Boys and Motorcycles

    • Gold Top Dog

    Boys and Motorcycles

    I have a "situation" with my middle son, that I would like to get your advice on.
     
    The boy is 19 years old.  Graduated 3rd in his high school class.  Has joined the Air Force.  He reports the 12th of next month.  He lives with his mother.  My ex and I have been divorced about 5 years, after being married for 25.  I live about 4 hours away from them.  We have as good a relationship as a father can have with a 19 year old boy who lives 4 hours away.  Although Paul is smart, he is very immature.
     
    Now here's the problem.  He wants to buy a motorcycle.  Specifically, a Harley - Davidson Sportster.  I have nothing against motorcycles.  I have had more than one myself, although not for several years.  I know that motorcycles in general and Harleys in particular are a bit of a chick magnet and I know how important that is to a 19 year old boy but, the bottom line is, I really don't want him to have a motorcycle.  The good thing is, I do have a certain amount of control over whether or not he gets one.
     
    Last night Paul called.  He asked me to co-sign the loan for the bike.  Not surprisingly, he was unable to qualify on his own.  His mother, who also doesn't want him to have a bike, is not an option for him as a co-signer, even if she were willing to do it.  I told him I would think about it and get back to him "in a day or two."
     
    I will give him some credit here.  He has done his homework.  He has already checked into insurance.  Harley has 6 months 0% financing.  He figures he can have the bike half paid for in 6 months which, if he has the discipline, is true.  Single boys in the service really don't have any expenses.  He has promised to take a motorcycle class before he even takes the bike for a spin.  The dealer will truck the bike to the house and he will leave it parked until he finishes the class, which is like next week anyway. 
     
    Like I said, I really don't want him to have a motorcycle.  Motorcycles and young boys do not make a good combination.  Motorcycles and MY young boy is an unacceptable combination.  I am afraid for his safety, frankly.  In addition, I don't think a Harley is a good choice for a first motorcycle.  I would rather, if he is going to get a motorcycle at all, see him spend half the money and get twice the motorcycle, but really, that isn't the issue.  I don't want him to have a motorcycle, PERIOD.
     
    Refusing to co-sign is obviously an option, but I am not sure it is a good one.  On the other hand, I am not sure it is a bad one either.  He has the resources to buy a less expensive motorcycle and pay cash for it, which really doesn't solve anything.  I don't want to piss him off, but I don't want him to have a motorcycle either.
     
    What to do?
    • Gold Top Dog
    I would rather, if he is going to get a motorcycle at all, see him spend half the money and get twice the motorcycle

     
    As  mom of a soon to be 18 yr old and bike owner I can totally understand your feelings and thoughts for safety. I'm sure if your son really wants one he will find a way to do this. Either the bike he really wants or one he'll just get for the principle of it.
     
    My thoughts are I'd want him to be safe with a bike that isn't the fastest out there( we all know Harleys are cruisers right, except ours which has a stage one kit on it [:D]) Those crotch rockets scare the beegeezers out of me and thats what my son wants!!!
    I would suggest that if he can't get the financing right now, thats a door to say the timing isn't right...wait a little longer, the seasons almost over and pricing will go down and he'll probably end up getting more bike for his money if he can be patient..plus the dealers will be making better offers on financing as well...believe me I know, I shopped for our bike for a year before we settled for the one we have now.
     
    I think it's great he's done his home work and is taking the class..sounds like he might be growing up before your eyes[;)]
     
    Good luck, keep us posted, I'm in your corner
    • Gold Top Dog
    I would not want my son on one, but your son has shown some maturity. He has done well in school, he knows what his next goal is and he has shown that he will be responsible with the bike. I think it's great that he is going to take a class.  I think that even if you do not co-sign for this bike he will try and get a cheaper one on his own. I would just talk with him and tell him your concern about the bike. He is 19 and now an adult. As hard as this will be, he is going to have to learn on his own.  
     
