Kate
Posted : 4/6/2006 11:51:28 AM
Deb, 6 months seems like such a short time and we were partially thankful we had longer than that. I say partially because that experience was such a mixed blessing. We all hated watching her suffer but loved that we were able to get closure and say what we needed to say and our goodbyes. I think people at the hospital thought we were completely nuts 'cuz when she finally passed away (I actually watched her take her last breath and I will tell ya, I will cherish that forever) we were all so happy and saying "Thank God!" It was just time. She deserved the peace and rest she lacked for years. I find it funny how I THOUGHT all the "firsts" would be the most painful but in all honesty, I found all the seconds really hard and I'm having a harder time now than I did when she first passed away. I guess it finally sunk in.
She hated the fact that I shifted my priorities and made her #1. She felt it was unfair for me (I was around 23-24 yrs old) to give up so much. She said at my age I wasn't suppose to carry such a heavy burden of taking care of her and taking on the "Mom" role for my younger brother and the "wife" role for my dad. She felt I needed to be doing what all 23-24 yrs olds were doing, which was enjoying life, hanging out w/ friends, etc. I told her I was 100%, absolutely and completely happy with the decision I made and I would do it a million times over without even taking a second to think about it.
Anyway, thanks for listening...