Don't you want a....

I can sympathize w/ both sides how's that for being neutral?
 
I am currently 21 and engaged; I too have been asked when I'm planning on having kids, and my fiance's mother has even asked him when she should be expecting a grandchild! [8|]  It's annoying, and I'm even planning on having a kid or two.
 
The interesting thing I have run into is that many people can't even understand the idea of waiting a while after a wedding to get pregnant.  Scott and I are planning a wedding for 2008 and don't plan to have children until about 7 or 8 years after that.  I'm selfish and want him all too myself, plus have time to compete in dog agility for a while with the dog I'm adopting in about 18 mo.
 
I like kids, tho it does take me a while to warm up to them.  I have one little girl I babysat every once in a while and she volunteered to be my flower girl when she found out I was engaged even though it had been about 3 or 4 years since she had seen me, so I know I'm good with kids lol.  My fiance's little brother is obnoxious - he's 3 and has few boundaries - but he likes me and listens decently when Scott or I tell him to do something.
 
Given all that, I can imagine having one child (or maybe 2), but I know I need to be older before I jump into it.  People just don't get planning like that I think, and it's hard to explain when some people insist that having a child doesn't change your life in a big way.
 
My friend had her son at 20 and he's a sweet little boy; she's done a tremendous job raising him thus far.  I've seen how much work she puts in as a mom and college student, and how this has changed her life.  And though it would be cool if we had kids that could grow up together, I know I'm nowhere near ready to be responsible like that; a Border Collie mix is all I can handle right now.  []
 
And yes, like many of those above, I cannot stand kids throwing tantrums in public!  You can bet I'll apply my training knowledge to my future child(ren) to prevent that from happening on my watch. 

Ah Glenda, always the voice of reason ^_^  And relax people, when I said I would be the next baby killer I wasn't serious.  All it was was a statement that attests to my lack of patience.
 
I'm not mommy material, I wouldn't hesitate to backhand a kid to make it be quiet.  It wouldn't even be a concious thought.  I just get so stressed out by the noise and the constant "NO! I WON'T!" that I just can't stand it, and I react in a violent manner.
 
I can't reason with a child or a teenager, they drive me nuts.  I have, in my short 20 (almost 21) years of life almost NEVER spent time with kids my own age group!  I've always been with the "grownups" because I can't stand the behavior of my peers, or of those younger than me.
 
My mother is one of those people that has a brat for a kid.  She gives him everything he wants, says no, but never follows through with it, because she just wants him to shut the heck up.  He screams at her, makes demands that are always met, it's awful.  That rotten kid won't even get out of the shower by himself because he's "scared".  If you're old enough to get in a shower by yourself, you're old enough to get out.
 
If he were my kid, he'd be in for a very very very rude awakening.  Quite honestly, he's one of the reasons that I've practically moved in with the BF, so I don't have to be near him, and he's caused several problems between my mother and I, which we didn't need more of since we really don't get on all that well to begin with.

Very harshly said but I am the same way. I do not want children and doubt I ever will. Everyone tells me I am only 24 and I will have a child some day. My mom keeps telling me "I want at least one grandchild" and I tell her you have Nico, Weston, marley, Roxy, Cuddles and Lucy, that's all your getting!
 
I dont want a child of my own but I do enjoy playing with my friend's children. They are super cute and fun to play with and then give them back to mommy! My 12 year old neice lived with us from the time she was an infant. I was only 14 or so at the time and me and my mom pretty much raised her. I learned from that I have no buisness having a child. I get annoyed with them too quickly and my dogs/cats are just fine with me.
 
*l* I always tell people I prefer having dogs over children because dogs can be put in the back yard when you need a "time out" from them.
 