    I do not think I would co-sign, sure they will be pissed for a while, but I would not like worrying that I helped him get the bike and wait everyday for a phone call to know he is safe. As I've said I'm sure he will get a bike with or without your help, but I would rather it be without my help.
    • Gold Top Dog
    I can't really make any detailed comments, since obviously you know your son better than I do, but I will say this:  I agree that he has shown some maturity, getting good grades and his willingness to take a class are evidence of that.  I also have a friend who was the most immature guy you could possibly imagine.  He joined the UK air force and I didn't see him for a couple of months.  When he came back, he was totally changed.  He's courteous, a gentleman, responsible with his money and his life.  I admire him and am much prouder to call him my friend.  This may not happen with your son, but it is a possibility.
     
    Is there any way you could make him wait, but sweeten the deal a little bit?  Tell him that you WILL co-sign for the bike in 6 months or so when prices are better, and on top of that, I dunno, buy him a set of leathers to wear while riding it.  Bribery maybe, but it might be worth it to you for the extra six months of growing up. 
     
    I'm not father to a 19 year old so this may be useless advice. 
     
    Kate
    • Gold Top Dog
    They scare me...that said, if he doesn't have a car, a bike is really not a practical vehicle if it is his only one.  I might take that approach, and cosign for a car.  Is every girl going to want to get on a bike for a date?  
    • Gold Top Dog
    They do get good gas mileage compared to cars. My SO has a Sporty and he gets around 45 mpg.
    Is he planning on wearing a helmet? Maybe you could make that a must as part of the deal. (Not sure if there's a helmet law in IL, there's not one in WI)
    What year bike did he price out? The '07 Sportsters are now fuel-injected, so the he could probably get a good deal on an '06 (if he wants a carb [:'(]).
    • Gold Top Dog
    If he's getting ready to join the Air Force, he most likely doesn't know where he'll be stationed following basic and tech school, right?  You might ask him to consider postponing it for a short time and see where he's stationed.  The idea of a bike might not seem so appealing in some locations where it snows all winter.  If he gets stationed in Calif., he'll have to wear a helmet [:)], so if that's an issue for him, he needs to consider it.  Anyway, it's just something to discuss with him.
     
     
    • Silver
    This is a touchy subject for me, I have a 17 year old that has been wanting a bike. I also had a younger brother killed 3 years ago on his bike. I told my son when he is not living in my house, he can get a bike. I also don't think I would co-sign for a loan for my 19 year old.
    I'm assuming he plans on taking the bike to wherever he is stationed? if so, might be easier for him to just buy a bike there.
     
     
    • Gold Top Dog
    I am deathly afraid of motorcycles, given the fact that I have had 2 friends die in accidents this past year. But I must admit they abused the bike and paid a hard price.
     
    If he has shown responsibility and maturity then I guess it would be ok, but only if he is careful at all times.
     
    I wouldnt cosign though, he may be the most responsible boy/man on earth but your credit is sacred, and I wouldnt loan it to ANYONE, you never know what may happen
    • Gold Top Dog
    My mom had a policy with music when I was a teenager.  There were certain bands *ahem* Marilyn Manson, that she did not support and did not want me to listen to, but she knew that I would find a way, so she said that if I wanted to listen to "that music" then I had to pay for it myself whether I was employed or not.
     
    Of course, I amassed a sizable collection anyway, but it took a lot of work.  However, I at least always knew what her limits were and where she stood.  It would have been some inconsistant parenting for her to say "Well, I don't want to listening to this music, but I'll buy you the CD for Christmas anyway."
     
    I don't know a whole lot about bikes, but I do believe that a Sportster is a crotch rocket, no?  Why not refuse to sign for the Sportster and let him buy a bike that is a step or two below in power and speed?  If he can demonstrate that he is mature enough for something more powerful, then you will cosign--kind of like motercycle NILIF.
     
    • Gold Top Dog
    Thanks to everyone who has responded.  You have given me some good ideas and much to think about.  Let me address some things in particular.
     
    >>Those crotch rockets scare the beegeezers out of me and thats what my son wants!!! <<
     
    My nephew has one and I have ridden it several times.  It is incredibly fast.  You can pull the front wheel off the ground, just by goosing it, in second gear.  Yeah, just what your 18 year old kid needs.  I assume you are on your way to the bike shop with him now?  [:D]

    To your point though, yes, at least he is looking at a Harley and not a crotch rocket.  Everything is relative, I guess.
     
