Dog Community

Mom and me, an update

Posted : 1/6/2007 11:00:14 AM

Since I'm getting emails asking, and since there just isn't enough of me to go around these days and I've not been posting much......

Mom has been in the Nursing Home for a bit over a week now. She's still easily tired and I'm hoping that's a combination of 11 days in a hospital bed, that nasty flu bug and the ongoing antibiotic induced diaherra. They work her hard in PT and OT and her days are far more structured than she is used to, so that may be a bit of it as well.

She still has difficulty focusing and tends to be in and out of it, but, some days are far better than others AND she is much more lucid with me than she is with my Sis.

She doesnt like to eat all of a sudden. So that is a concern. She eats marginal amounts of food and they supplement her with Boost twice a day now. Some of this is likely the meds affecting her appetite, but still, it is a concern.

As for me, well, I'm still keeping on. Big surprise, I have another shingles outbreak, but luckily my doc gave me extra pills last time for "next time" so I could get started right away and get the refill called in. Those enormous pills take herculon force to choke down, but it's worth the effort in the reduced effects of the outbreak.

For several nites in a row I have NOT woken at between 3 and 3:30 in the morning, in a cold sweat/panic, so that's an improvement, actually sleeping most of the night is rather nice. I did loose 14 pounds with that lovely flu bug which alarmed MY doctor to no end, but, heck, I don't know WHEN I lost it...just that it left sometime between the last office visit and now. I've no doubt that SOME of it was related to the vomiting, etc, and the inability to eat, but I had weight to spare........I don't miss it in the least.

Sis is a bit more relaxed now, thankfully. Altho, this morning Mom said she'd like me to pick up her car so we could take her out tommorow and when I called Sis about it she got really anal. Then she called back and apologized, but cautioned me NOT to smoke in Mom's car. Yeah, I'm gonna get in someone elses car and stink it all up. Yep, that happens alllll the time. Right. I don't even smoke in Mom's GARAGE in the dead of winter, so the liklihood of me smoking in her CAR??? Just non existent.......My van is hard for a HEALTHY Mom to get in and out of, and the station vehicle is a durango, so not much easier. The ONLY way I can take her out is to take her out in HER car. And, gee, it's HER car, so I'm thinking that she gets to make that decision and NOT my sister. I realize that she's doing the job Mother gave her when she made her executor, BUT while Mom is still alive and kicking Sis needs to ease up a little.

Today is my weekend day at home. I just told my Sis that we BOTH need to take a day of the weekend to call our own. She likes to go to Church on Sundays, I can go to Saturday evening service or not go at all.....I don't need to be in a church to feel spiritual or connected. Sis is going to have Christmas with her kids and grandkids tommorow down state, so we'll spend tommorow with Mom. But, honestly, I need a day to catch up with myself, not to mention get my pig stye back in order and do laundry.........

So, we seem to have settled into a routine. I have lunch with Mom a couple times a week and the other days squeeze in a visit during the day. Luckily, she's fatigued in the evening so after work visits aren't great for her, which means that I get to come home and start my second job without delay. If I go into the office a half hour or so early, I can extend my lunch time or visit without feeling guilty about "cheating" the company out of my time.......darned old morals I was raised with.......

That's where we are now. For those of you who have emailed asking for an update, thank you. And, my apologies for being so pokey!

fuzzy_dogs_mom

Posted : 1/6/2007 1:49:39 PM

[

]Thanks for the update, Glenda. I'm glad everything is going well for all of you. And no need to apologize - it's not like you have nothing at all to do but spend hours on the computer.

Joyce

cakana

Posted : 1/6/2007 3:07:55 PM

Yep, thanks for the update Glenda. I'd been wondering but figured (hoped) that no news was good news. I'm glad to hear things are stable. I think the lack of appetite is extremely common in the elderly, particularly in the nursing home situation. My dad complained that nothing tasted good or had any flavor. I watched him play with his dinner one night for what seemed like forever. First he dumped the whole packet of salt on everything. Then he did the same with the pepper. Then he took his crumbled up napkin and tossed it on the whole thing and pushed it away [8|]. If I brought him a burger, fries and a milk shake, he was thrilled though. Maybe there are some things like that to at least bring in now and again as a treat. I also think the confusion is common in the nursing home, or at least that's what I was told. I'm not sure if it's the medications, the different routine, or what, but my dad lost all track of what day/time it was and the confusion was extremely frustrating to him. Hang in there. With you and your family giving her support, she's in good hands [

]

glenmar

Posted : 1/6/2007 3:38:24 PM

Well, since the car issue has been settled we'll take her out for a bit tommorow. I'd honestly rather eat right there at the nursing home since they have an outstanding chef, but will leave it up to her.

