Am I letting his ex mess things up?

Hmmm. Logically, she COULD be a "stalker" and he could be telling the truth, but then why would he never have warned you about something like that? And if she's telling the truth, I'd bet if you look back, you could find instances where things were just a little odd, things you chalked up to his being back East, etc. I'd take a long, hard review of the past few months and see if there's things that felt "funny". 

Unfortunately, I've been thru this type of thing and I know how badly it can rattle your nerves.  My only advice is to trust what you know and pay attention to what you see/hear in the future.  If you've had no reason to mistrust your BF, then don't.  It will snuff out your relationship and make you miserable.  That doesn't mean you stick your head under the covers either.  Be observant (altho not neurotic) of things.  If there's something going on, you will see it.  Most importantly though, trust yourself.  Where the fear and insecurity comes from isn't the fear of what might happen or be going on, but our fear of how we'll cope with it.  So, know that you're strong and capable and if the unimaginable has/does happen, you will deal with it in the way that works best for you and your life.  For now, unless you have more questions to ask your BF and need more clarification, let it go and concentrate on your test [].

How much did you talk to BF during XMas?  If you think back, did he seem to make any wierd excuses not to talk.  Did he call you?  Don't think too hard cause it can get your imagination going, but Christmas is usually littered with things that can jog your memory.  If she was there with him, and didn't know about you, he would have to hide from her to call you.

Im wondering why all of a sudden this happened.  And how she got your number.  The fact that she had access to your number means that they have in fact at least been in contact.  Im sorry your going through this, it would be driving me mad...
 
Either way, what was said is right.  You are in control of your life, and thats all you have control of.  Take the attention away from that scenario to take care of business in your life until you have that mental capacity/available space and time to deal with him.  I hope you can figure it out and find some peace with it.  You come first though, whatever it turns out to be.

ORIGINAL: loveukaykay

Im wondering why all of a sudden this happened.  And how she got your number.  The fact that she had access to your number means that they have in fact at least been in contact. 

Why does this mean they have been in contact?  Maybe she got it out of the phonebook. 

How old is this girl?  And how did the breakup go?  Does she have a history? 

Is so easy to tell she is lying for this two reasons:
 

ORIGINAL: ottoluv

I've been dating my boyfriend for about 2.5 years

 
That girl has to be as naive as a 6 years old for not realizing that he was dating someone else (you) for that amount of time, even if that was true, and since "they never broke up", where she was during his birthdays, where she was during other christmas parties when actually you were there, family reunions, etc. ?
 

ORIGINAL: ottoluv

She claims that he text messaged her and when she went to reply it called my phone.

 
Thats the most stupid excuse i've ever heard, unless your boyfriend's number and yours are almost identical and just end in a different single digit (which is still too hard to do since she has 8 other different numbers to choose to dial wrong) then she is lying
 
She is a looser that just acts out of spite and tries to make you have a hard time with your boyfriend

How much did you talk to BF during XMas?  If you think back, did he seem to make any wierd excuses not to talk.  Did he call you? 

Thanks everyone so much for the replies, I'm still just sick over this. He calls me all the time, like 4-5 times a day and texts me even more then that. We also do video chat almost everyday too. It was even more during christmas. The phone thing is the one thing I hold on to that makes me feel she is dishonest, because like you said, how the heck would that ever happen. Still not sure how she got my number, my only guess is that it is from my BF's sister. She unfortunately has been friends with her for many years and I have spoken to his sister about medical stuff before for advice. My BF asked his sister and she flat out denies giving her my number! Oh gosh, it's amazing how your mind goes crazy, I've never really had this happen before. It's all you think about I hope the worry goes away, I just want to be myself and not act crazy and paranoid. He always tells me he loves that I'm so mellow and low maintenence, What if this makes me nuts?

Edit: I forgot to add this, she and he are younger then me 26. They dated long distance during college for several years, but had been friends in highschool. He actually moved to LA to be with her. They lived together for about three months before things fell apart. They had signed lease for a year so he "lived" with her for 9 months sleeping on the couch. I started dating him during the last month he was "living" with her, but I never went over there and from what I understand she didn't know we were dating until several months after he moved out since they weren't really speaking. I guess the break-up was pretty terrible, they both had no money and couldn't find anyone to sublet. She was actively dating the whole time and would even bring guys over. The last time I ever heard about her was about two years ago she called him and said that she had some stuff of his, he went to pick it up and while in her apartment he noticed she was logged on to HIS email. They got in some huge fight and hadn't really spoken since. Her excuse was she wanted to know what he was doing because she thought she might have made a mistake in breaking-up. I have never seen him more angry then he was when she called me on friday. I was actually shocked, he is usually so mellow too. Do you think she is making some sort of poorly calculated play for him?

I find it weird that nothing was happening for 2.5 years, and all of a sudden she pops up........weird.
 
Why did he have to move back east to get his masters? Couldn't he get it where you guys live?

ORIGINAL: ottoluv

Do you think she is making some sort of poorly calculated play for him?

 
Thats exactly what it is 

Why did he have to move back east to get his masters? Couldn't he get it where you guys live?

Well, there was a lot of discussion about this. There are two programs in los angeles for nursing anesthesia, cal state and USC. USC did not accept some of his nursing classes and wanted him to go back to college and repeat nursing physics with regular physics. He got into cal state, but it isn't a really good program Georgetown was just too great to pass up, I didn't want him to regret it in the future and feel like he missed out. I got to go to a rock star school, I didn't want to deprive him of that. It still sucks!

You said his sister still talks to his ex - although she may not have given her your number, she could have mentioned you in other ways and the ex got your number from anywhere else.  Wouldn't she know if they were still seeing each other?  Would she be honest with you?
 
In my opinion, the ex is a nut case.  But, keep your eyes open.

In my opinion, the ex is a nut case. But, keep your eyes open.

 
I totally agree and be sure you don't allow yourself to start feeling like one too [].  My DH's ex was like that and made a few attempts to weasel her way back into his life, but eventually she moved on.  I think you'd be surprised how many ways she could've gotten the phone #.  As mrstjohnson said, it could've been a matter of the sister, or someone else, mentioning your name.  It's easy to get a ph # if you have a name..or an address..or $$ to hire people to get that info.  If you've got no other reason to mistrust him, then try not to dwell on it.

I got the impression it was a cell phone she called, so it wouldnt be that easy to locate a cell #... and def not in the phone book.  Although if she was talking to his sister then theres a huge possibility of where she got it.  But same token, if she was talking to his sister she wouldve long known about the two of you.

Im not one to go going nuts and try really hard to not let things out of my control get to me, much like you sound to be.  So personally what I would do is forget about it.  (of course be alert to it...)  But theres not much more you can do.  If hes lying it will come up again in the future and until then, you have no proof and distrusting it all will only drive you. 

Hugs to you.

Who cares how she found the phone #? probably toke it from his email account  when she used to log in

I said that you dont have to worry at all, not even have your "eyes open" because your boyfriend has not giving you one single reason to be cheating on you, if you have your "eyes open" you are just going to affect in a negative way your relationship, you would be looking for "clues", you would be interrogating your boyfriend for every single thing, even if you dont you would be having this negative thoughts every time he didnt tell you something

The girl is a psyco, she wanted you to have problems with your boyfriend and if you suspect about him then she will be successful

Your boyfriend already explained himself, if you dont trust what he is saying then your relationship will start to go down the drain anyways