    >>sounds like he might be growing up before your eyes<<
     
    Every now and then, there is a glimmer of hope from him.  He is a good boy, he really is.  But he is just a boy.  I don't give a *hit what the law says.  Not only did he graduate 3rd in his class, but he got the grades while working 20 hours a week at Subway.  I am proud of him, but sometimes he can make the stupidest decisions.  I don't know where he gets that.  I certainly didn't make any stupid decisions when I was 19.  I couldn't.  I was married and had a baby at 19, so clearly, he didn't get his stupid decision making ability from me.  [:)]
     
    >>He is 19 and now an adult<<
     
    He is 19 going on 15, if you know what I mean.  For a smart kid, you never saw someone so immature.
     
    >>He joined the UK air force and I didn't see him for a couple of months.  When he came back, he was totally changed.  He's courteous, a gentleman, responsible with his money and his life.  I admire him and am much prouder to call him my friend.  This may not happen with your son, but it is a possibility. <<
     
    It will probably happen.  It worked that way for me too.  You might be a smart a$$ed kid, but you don't get very many opportunities to tell a drill sergeant to kiss your butt.  They don't like it very well.  [:)]  The military does have a way of making men out of boys and they do it very well.

    >>if he doesn't have a car, a bike is really not a practical vehicle <<
     
    He has a car, which I helped him to buy.
     
    >>Is every girl going to want to get on a bike for a date? <<
     
    Not EVERY girl, for sure, but those who do, put out, and  there is NOTHING more important than that to a 19 year old boy.  [:)]
     
    >>I'm not father to a 19 year old so this may be useless advice.  <<
     
    Your advice was excellent.
     
    >>If he's getting ready to join the Air Force, he most likely doesn't know where he'll be stationed following basic and tech school, right? <<
     
    He will be stationed in Texas.
     
    >>I wouldnt cosign though, he may be the most responsible boy/man on earth but your credit is sacred, and I wouldnt loan it to ANYONE, you never know what may happen <<
     
    I thought about that too, but it is only an $8,000 bike.  It isn't like I can't afford to pay for it, in the unlikely event that he can't, and he knows that.  That being said, I did consider telling him that I wouldn't co-sign because I couldn't afford to make the payment, but I know he knows better.
     
    >>I don't know a whole lot about bikes, but I do believe that a Sportster is a crotch rocket, no?  Why not refuse to sign for the Sportster and let him buy a bike that is a step or two below in power and speed?<<
     
    Harleys are not especially powerful motorcycles.  A Harley is NOT what I would classify as a "crotch rocket."  There are far faster motorcycles available for a lot less money.
     
     
     
     
    • Gold Top Dog
    No real advice here since Cathy asked what I thought of - where he will be stationed.
     
    I had a friend who died at 18 in a motorcycle accident only a few months after he got out of Marine boot camp.  Horribly tragic - and he was wearing a helmet.
     
    Doesn't seem to be many solutions except "not just no but hell no" I won't co-sign.
    • Gold Top Dog
    >>If he's getting ready to join the Air Force, he most likely doesn't know where he'll be stationed following basic and tech school, right? <<

    He will be stationed in Texas


    Wow, maybe things changed, but you used to find out where you'd be stationed after basic training or tech school.  Good for him, if he already knows, but maybe you could use the "why don't you wait till you get settled in down in Texas to see if it works for you there?"  If he already has a car, he'd need to be able to transport the car and bike there, and that might be a hassle. 

    My DH had wanted a Harley and probably would have gotten one by now had he not pursued the EMT/fire fighter career path.   They see firsthand what can happen and it totally cured his desire - thank goodness!  I do understand the attraction though.  When I was younger (and not a big chicken, like now), I dated a guy with a Harley and loved riding around on the back of it.
     
    Edited to add - after seeing Amy's post and having missed Billy's comment - not all girls that ride on the back of motorcycles put out [:)]
    • Gold Top Dog
    >>Is every girl going to want to get on a bike for a date? <<

    Not EVERY girl, for sure, but those who do, put out, and there is NOTHING more important than that to a 19 year old boy.

     
    wow
    • Gold Top Dog
    ORIGINAL: loveukaykay

    wow

     
    Yeah, I was disappointed that my comment there didn't attract more attention than it did.  The only thing I can conclude is that apparently everyone agrees.  [:)]