...So now im pregnant

Julitza,
 
Whatever the outcome is we are all here for you.[]
I don't have much advice but just wanted to let you know I really hope the best for everything to turn out alright.  Think of it as a good thing, you will be bringing a wonderful little life into this world and nothing can stop you from giving him or her all your love.

Well as to how to tell him...simply state that tho you were both being careful...it wasn't careful enough, and you are now pregnant. That's honest and it is inclusive with the "we" meaning you both share equal responsibility in preventing pregnancy.
 
As to the situation I can only say that pregnancy during times of stress is very difficult...I would minimize as much as possible your own worry...don't see people who make you upset...enjoy your son and your DH and consider this a 9 month respite from dealing with any other crap that might stress you out. []

Well, Julitza...none of my children were "planned".  I did stress a little bit in the beginning of each. My DH was very supportive and said this happened for a good reason and that we shouldbe thankful for each blessing of a child.  I have 3 children btwand I wouldn't trade them for anything.  They have brought me great joy!
Personally, would not let it worry you about your mom and grandma.  They should be supportive.  Maybe you could have DH say to them that you are pregnant and if they cannot be supportive and have kind things to say that they will not be helping the situation.
I know how you feel and I have been there.  Please feel free to PM me if you would like.

Julitza, I'm sorry for your worry.  With DH and I just married 5 months ago I know that we'll hear some judgments from other people also.  I just wanted to say congratulations and that I'm happy for you. 

One of the first things I learned in a long-ago counseling class was, when someone tells you they're pregnant, you don't automatically say "Congratulations". I second what someone else said about minimizing your stress though. It's not good for you, or the baby, or your marriage. You're in my thoughts and prayers. Bless your heart, you so sound like you need a hug.

Our first wasn't planned, but not unplanned either.  Our 2ed was 100% planned.  You worry about telling your mom and grandma.  It was the opposite for my Mom.  She worried about tell us kids about a very unplanned, unexpected baby on the way.  She was 41, Daddy was 42.  We 4 kids were 17 (me), 15, 12 & 10.  She was especially worried about me as i was a senior in  high school. 
 
She had been sick and Daddy had taken her to the doctor and when i got in from school that day she was laying on the sofa.  i asked her what the doctor said and she said "Do you really want to know"? and my heart sank--cancer or something horrible.  Then she said "Do you want a baby brother or baby sister?"  Let me tell y ou, we lived in a small town of only 610 people and by night fall i don't think there was a person in town who didn't know.  We were so excited we had to call everyone we knew, taking turns.
 
When mickey was born i almost took him away from mom!  She had cracked her tail bone when a stool collapsed with her 3 months before mickey was born and had a hard time sitting for long.  I took that baby to church  with me even if mama didn't go, I took him with me to visit folks, etc.  Mom often said if folks in town had not seen h er "waddling around for 9 months', they would have thought mickey was my baby.  He is 44 and i still call him my baby brother.
 
Just a little note.  My Mom said if the baby was a girl my sister and i could name her, and if a boy, my 2 brothers could name him.  We picked Gina Ann for a girl.  My 15 year old brother said he coudln't think of any good names so would let 10 year old jeff decide.  Jeff was a Yankee Fan and opted for Mickey Yogi after Mickey Mantle and Yogi Berra.  I was a Dodge fan and i rean Sports illustrated regularly in school library and i read that Yogi's real name is Lawerence Peter Berra, so Jeff agree on Mickey Lawerence after Mickey Charles Mantle and Lawrence Peter Berra (can't remember if it is 1 or 2  "r's" in his name.
 
Shows that sometimes these unplanned babies give such a great joy,  My folks, 2 brothers, sister and i doted on Mickey, and us 4 "kids' still do.  Try not to stress out, things have a way of working out.

Oh, honey - I feel for you.  I like the idea Firestorm had about getting DH to tell your mom/grandmom.  If they have any harsh words/reactions then you are shielded from them.  Be gentle with yourself - you're in my thoughts.

I like the idea of having DH tell your mother/grandmother, too.  And I think he should tell them that it's "Doctors' Orders" that you avoid people/situations that will cause stress. If they can't be pleasant and supportive when you need them most, they'll just have to accept not being able to spend time with you until they can. Good Luck!
 
