of the spectators.  i felt like a jacka@@.

later on that night, we went to sleep in our tents, and i don't know if it was the undercooked meat or the 35 PBRs, but i got to feeling really sick.  i tried to ride it out, but i couldn't, and by the time i was ready to blow, it was too late to do anything other than lean my head out of the tent and puke right there.  i passed out and forgot about it, until the morning, when the girl in the tent next to ours shrieked, "oh my GOD what IS THAT????" about my pile of puke, which was quite "colorful".... i just pretended DH did it.[:'(][:'(][:'(]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

HOLY CRAP!!!

I don't have any embarrassing "poo" stories. I simply have the almost life threatening ones.
I cannot even IMAGINE having to void myself in the wilderness.
Oh, Shelly, you are a COURAGEOUS woman!