I tend to agree with Glenda about today's children also. Children nowdays in general are so disrespectful, they get everything they want, they are pushy, they backtalk. I only visit my mom & family about once every three months. My niece gets on my nerves within 10 minuts. She is so ungreatful and mean and disrespectful and the thing about is she knows better! Last time I was there I said something to her about being ungreatful toward my mom & her boyfriend (who spent $300+ on fireworks for her & her friend), and she appologized. She knew she was doing something wrong. You know there are songs out too like that "Bossy" song, that is stupid, the music nowdays is encouraging kids to be disrespectful and ungreatful. (I know I am a "young one" too, and I know I was probalby a brat when i was young but at least I was somewhat greatful and respectful).

No...but just about every dog out there has barked or growled, even if only in play, or pooped or peed in public....the people who dislike dogs use your same means of sterotyping behavior and then rationalizing their sterotyping...to "explain" their views on why dogs are annoying and make their lives a lot more difficult to live peacefully. 
 
Society and your own families may indeed be pressuring you...but last I checked no one at IDog was randomly running around chastizing the members without kids...for not having them? But plenty has sure been said about people with children by those who do not have them...
 
My personal opinion is that the words being directed at children, and the people who have them are edging toward mean spirited, and I personally am now going to tag my kid related threads so you guys out there suffering so much won't have to read them....hopefully that special effort on my part can help you feel better. I would appreciate the same respect be shown if you choose to start a thread on how bad children are and how much you dislike them in future.

Man..I wish I could have had that question thrown at me. I am 29 and I have 4 boys. They were born when I was 21, 22, 24 and 27.  I always get the "Are you going to have more?" "You DO know how babies are made right?" and when I announced that we were having Deacon.."Weren't three enough?" "You and your husband should be sleeping in separate rooms."  BTW, Deacon was our last. DH got snipped before Deacon was born. My favorite one, "What did you want to do with your life?" Roll eyes.

I am one of those women who birth control does NOT work for. I hate it when people ask me those questions. How do I respond? Do I mention the 3 other "surprise" pregnancies that miscarried? It disturbs me how many people are insensitive when it comes to the choice of having children.

--Sara

ORIGINAL: rwbeagles

No...but just about every dog out there has barked or growled, even if only in play, or pooped or peed in public....the people who dislike dogs use your same means of sterotyping behavior and then rationalizing their sterotyping...to "explain" their views on why dogs are annoying and make their lives a lot more difficult to live peacefully. 
 
Society and your own families may indeed be pressuring you...but last I checked no one at IDog was randomly running around chastizing the members without kids...for not having them? But plenty has sure been said about people with children by those who do not have them...
 
My personal opinion is that the words being directed at children, and the people who have them are edging toward mean spirited, and I personally am now going to tag my kid related threads so you guys out there suffering so much won't have to read them....hopefully that special effort on my part can help you feel better. I would appreciate the same respect be shown if you choose to start a thread on how bad children are and how much you dislike them in future.

 
Excuse ME, but I did NOT start this thread.  And, the last time I checked, there was nothing FORCING you to read every thread.  If you don't like it, don't read it.  I'm NOT breaking any rules.  I'm not attacking anyone personally.  This is idog, not ichild.  I was not aware that I had to love children to join.  Did Jamie just add that rule or something?

DH and I are childfree and I really don't like kids either but this thread is getting really heated and I feel some of the comments are a little *too* harsh...from both sides.

Ladies!!
 
Gina, I'm sure you are NOT one of the parents I was discussing.  And I might even enjoy being around your children, because it's not ALLL children I dont want to be around...it's the rude and mouthy ones who seem to be raising themselves.  You don't strike me as that type of parent.
 
There HAVE been some pretty mean things said here about kids...and I've said some of them because those things are my PERSONAL OPINION.  And, each and every one of us should be allowed to express those, as long as we aren't intending to inflict pain on one another.
 
Let's me nice, ok?

First paragraph was for sillysally....the rest was more general..so sorry that wasn't made clear, my bad.
 
I've decided to tag my posts for your and others comfort, an effort to make it easier for people to not read things that do not interest them. I think it's the least I can do to make NDR a bit less traumatic for people to read thru.