Joyce

Sounds like you have more than you can handle.  I hope that things do not turn out as bad as they seem now.  Remember all the positives and have hope. 
 
When I told my DH about my third, and last pregnancy, he made an appointment for a vasectomy.  How's that for a reaction!  He was completely stressed out, as we were financially not in the best place.  As wonderful  a husband and father that he is now, there was a period where he was civil and nothing more, and that was the only way he could deal wiht the stress of having a family he wasn't sure he/we could afford.  Also, I'm a carrier for a genetic condition, so the possibility of passing that on was not a stress-reliever either.  I only tell you this to say that we are now happier than we've ever been.  Every day isn't a rose, but most are.  There may be some tough times, but perhaps not.  We are here for you.

DH and I have been having sex since I was 15.  We got together when I was 12!  Crazy I know... but we waited to have sex until I was 15.  We got married at 19, now Im 24, I honestly cant believe Ive not had an accident.  We are always careful, but you know, not being on the pill, the only real way to be safe is to not do it. 
 
I did have a few really bad scares and as much as my mom and I got along it always was my biggest worry.  Telling her, having her be dissapointed in me.  I think at age 20 I had the worst scare and I just decided well if I am, Im going to be happy and embrace it because if you decide to have it... looking back and not enjoying that time would be something I would have always regretted after the fact. 
 
So, if you going to have this baby, which Im sure you are.... then regardless of what anyone says... embrace and enjoy this time.  Even if they are upset, they will follow suit in time.  Good luck. 

Thanks everyone, for your support. I did tell DH a little while ago. We went out on my lunch break and I just had to tell him. Low and behold he told me he already suspected because I was *bitchier* (my use of words) and that I was more tired than usual. I know he wasnt extremely happy, but he said things happen, and no matter what this child is still ours and we are going to love it.
 
Im just so scared. My baby boy is my pride in joy, I love him beyond words. I dont want him to feel pushed to the side. I didnt want him to have to share mommy and daddys love as bad as that sounds.
 
Also, I am terrified of giving birth. With my son I had 13 1/2 hours of pure hell. He didnt want to come out, and the pain medication I got, hardly blocked any pain and just made me sleepy/delirious. I remember in the pushing stage I dozed between contractions thats how messed up I was. I dont want to go through such a horrible experience again!

ORIGINAL: LizzieCollie
Im just so scared. My baby boy is my pride in joy, I love him beyond words. I dont want him to feel pushed to the side. I didnt want him to have to share mommy and daddys love as bad as that sounds.

 
1st, Congratulations!  2nd how old is your son?  If he old enough that you can try to get him involved in the plans for the baby.

My second was due on my first's 3rd birthday and everyone said how great it would be to have their birthday the same day.  i said no, i wanted each to have their own special day.  Randy was 5 days late.
 
You will love your little boy no less than before.  he may not get as much attention, but if he can help with the baby, all the better.  Being close in age will make them better playmates as well.  
 
With my first, i went to the hospital at 7:00 in the m orning, not even sure it was really time.  he was less than 3 hours later.  With my 2ed i went to h ospital about 11:00 at night, they did check me in, I slept all night, at 11:00 the next morning they gave me a shot of some kind and 29 minutes later Randy was here.

Oh honey, at some point in his life your son will use this child's birth to try and make you feel guilty, that's what kids do! If this was a perfectly planned pregnancy or not, it has nothing to with it. Children are the center of their own world, and anything that impacts on that will make them feel jealous and pushed aside . . . jobs, siblings, ets, TV, computer, talking on the telephone, trying to take a shower (I am not exaggerating!) The best advice I ever heard about explaining sharing love in a family with kids was this (your son may still be too young for it, but you can remember it for later):

Light two candles, this represents you and your husband. This flame is the love you share.Take another candle and light it from the two, this represents your love for your first child, get another candle (the second child) and light it again from the first two. Show the child how the flame from the first candle did not diminish, and neither has your love for him, there's always enough love to go around. I've done it with my daughter, and she liked it. Of course, she still occasionally whines about how we pay more attention to her sister.[]