9/11 Chat

(((HUGS))) Karen - for everything.  I know the doc thinks its his toe, but can't he do something about it?

I also get very overwhelmed on this day.  Yesterday at the office (I work in a tall high rise) we heard and felt a HUGE BOOM and the building shook.  We all ran to the windows to see what it was.  Well, I pirate ship that had been stationed on the river outside the building for Navy Week shot off a "cannon" and it rocked the building.  We got a email 3 minutes later apologizing for the no notice.  But man, it scared us to death.

So I met this mom when RIley and I first went to the stables.  She has three special needs kids and is frankly keeping it together very well.  I couldn't imagine and admire her for that.  She and I have very different personalities and she is very very very high strung.  I am nuts, and she makes me look like I am on downers.  Anyway, she keeps contacting me via email - like 3 - 4x a day.  Some I am on email lists and others its just me.  How do I tell her to back off and is it rude I even want her to (Italian guilt seeping in)?  She's big into vitamins and supplements etc and I personally believe in them for some things, but very leery giving my 5 year a TON of supplements.  Most of her emails are about this and asking me if I want to her pick some up for me, etc.  She has a huge Albanian family (think Italian but more) so it's not like she is alone.  I don't know, I feel bad blowing her off but she's coming on so strong.

I think most of us get very emotional when we remember those who lost their lives in that horrible attack.  I don't think any of us will forget where we were the day the world stopped turning, as Alan Jackson said in his song. 

Karen, I'm sorry Bugsy is limping so badly. 

Lisa, can you block her email addy? The passive aggressive approach, I know. Other than that, I'd politely thank her for her concern, state that you've got a treatment plan and a support system, and if anything changes, that you will get in touch with her.

It's not rude, IMO, to want her to back off. Personally, I don't do well with that type of person suddenly overwhelming me with advice when I don't even know him/her. Heck, I don't even like people I know telling me what to do.

Lisa, she may have family but its really not the same as having friends. She has a lot on her plate and is probably desperate to communicate with someone on an adult level, but frankly...may have forgotten how.

I would really, be an honest as I could be, "I think you are very nice to offer your supplement regimen and to want to chat...but I am super busy and emailing a lot is not something I can do, or wish to do. I know you can understand, hopefully we can see each other at lesson time." This will probably be the best thing IMO it conveys that you appreciate her attempts but are in control of your own friendships and you also kind of let her know she is a "lesson time" person vs a "friend" at this point...ya know? I find honesty is best. I too would be like "whoa girl...take a breath ya?"

eta: Had to switch browsers to get some paragraphs LOL!

We are going to a baseball game tonight WHEE! Hubs scored some tix off his co worker, so they were the best kind FREE, and right behind home plate. We have to bring the kiddos so we can't stay the whole game probably but it will be a fun outing nonetheless.

 Sorry to hear about B's limp :( How bad is it? Can you take a video? Does it seem to alter his mood at all or is it just a limp? I would be frustrated in your situation as well if there's nothing you can really do about it :(

Lisa, hmm, I think what Tina suggested is good. You probably need to go the direct, polite approach with her so she gets it. I would say something like As of right now, I don't want to add anymore (or change up) her supplements, but thank you very much for your offer. I would not be comfortable giving a 5 yo a bunch of supplements either, especially without talking to the doc first.

Not much going on here today. The weather looks beautiful and I'm working from home so I will likely bbq some lunch today. Very exciting, I know ;)

I kind of feel like I have the beginnings of a cold coming on. Hopefully it is just allergies.

I talked to my gma in the hospital yesterday. Wow is she ever out of it. She couldn't form a complete sentence and kept forgetting words she was trying to say or even the topic we were talking about. We muddled through it though and I had her laughing a bit so that was good. I think the hospital is going to declare her unsound/dementia, or whatever they call it so my mom can finally get her into full time care. She has refused up until now. If only my gpa would agree. He has diabetes in the worst way and really can't take care of himself any longer either. They both need assisted living at a bare minimum. 

I hate this day.

Deb W.

Jewlieee

They both need assisted living at a bare minimum. 

Hope its just allergies - FWIW mine are pretty significant right now

Lisa - keep in mind my tendency is to be blunt and honest - I would ask her to take you off the email lists and explain that its not appropriate for you to receive so many emails at work. And say thanks for the info on the supplements however Riley is doing fabulous with the treatment she is receiving so you won't be doing anything additional at this point. Should you, in the future, want to add supplements you know how to contact her.

In my work with families I have noted that many families with multiple HC kids get so overwhelmed they tend to not have boundaries with anyone. Which is what it sounds like with this woman, her life is no doubt frenetic, very sad, but you have no need to feel guilty about having boundaries yourself.

iluvjamison

I hate this day.

Deb W.

(((((Deb))))) 

JackieG

iluvjamison

I hate this day.

Deb W.

(((((Deb))))) 

Ditto ((((Deb)))))

Karen - I think that's it exactly its like she doesn't have any boundaries.  Within 1 minute of meeting her I literally knew everything about her/her kids and she starting asking a ton of questions about Riley.  Is she this?  Is she that?  What does she take?  Who's your state advocate? Etc.  WOW.  I am pretty open with people, but geesh like GIna said "Whoa Lady".  Knowing her culture she probably doesn't have a lot of friends outside of her family.  Albanians are like Italians - relatives are plently, frequent, in your face and everywhere.  In fact her sister goes everywhere with her.  They were nice, but I will say I was dreading seeing her on Sunday when we went.

It is official, I am OCD.  I looked at the detail list I wrote up for my mom for Riley (what she likes, bus times, movies, etc.).  I stopped myself when I started suggesting a meal plan for each day.  LOL

Jewlieee

I talked to my gma in the hospital yesterday. Wow is she ever out of it. She couldn't form a complete sentence and kept forgetting words she was trying to say or even the topic we were talking about. We muddled through it though and I had her laughing a bit so that was good. I think the hospital is going to declare her unsound/dementia, or whatever they call it so my mom can finally get her into full time care. She has refused up until now. If only my gpa would agree. He has diabetes in the worst way and really can't take care of himself any longer either. They both need assisted living at a bare minimum. 

I am sorry Julie.  I know how it felt when I realized my Granny wasn't my Granny anymore and she didn't know what was going on.  (((HUGS)))

Julie - I'm so sorry about your gma :(. I know how heartbreaking it was when my dad was fading away mentally. (((Hugs)))

Karen - I'm sorry Bugsy is hurting even more. I hope the ortho doc can give you some better answers.

Lisa - I've met people similar to the woman you're describing and I know how difficult it can be to walk the line of being friendly but keeping some space. Good luck!

Count me in with those who hate today - probably not as much as those who lost a loved one though :(. DH usually does the memorial stair climb but because he's just getting off work this morning, he didn't sign up for it.

He emailed me last night that he'd asked his Capt for help with the insurance issue and she said she'd forward it to the Chief. I still honestly can't believe that I never heard back from the city's benefits person or the other admin person who said she'd help yesterday. If I dropped the ball like that, I'd lose my job.

My thoughts are with the families of those that passed 11 years ago.

ETA: I see I missed Johnny last night ***waves to Johnny***  Good luck with class. 

Also had to laugh at Gina's rendition of using a toothbrush :)

I, too, get way too emotional  on this date, but at the same time I don't ever want to get so hard that nothing bothers me. 

DH is overseeing the tile installation.   He's called me seven times this morning.  I hope he doesn't drive the tile installers to drinking.  I could use a bloody mary this morning.

Lisa, I agree that you should be honest with that woman because people who don't respect other's boundaries don't usually recognize this fault unless you're fairly blunt.