There have been times over the past several months when her appetite has been really off....usually in reaction to new meds, so hopefully it'll come back yet again. She's asked for things like grilled cheese and egg salad sandwiches and they are very accomodating in making her that sort of thing. And, when she gets her milk shake at the ice cream parlor, we have it made with boost instead of milk, so at least she's getting some nourishment from the ice cream treats. Her very favorite seems to be Wendy's chicken nuggets so will have to start taking her some of those.

She now has a calender in her room and MIL got me a little planner, I think with lighthouses ,that she'll enjoy and we can make a point of x'ing days off so she can keep track of the days better. The time thing has me a bit stymed. My youngest son has NEVER been able to tell time on a regular clock.....he's ADHD and for a long time, I've seen some signs of that in Mother too....so perhaps this is the link that we haven't figured out yet.......

So much for getting caught up today......I've done the dog food and we cleaned the lower level, but the laundry is lagging behind and the upstairs hasn't even been started yet.......oh well, it'll all keep. Except the laundry....I absolutely MUST finish that or I won't have clothes to wear to work!

micksmom

Posted : 1/6/2007 7:21:37 PM

Glenda, I'm glad things are getting better for both of you (well, except for the shingles). I can relate to not sleeping through the night. I'm glad you're past that now. I honetly thing your mom's fatigue has a lot to do with all she's been through and the PT as opposed to something being wrong (not that my opinions count! LOL).

ron2

Posted : 1/6/2007 8:53:42 PM

And here's a big, Texas-sized hug for an old broad with a core of diamond, and one for the mother hanging on and making the best of it. And maybe one for the Sister from H-E- double hockey sticks if it would help her ease up just an itsy bit.

Truley

Posted : 1/6/2007 9:38:21 PM

Glenda, thanks for the update, I must have missed this in my travels through the board.

Hugs for you, and please take care of yourself.

Dawn

spiritdogs

Posted : 1/6/2007 10:00:32 PM

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glenmar

Posted : 1/7/2007 8:23:11 PM

Mom had SUCH a good day today. I called her on our way in and we stopped and picked up her car so we could take her out. We were there well before lunch and had lunch with her, then took her out to the General Store where DS works so that she could take his Christmas presents to him. Then we just drove around the Penninsula for a bit since Mom loves to ride and explore. When we got back we went to the ice cream parlor.....she got her standard chocolate shake and we both had a dish of ice cream...her treat. The "suggested donation" is $1 per item, so we let her treat this time. Then we did our Christmas with her and I sat with her while she had dinner. I can't eat that frequently....they eat at 8, noon and 5 sharp! But, tonite she ate pizza and enjoyed it.

She was good and tired when we left, but gosh, she really enjoyed her day. Best 8 hours I've spent in years!

ladiebug

Posted : 1/7/2007 8:50:01 PM

Sounds like you both had a terrific day! Glad that she's

rogressing and that you're sleeping thru the night. Will keep praying for you.

agilebasenji

Posted : 1/7/2007 10:27:44 PM

Sounds like she's doing lots of improving. Merry Christmas to you!

tacran

Posted : 1/7/2007 11:57:38 PM

I was hoping that "no news was good news, too." So, I'm glad to hear your update is quite

ositive. Your mother's definitely got a fighting spirit! I know how hard it is to get people in her condition to eat when their appetite isn't where it should be. But hey, ice cream has some good nutrients -- dairy isn't ALL bad! I remember when we used to bring Tonka to the hospital for patient visitation, we met a man who had a can of beer on his food tray. He said it was prescribed by his doctor (sure enough, it had a label on it from the hospital pharmacy). The man said it was all he could stomach, and the doctor was willing to let him have it just so he'd get SOMETHING. I think it's great your Mom is eating anything -- whatever tastes good to her -- at least it'll keep her spirits up rather than forcing down something that tastes crummy to her.

Glad to hear you're sleeping better, and that there's a return to some kind of routine for you. Keep hanging in there!

marty_ga

Posted : 1/8/2007 6:18:41 AM

Glad to hear that things are looking up. I'm sure such a pleasant day will go a long way towards improving her spirits and recovery time.

That can of beer story reminds me of when my Dad was going downhill, he really wanted a Brandy Alexander. My Mom didn't know how, so she mixed some Brandy in with a can of chocolate Ensure...he loved it!

bragg1120

Posted : 1/8/2007 11:19:59 AM

Glenda, glad to see the good news about your day out with your mom. As always, keeping you guys in my prayers.

glenmar

Posted : 1/8/2007 4:24:36 PM

I got lucky and arrived in time for a meeting today to discuss her progress and determine the next step. Mother is doing very well in PT and needs another 8 days they say, then we'll move her to the next wing over. She selected a 2 bedroom apartment and we continued to reassure her that this is SHORT term and not a forever thing. She's already thinking about window treatments, so that's a good thing.

She'll be released from the skilled nursing side next Thursday and move into her apartment which will be totally ready for her. We can start moving her furniture and things in this weekend so it will be totally ready when she moves in.