Monday moaning

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    No good deed goes unpunished.  I'm living that this afternoon.

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    JackieG
    Too many people let family expectations/obligations spoil their holidays. The fact is that few of us have a Hallmark family and it does become so depressing to dread the holidays.

    Oh, this reminds me of one of my all-time favorite Saturday Night Live sketches from years ago when Al Franken did the Stuart Smalley character (he wore V-neck cable stitch sweaters and was always saying affirmations to himself in the mirror, "I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and doggone it, people like me.";)

    The sketch was about him deciding whether or not to go home to see his family for Thanksgiving.  He was weighing the pros and cons, lamenting how he'd feel guilty if he didn't go, but dreading the usual drama if he did go (his father was an alcoholic, his sister's boyfriend was a thug, etc.)  The funniest line was when he said, "Sometimes I fantasize that Norman Rockwell is at one of our Al-Anon meetings and stands up and says, 'My name is Norman, and I paint lies.' Big Smile

    Even without Stuart's level of family dysfunction, being with relatives on a holiday isn't always as "warm and fuzzy" as it's supposed to be.  Having a holiday celebration with friends (or just on your own) can be much less stressful.  A holiday in Vegas sounds like a hoot -- enjoy, Barb!

    I'm sorry about the "baby brain," Nicole.  I'm not a mother, so I haven't experienced that, but unfortunately, I can second the comment Tina posted.  The brain and memory starts behaving less reliably once you're in your 40's!

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    Yep, I'll have to agree with the menopause brain. It's actually scary sometimes how ditzy I feel. The only saving grace is that now that I'm older, I worry less about looking foolish Stick out tongue

    Tina - sorry about DS having other plans. I'd love to be close enough to do something with you but I doubt you'd enjoy our family drama any more than we do.

    Tracy - that was funny and I think we'd all appreciate hearing that the Norman Rockwell imagery is just that and not real.

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    JackieG
    No good deed goes unpunished. 

    We say that EVERY DAY in our dept!!

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    miranadobe

    JackieG
    No good deed goes unpunished. 

    We say that EVERY DAY in our dept!!

    That makes me feel better because we all know "misery loves company" lol   I'm not really miserable but couldn't resist another apt saying. lol

    I remember that SNL skit and I'm cracking up thinking about it. :)

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    miranadobe

     Jen, I think that's a great idea.  I've got to figure out how to present that to the social worker without her taking that as another sign that my grandmother isn't capable of taking care of herself, and therefore should be hospitalized/in nursing care.  Hmm..  My mom is on her way over to my grandmother's now, to meet w/my uncle and her, before the social worker comes over at 2pm...  Good thing I'm on lunch now!

    Thanks for the "out of the box" suggestion, Jen!! :)

     

    Edit - I just talked to my mom and she seemed really enthusiastic about the idea and said to extend her appreciation for the suggestion!  Thanks again, Jen!!  Fingers crossed that will help my grandmother feel a little less overwhelmed by all the people coming and going.  She used to complain she didn't get company, now it's every single day someone is in her space! lol

     

    So glad I could help,and I hope the idea works out well, both with the social worker and for your grandmother. Funny, it seems strange probably for that situation, but we use picture schedules in my field all the time. We don't quite tend use them in that way, well, sometimes we do show the kids who is coming on their schedules. For the kids I work with, a schedule showing them what's happening for the day can really ease a lot of anxiety for them. (Imagine you had no clue what was happening next, all day long, every day of your life- many of us would freak out).

    Presenting things to social workers, that I have never had to do, but I have some experience in presenting things to funding agencies, and trying to justify things. For the most part, it's easier to  cheaper to keep someone in their own home, than to put them in a facility. Or actually, maybe I do know a bit about how to present it. I'm sure the social worker keeps a schedule of some sort to tell her who she is meeting with. I go out to see six different children during the week ( I see everyone a few times, most of them I see two times, one of the kids I see 5 times a week). I keep all of this programmed in my phone. Most of the time, I never really even have to look at it now. It's set, I see the same people at the same times. I  know where I'm supposed to go and who I am going to see.  Last week I had a temporary change in the schedule  (so I actually set alerts to remind me of this). This week, I have an addition, which will become permanent for at least two months (I went from seeing someone two times to seeing him five times). I'll have to look until I get used to that. Anyway, the thing I am suggesting is not much different than what many of us do every day for ourselves... I'm just suggesting you add some pictures to it for her. If the schedule is fairly regular, she'll probably learn it, and only really need it if there's  a change.

    This probably won't help, but I don't remember people, so I look them up on the internet sometimes to try to find pictures to help me remember who they are. 

    So, the person I was supposed to meet never showed up tonight, so that organization is out (or at least with her, if they have an orientation with someone else, I might still consider it). I went out of my way, and I did have something else to do tonight. The place I went to, if I lived closer, I would use that place for my vet, kennel, etc. They were incredibly nice, and apologetic, even though they had nothing to do with it (she was just using their space, no affiliation with them at all). They totally went out of their way to make several phone calls for me to try to figure out what was going on for me.

     

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    NicoleS
    I may not want to hear the answer to this, but is "baby brain" only temporary or will I never be able to think ever again?  Stick out tongue

     

    Baby brain morphs into mommy brain, which isn't as bad. When I was pregnant with Willa I tried unlocking my office door with my car key fob. Embarrassed Luckily nobody saw me.

     

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    janobonano

    NicoleS
    I may not want to hear the answer to this, but is "baby brain" only temporary or will I never be able to think ever again?  Stick out tongue

     

    Baby brain morphs into mommy brain, which isn't as bad. When I was pregnant with Willa I tried unlocking my office door with my car key fob. Embarrassed Luckily nobody saw me

    This is such a true statement.  Mommy brain is nowhere near as bad once you get past about 6 weeks, especially with one child.  And it seems to get better the older and more independent they get.  Add another child into the mix, and well....I am only 4 1/2 months in, and it is significantly easier than it was at first, but I fear I will never be quite the same!  But I also knew what to expect a little more this time, and also feel like I am in more denial about some things too maybe.  Like, how long it took to get past that newborn sleep stage where you are a complete zombie!  With my 2nd, I kept thinking for sure we were past this stage by now....thankfully ,I could look back at my blog and see that we weren't yet and it was not at all abnormal!  There were certain week milestones for me after baby arrived.  Post delivery: About 10 days for the hormones to sort of regulate.  There are TONS of ups and downs between then and lots of crying utter amazement about the birth that just took place.  2 weeks for nursing to not be completely overwhelming...and really, that took me longer with my 2nd, but I knew from my first that it would get easier.  About 6 weeks to start feeling human again and feel like hey, I can actually handle this!  There are more and more, but those are the inital more important ones.  :)

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    Although Mommy brain may seem like a downgrade, you suddently get the ability to handle 50 things at once, while having a conversation, making out a grocery list in your head and changing a diaper...all without blinking an eye.  It's like the brain cells shift.
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    mrstjohnson
    It's like the brain cells shift.

    I like that!  At what point do you grow eyes in the back of your head? Stick out tongue

    Typically I'm the one who can remember *everything* so this is a rather strange adjustment for me.  Although I tried using the beep beep key fob to unlock the house door long BEFORE I was pregnant, so who knows what I will try now!