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How early is too early? Wedding Questions

Posted : 1/19/2007 2:31:22 PM

I need some wedding help!! I'm getting married this coming July. Our wedding is going to be away from home (we live in PA and we're having the wedding at Honeoye Lake, NY, which is close to Rochester). I'm trying to decide when to mail out my save the date magnets and my invitations.

I want to get the save the dates out early so people can mark the date and remember and be able to make it to NY. We have some guests that will be traveling from Georgia, Wisconsin and Michigan, Pennsylvania, and some already in NY. I want to make sure that they have time to plan.

Also, I'm having a separate reception here in Pittsburgh after the wedding and Honeymoon for people we aren't that close with or who can't make the trip. (This is mostly for my mom. Our wedding is going to be very small (about 35 people) so only very close family and friends are invited because the wedding is at a family member's lake house) My mom would like to show the wedding on tape and possibly some of our honeymoon pics at this reception. How should I word an invite to these people? And when should that be sent out? She also wants us to get dressed up again for this reception (dress and tux's). I had wanted to at first, but now that the reception will be after the honeymoon, I think it will be a little weird. What do you guys think?

Ahhhh! I feel like I'm planning two separate weddings! I think I'm going to go crazy just trying to organize this. Any thoughts are welcome. Thanks so much! [

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melindar

Posted : 1/19/2007 2:39:19 PM

I think that wedding invitations are supposed to be sent around 1-2 months in advance. But in your situation, I might do 2-3 months. Have you gone to [linkhttp://www.theknot.com]www.theknot.com[/link]? It's pretty cool. They have a checklist as to what you need to do from the ingagement all the way up until the wedding day.

As for the people you are inviting to the reception, I would put it as that. A reception to celebrate your nuptials. My cousin did the same thing you are doing: have a small wedding (only close family) and then a reception later on. I don't remember exactly what the invitation said. Have you talked to a bridal shop about them? They usually have a TON of invitations to look at (I think the one we went to had 3-5 books)!

Scout in Canada

Posted : 1/19/2007 3:41:55 PM

I wouldn't want to wear my wedding dress at an after-the-fact reception - I would dress up, but not the wedding dress. However, my friends who got married in the Dominican did wear the full outfits at their back-home reception a few weeks later. So I'm not sure.

Michelle

Posted : 1/19/2007 4:19:46 PM

I agree with the "the knot" website suggestion, they probably even have an etiquette Q&A or forum on there to help. As for the dress, I'd personally wear something else, if your gown is a wedding GOWN, but you could still go with a white, sparkly wedding/formal wear type thing. That way you can buy two dresses!

g33

Posted : 1/19/2007 4:30:37 PM

We sent out a "save the date" announcement six months before our wedding. We had our wedding in early August which tends to be prime vacation season and we wanted people important to us to be able to plan with our date in mind. We made some really fun announcements that whet the appetite of our guests with a taste of the "theme" for our wedding and Ron and I totally had fun creating it together.

Michelle

Posted : 1/19/2007 4:53:11 PM

One thing I remember about the save-the-date letter that I sent out was that it confused a lot of the older guests . . . they thought it was the invitation, and then were surprised when they got the actual invitation! The letter was just that, an 81/2 by 11 letter, on some pretty computer paper, but it had info about lodging and the area, tourist attractions and a map on the back. And our invitations were very traditional invitations. I guess the save the date thing is "modern" invention!

g33

Posted : 1/19/2007 5:49:10 PM

We did our "save the date" as just a short postcard with a note of "details to follow"...

I think the magnet idea is GREAT! I wish we would have thought of that!

jones

Posted : 1/19/2007 7:45:34 PM

I think 4-6mo ahead is pretty standard for save-the-dates. I'm making mine now, totally anxious to send them out but it's too early - they're small cards with the announcement of our engagement, the date, and "invitation and deatils to follow."

I think you can call the wedding reception a wedding reception... that's what it is. As far as the dress goes, if you're not opposed to buying another dress I think a cocktail-length wedding dress would be cute & appropriate. But really, anything goes these days... just do what works for you.

boneyjean

Posted : 1/19/2007 8:19:55 PM

I think I sent my save the date cards about 4-6 months before as well. We did a post card size card in an envelope with the date and city and details to follow. I think I might still have mine. I did everything on my own for my wedding and [linkhttp://www.theknot.com]www.theknot.com[/link] was my lifesaver. I used their checklist and budget tool and everything else I could.

georgie4682

Posted : 1/19/2007 10:20:48 PM

Thanks so much for all the responses. So I just got my save the dates and the weddings about 6 months away so it should be ok to mail them out in Feb. So that's good...one more thing out of the way (I've attached a picture of what they look like...they were perfect. We're having the wedding at a lake and my flowers will be cala lilies!)

I have been using theknot.com but that stupid list just got me all frustrated. Since I was so busy I wasn't on for a while and things just started building up and every time I look at it, it just looks like a ton of stuff to look through. I guess I'll have to just make myself sit down and look at all the things I've done and all the things that are over due and check some things off.

I still don't know about the whole wedding dress thing...I guess I'll figure it out. SO really doesn't want to have to get dressed up. I'll just have to talk my mom out of that one. [

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cyclefiend2000

Posted : 1/19/2007 11:07:46 PM

it is never too late to start planning the honeymoon. most important part of the whole deal. the earlier you start looking the better deal you will get on your plane tickets.

wait... you did ask about the honeymoon right? cause i know nothing about planning all that other stuff. [

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jones

Posted : 1/19/2007 11:22:06 PM

I have been using theknot.com but that stupid list just got me all frustrated. Since I was so busy I wasn't on for a while and things just started building up and every time I look at it, it just looks like a ton of stuff to look through. I guess I'll have to just make myself sit down and look at all the things I've done and all the things that are over due and check some things off.

I use the knot to-do list - if you like using lists it's great, but you do have to weed out some silly stuff. The reason there are so many items is because some of them are things like "Think about how you might wear your hair." "Figure out what style of dress looks best on you." Thanks, Captain Obvious, but I don't need a list telling me what to think about.... [sm=uhoh.gif][sm=lol.gif]

boneyjean

Posted : 1/20/2007 1:33:29 AM

When I used the knot you could customize the list and get rid of certain things that didn't apply all together. I think I was always behind on my list but it did help me know how to prioritize and what I still had left to do.

And yes, you should also be booking your honeymoon now! You will get a better deal now then if you wait most likely.