Dog Community

MEMO TO: All Pets

Posted : 3/15/2006 3:47:26 PM

MEMO TO: All Pets

Dear Dogs and Cats,
When I say to move, it means go someplace else,
not switch positions with each other so there are still two of you
in the way.

The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The
other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a
paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim
for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that
aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack.
Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't
help, because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king size bed. I am very sorry
about this. Do not think I will continue to sleep on the couch to
ensure your comfort. Look at videos of dogs and cats sleeping, they
can actually curl up in a ball. It is not necessary to sleep
perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent
possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having
tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space used is nothing
but sarcasm.

My compact discs are not miniature Frisbees.

For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If
by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut,
it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob, or
get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must
exit through the same door I entered. In addition, I have been
using bathrooms for years - canine or feline attendance is not
mandatory.

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cats'
butt. I cannot stress this enough. It would be such a simple change
for you.

To pacify you I have posted the following message on our front
door...

Rules for Non-Pet Owners Who Visit and Like to Complain About Our
Pets:

1. They live here. You don't.

2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the
furniture.

3. I like my pet a lot better than I like most people.

4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter
who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.

ashland

Posted : 3/15/2006 3:54:11 PM

I love it! Very cute. [

]

labcrab

Posted : 3/15/2006 4:14:42 PM

Do not think I will continue to sleep on the couch to
ensure your comfort

LOve this - DH gets kicked to the sofa at least a few times a week cause of Slicky.

It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space used is nothing but sarcasm.

Sarcasm which goes totally unappreciated after several sleepless nights..

Thanks for posting this - it's hilarious!

sooner

Posted : 3/15/2006 4:16:17 PM

ORIGINAL: mariana

[font="arial, verdana, helvetica"]I have been
using bathrooms for years - canine or feline attendance is not
mandatory.

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cats'
butt. I cannot stress this enough.

Too true!!

marlania

Posted : 3/15/2006 4:50:19 PM

[font="arial, verdana, helvetica"]MEMO TO: All Pets

Dear Dogs and Cats,
When I say to move, it means go someplace else,
not switch positions

I have been using bathrooms for years - canine or feline attendance is not mandatory.

Brown and Grey still don't get that "move" means "out of my way." They really do switch places.

And, I swear, the bathroom reference was written for my crew. Everytime I don't close the door, I'm joined by Grey sitting in the bathtub, Brown sitting on the bath rug, Charlie sitting by the sink, and Deuce at my feet.

fuzzy_dogs_mom

Posted : 3/15/2006 6:01:46 PM

I have NEVER had a dog who really understood what *move* meant. To Max, and his predecessors, *move* always meant *stand up, turn around a couple of times & lay back down in the exact same spot.*[

]

luv_my_3_labs

Posted : 3/15/2006 7:19:40 PM

OMG, who ever wrote this was hiding out in my house. lol,lol loved it.

nigguysmom

Posted : 3/16/2006 8:26:45 AM

So are you guys saying that when you say "Move" your dogs actually move? Mine are sure that I am speaking another language and just stand there looking at me like "Please speak English"

"The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack.
Beating me to the bottom is not the object."[color=#000000] Now you are just talking crazy!!![/color]

twelvepaws

Posted : 3/16/2006 9:20:34 AM

When I say to move, it means go someplace else,
not switch positions with each other so there are still two of you
in the way.

My favorite quote, too! When Isis is standing in the kitchen and I ask her to move, she switches to her right or left about two inches.