Tired Thursday Talk

griffinej5

I got scratched up at work today, and the poor little girl I work with has been sick all week, so I haven't seen her. I didn't quite catch what she has, but the doctor said it could be up to two weeks. The poor kid. The other one, the one who scratched me up, I'm so glad that after tomorrow, I won't see him until next Saturday. We are so done and over each other at this point. I am so done and over with his mom at this point actually. Parents, do not laugh at your child's inappropriate behavior. If your child is capable of something, albeit it not really great at it, let him do it. I taught that boy to eat with a spoon 5 years ago. He does not need help with using a spoon (he can't use a fork by himself, so I did help him eat something that he needed a fork for earlier this week). If there is food on the other side of the plate, he'll push it back with his own spoon if he is hungry and wants to eat it. I will not do it for him, don't tell me to do it for him, and don't come over and do it for him. I have invested hundreds of hours of my life (and altogether, hundreds of thousands of dollars have been spent) towards helping him become the capable young man that he is, but he still has a very long way to go. If people treat him like he is incapable, and do things for him he can do on his own, he will let them. He will become incapable, because it's all the more easier for him to let others do for him. Some day, his mom will not be there to do for him, and wait on him, and I don't want to see him end up in the kinds of places he might just end up if he can't care for himself at all. I really hope one of his sisters will provide for him when his parents aren't around, but they aren't required to do that, nor should they be. However, I know we make that a greater possibility by giving him more skills. The less they have to do for him, the more likely they are to be able to do it.

Excellent post!

 Thanks guys. I know I'm pretty tough on all the kids, but I also think I'm usually pretty nice to them. I know it's tough not to do for them when you've done it for years, and for the guys I work with, it's usually a lot longer than typical. I mean, I taught this kid to feed himself at age 6.5, so he'd clearly been having that done for him far longer than normal. I don't ask him to do anything for himself he can't do, but I often ask him to do things himself that I know are very hard for him. I know it's hard to see him struggle to do things. I know sometimes, you just want to get it done.  I also know that the more skills you have, the better you can care for yourself, the better a place you can live, and the better chances you have of staying with family. I know if you can care for yourself, the less worry there is of you being neglected. If you can do it yourself, there's no need to worry about whether someone will remember to do for you, or will get around to it. I will be tough, because I know just how crappy a place these kids can end up if nobody pushes.

Jen and Gina, you're both doing you're best to be the best at doing the toughest of jobs. 

griffinej5

 Thanks guys. I know I'm pretty tough on all the kids, but I also think I'm usually pretty nice to them. I know it's tough not to do for them when you've done it for years, and for the guys I work with, it's usually a lot longer than typical. I mean, I taught this kid to feed himself at age 6.5, so he'd clearly been having that done for him far longer than normal. I don't ask him to do anything for himself he can't do, but I often ask him to do things himself that I know are very hard for him. I know it's hard to see him struggle to do things. I know sometimes, you just want to get it done.  I also know that the more skills you have, the better you can care for yourself, the better a place you can live, and the better chances you have of staying with family. I know if you can care for yourself, the less worry there is of you being neglected. If you can do it yourself, there's no need to worry about whether someone will remember to do for you, or will get around to it. I will be tough, because I know just how crappy a place these kids can end up if nobody pushes.

Raising my hand in guilt.  Not doing is one of the hardest things, ever.  When Riley wen to school we were so worried about the whole potty thing.  She NEVER pulled up her own pants at home.  Come to find out on the first day of school I asked the teacher and she said she did it (a few times in fact) all by herself.  She is definitely guilty of the attitude, why do it myself when someone else will.  It is hard, but it's something we have to remind ourselves every day, especially when it comes to writing.  She hates coloring, etc. and will just had the pen, crayon, marker to you and say "you do it".  We are working around it, taking turns, etc.

 I work with guys though who will probably need assistance throughout their lives. Well, right now I do, at least the boys. I work with a girl who will probably be able to go out on her own. I love him though, and he cracks me up, and  he's usually so good. He doesn't usually give me a hard time, but it's been a tough week. I'm glad though that after tomorrow, I've got three days in a row off.

So, I'm not even sure where to go with this. My one sister is now telling me the other one asked my mom how to kill her cat. Do I report this to the cruelty investigation team at the SPCA, or what the hell do I do there? Yeah, that's not a person who belongs having a cat, let alone a child.