I'm Keeping My Last Name!

my wife changed her last name, but mainly because she kept her married name after getting divorced and she didnt want that name any more.

personally, i didnt give a rat's a$$ whether she changed her name or not. it was totally her decision.

i say if you want to keep your last name stick to it. one of my co-worker's wife kept her maiden name. the only weird part is occassionally, someone will call him mr. mcduffy (his wife's last name). otherwise, no biggie. plus changing your name is a hassle. changing over all your credit cards and driver's license and passport and ....

I'm changing mine.  My fiance's name is definitely easier for people to say (even though mine is easy and spelled exactly how it is said, people still can't get it [&:]).  Plus we do plan on having kids and I'd like us all to have the same name.

I took my husband's last name for several reasons.  I was 31 when I married so I also had a long history with my original last name, had a career history as well as a graduate degree with that name.

First, I took it to signify my commitment toward unity with him.  Plunging in with both feet, so to speak, with no "back door" if things didn't work out.  I went through all the rigamarole to change my name and that was a journey and a battle in itself!  It made me feel strong and committed in the relationship.

Second, I took it so that our eventual children would be part of a "sealed" family unit.  Having parents with two last names appears disconnected and children pick up on this right away.

Third, because I feel like having the same name bonds us together in an unbreakable way.   

As for the question about why women typically take their husband's name in marriage, you can view this (disclaimer: the following link is from Wikipedia) [linkhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Family_name]http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Family_name[/link]
 
 
 
I once talked with an acquaintance who was a cop, and he said that if he ever pulled over a woman with a hyphenated last name, she was automatically getting a ticket.  [8|][8|][8|]

I changed my name.... and as for publications, I changed it before my first one was published (we got married in college) so now I will forever have his name, since I've published under it! Mwahahahaha.....  lol.   My maiden was shorter and easier to spell, but I wanted his name anyway, just for tradition.  His last name is common in and of itself, but there's one letter difference so EVERYONE spells it the other way.  Makes me feel kinda special to be "different" actually.  No one at work can find me since the directory spells it right and they assume it's "without the c" and get it wrong.  teehee, I love it!

Lol...personally I don't care, and it's SO not a big deal....in these days of divorce...I have THREE last names in my family...my Mother took hers back after divorce...she gave me the last name of my sperm donor father....and my sisters have their dad's last name.
 
Perhaps because of that...I fail to see what is important beyond the name your children carry...which IS important because it can determine entitlement in the event that you die unexpectedly.
 
g33 is absolutely right...it complicates matters with children....speaking of school, medical care etc to NO end. You are constantly having to explain that YES you are these kids natural mother etc etc etc. The kids also will ask why you didn't want the same last name as them...which you get to explain and I'd like to see someone do that without sounding like the choice was made to keep yourself apart, which is how a child's mind would process it.
 
I echo the other "takers"...it's a sign of true commitment and a sign that your MAN is going to be there for you because you and he are now a unit and united in all things. You DO give up a bit of yourself to the other person when you marry....and it does not diminish you in any way...in fact it expands "you".

I was 29 when I got married & I felt that I had been Annie T for so long. It was my identity.  I wasn't giving that up.  DH didn't care what I did.

Gina H, I loved your response, esp. the last paragraph.  That is exactly what I was trying to articulate. 
 
Marriage is a bonding and a blending...you don't lose yourself, you give of yourself and unite with another.  I do agree that it is important for both parties not to give up their individuality, and I believe that is still possible even with a union under one name.
 
As one of my favorite philosophers wrote: 
 
You were born together, and together you shall be forevermore.
You shall be together when white wings of death scatter your days.
Aye, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God.
But let there be spaces in your togetherness,
And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.
Love one another but make not a bond of love:
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf.
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,
Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.
Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping.
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
And stand together, yet not too near together:
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow.
 
- Kahlil Gibran, from The Prophet

I changed my name, after much consideration.  I thought about the hyphen thing, but that's just too many letters.  I changed my middle name to my old last name, so that way I don't have to clog up forms with a 30 letter hyphenated last name and still retain the name I love.

I think if you feel your last name is a big part of your identity, keep it for sure. These days a lot of women do and there are not the significance or negative connotations such a practice used to have. In my line of work there are a lot of female business owners and many of them keep their last names, at least for their business - and then sometimes in other settings (parental forms at kids' school) they use their husband's name for clarity's sake. There are so many options and so many variations these days, I don't think anyone has to take their husband's name for social reasons anymore - it should and can be a wholly personal choice.
 
My fiance thinks I'm a little crazy for taking his name because it's unusual (I like it) and I have a nice name now. But to me, my 'maiden' name is my father's name and associated strongly with my family life as a child, in that nuclear unit... and not that I don't dearly love my dad, but breaking away from that rather disfunctional family structure feels good. Taking my fiance's name means to me that I have a new nuclear unit now - him and me. It feels like a fresh start.

I know someone who kept their madien name. Normally I wouldn't have thought anything of it, but her madien name was 'Butts' and her husbands name was something simple, so I thought that was a little weird.

In Latin America the girls do not get rid of their name, they just add the DH last name to theirs, a good example is the actress Courtney Cox-Arquette, that way everybody's happy

Yes, thats how my family has done it for years. I still don't like the idea of changing the last name, in the real world people only know you by first and last, who cares about the middle.

My full name right now unmarraried is: Amanda Denise Techla Lopez Aragon
It's My birth first, middle and last name with my conformation name and my moms maden name added to it. Traditionaly, If I got married and took my bf's name it would just be added to the end of the list. I, on the otherhand, would just add the name befor my maden name to show that I did take it but it would not be the name I go by. I also don't like the hyphen names, just too long.


I've also thought about the kid thing, I don't know if I ever will have kids but I would want them to have his name even if I kept mine.

Marriage is a bonding and a blending...you don't lose yourself

i feel like i lost my true self by getting married. highly overrated tradition if you ask me. [sm=2cents.gif]

It's just tradition - not a law.  If  you like  your last name better, keep it.  Or  you could hyphenate it or maybe you could talk the BF into taking  yours. 
 
Joyce

i took my husbands last name, i never even considered keeping my own, it is german and rediculous to spell and alot of people don't pronounce it right when they read it. i think he would be offended if i didnt take his name. i would not want to have a different name than my children, me and my brother had different last names and it was awkward sometimes.  i'm not big on tradition, but the name thing is one i subscribe to for my own reasons.

When my husband saw all the crap I had to go through to change my name this year, he said, "You know, if men had to be the ones to change their names I don't think a lot of name-changing would happen!"  It was a PITA and our bank, insurance and credit card companies screwed up my last name.  My last name is Williams.  How easy is that?  I got stuff addressed to Willams, Williliams, William, Willam.  Ridiculous!