I have 3 kids. 2 boys who are like having 10 in the same room. My kids have respect for adults, are loving kind smart kids. And they fight and whine and break things here and there on accident. All around I have to say my kids are great and I did a wonderful job. I did not like when I would go to church and the elders asked me to please sit in the glass room because my baby is crying or singing a wiggles song.  I have kids and the way I see it is if you don't like that my kid is laughing or singing or crying because they got hurt. Thats your problem. I am very motherly. If I could I would have another 3.  (Just can't convince DH for that one [])
 
I don't have a problem with people who do not want children, but don't put down those of us that do. Reading some of these things is like being slapped in the face, and maybe you wont ever understand that point of view until or if you ever have children of your own.  Mothers are very protective of their children. And not just their own. 
 
We do deal with the kid pitching a fit, being barfed on at 2 am, crying until no end because your Dora doll's head just fell off.  I find it offensive to read some of the mean things that were said about children in this thread.  I'm a mother, that is what I chose to be. You do not and that is fine but please don't talk badly about something I thank God for everyday.
 
 
P.S.   Sara D I soooooo get those things said to em all the time.

Whatever.  It's just that this has been a very difficult issue to deal with for me.  I thought this was a halfway safe place to vent.  I won't be making THAT mistake twice.

Just wanna throw in my [sm=2cents.gif]
 
1. It's very good that someone knows they're not 'mother material' BEFORE having kids.  My MIL's daughter (from another marriage) had not one but TWO kids and is NOT raising either of them simply because she doesn't have a 'motherly bone in her body'.  The grandparents are raising these kids.  It's for the best tho, the kids are loved where they are and will never go without. 
 
2. It's sad when someone knows they're mother material but can't have children.  I've seen many women in the small town I live in that want children so badly only to have 3 or more miscarriages and never the little bundle of joy they so wish to have. 
 
3.  I'm one of these people that got married six months out of HS.  In less than one year, the questions started.... when are you going to start a family?  They bombarded my parents as well as his and to all those questions, they answered 'when the time is right, they'll have kids, IF they want them'.  I've been married almost 12 years now and we still only have the furry, four legged kids... that's ok with us.  We know eventually we want them and when God thinks it's the right time, I'm sure he'll bless us with one, if it's His will.  Until then, I'll have to listen to "don't you want kids? don't you like kids? can't you have kids? is something wrong with you or your husband? don't you think you're getting up there in age?".  That's fine... sometimes I say I can't have them or I don't like them just to get a reaction because I don't think it's any of their business, sometimes I just don't answer at all... but small town folks love to make MY business THEIR business. 
 
4.  There are people who hate kids, hate dogs, hate cats, hate men, hate women, hate republican or democrats... I don't understand all the hatred.  Can't we all just get along? [sm=wink3.gif]

Gina-
 
My comments wernt directed toward you either. I said children in general. I know there are some great parents, some of my friends are great parents and I would never hold having a child against them. It changed their lives and in a good way. However, I am one of those people who dont want to have children.
 
I think it is great when people start a familiy and have children. I just dont want it for myself. Very few people can dispute that in general children nowdays are mouthy and disrespectful. The other day I was driving down my road and saw two neighbor kids playing in their yard. As I approached the older boy pushed the younger boy in front of my car!!! (I wasnt going fast at all, because kids tend to do things like that.) I really wish I had talked to their parents but nowdays, parents in general would just say "they are being kids". I sure gave the kids a talking to and I doubt they will ever pull that kind of stuff with me around again.
 
You might be a wonderful parent, but that doesnt mean that other parents are as responsible or caring with their children.
 
I will even top that I enjoy hearing about everyone on here's children...
 
 

I KNOW today is the full moon but come on folks...take a deep breath, step away from the PC, get a sip of tea and PLEASE remember this is a dog forum where many people are different and have different views....openess is fine, opinions are fine but...RUDE behavior and replies are not acceptable..behave or I'll be smacking fingers!!

Again, I am a Mother.  I too thanked God for my children.  BUT, I did not ever believe that THEIR right to sing a silly song superceeded another parishioners right to say, HEAR the sermon, or maybe PRAY.  There needs to be respect for the rights of others regardless of how protective you are as a parent.