Sigh, Wednesday chat

I'm kinda stressed out.  So much work to do.  Outlook/Exchange issues are keeping me from doing my job!  I'm pulling my hair out.  Need to plan yet another F2F meeting, but this time in the Bay Area.  Moving right along.

I'm also planning my christmas vacation.  We are traveling!  We decided to fly to Vegas and stay for just a couple of nights.  I have the hotel booked; I have the hooligans boarding booked.  Now, I need our flights and need to book a show and tour.

We will see the Cirque de Soleil Beatles show; and we want to do a helicopter tour of the Grand Canyon.  Planning this vacation is keeping me somewhat sane (relatively speaking).

cakana

Isn't she adorable?!

Glenda, what I hate the worst about my lawn equipment is that it seems like everytime I want to use something it's broke :(  I try so hard to keep my equip in good working order but...... grrrrrrrrrr  Now my sweet hubby doesnt do much of the "outside" stuff cause he cant so I guess it is mostly my fault but everytime something breaks I learn how to fix it next time.  Problem is, next time it is something different, ha!  Hubby refuses to let me have a chain saw, I could really use one around here.  As it is I have to ask a neighbor or hire someone to cut fallen trees.

Cold and windy here, fibro is doing it's best to kick in but I refuse to give in to it today.  Anyone want to come to a "Caulking" party?   Electric guy yesterday said to have one.  LOL, he said if I offer food "They will come" :) 

Hope everyone has a good day. 

CoBuHe

We will see the Cirque de Soleil Beatles show;

That's a great show - you'll really enjoy it.

Deb W.

sharismom

I know for sure what I don't want, yet I am also afraid of giving up everything I have worked for, so I know I have built a wall around myself. Lack of trust does that to me.  I need to lose the attitude, though. It's not healthy for me. 

((Tina)) and ((Karen)) Edit to add ((Barbara))

I mentioned to my friend that I've been staying with (to help out w/care of dogs, etc) that Gracie is weirded out by everything going on.  My friend said "well, what do you mean?  Nothing has happened to her."  Well, Gracie isn't used to bloody dog fights, paralyzed dogs and their equally crippled owners who cry and scream, and a mom who is not available as much to spend direct time with her b/c she's taking care of everything else.  The response to me was pretty thoughtless and I got really angry and walked away after saying "Thanks".  My friend tried to backpedal, but I am not stupid and I am absolutely certain it was a defensive jab/insult at me for even commenting on how screwed up the home life is that it's affecting my dog.  I've got to talk to my parents about taking Gracie so I know she's safe all day when I'm at work.

JackieG

When I told my sis (reminded her, actually) that we had four dogs and a cat, she asked me if I was an animal hoarder.  LOL 

LOL!! I know that some people think we're nuts with the way we are with our dogs but I quit caring. Oops...dog now not dogs :'(

Paige - Your encounter with your friend made me angry. How can she be so clueless about all that's happened and how it might be affecting Gracie? I'm sorry and I hope that you don't have to live separately from Gracie but I understand you wanting to protect her. (((Hugs)))

miranadobe

we don't get too many chances to connect with someone like that.  So I have to remind myself to free up a few of my rules and expectations and stop trying to predict the future to prevent a hurt

So far I've never felt that type of connection with anyone, ever.  I get confused trying to decide what is a reasonable expectation and what is settling.

sharismom

I get confused trying to decide what is a reasonable expectation and what is settling.

You may not know when it happens.  LOL, I wasnt looking and definately thought my hubby was an obnoxious loud person the first time I met him..... it turned out he was the love of my life and my soul mate.   Good thing I let my guard down for a moment :) or I might have missed out.  Not that everything has always been a bed of roses but the love and the feeling of knowing you are loved has always been stronger than any of our struggles.  Good thing I was really broke and really hungry the day he asked me out to dinner

sharismom

Boxermom2Marley

I am in the fog about men too.

I know for sure what I don't want, yet I am also afraid of giving up everything I have worked for, so I know I have built a wall around myself. Lack of trust does that to me.  I need to lose the attitude, though. It's not healthy for me. 

BOTH of you "GO GIRLS" -- what you're doing is incredibly healthy -- not fun, but really good in the long run.  I told Tina I still have the bootprint in my own butt from kicking MYSELF there at one time.  We all hit it at a different time and place, but the important thing is TO get to that place where you can sit down, be brutal with yourself and say "I need to change this" or "How dumb was that?" or "You know -- that wasn't my fault at all". 

Getting healed enough so you *can* be tough on yourself & self-examine -- that's a place a lot of people never do arrive at.  And it's good - it's where real change can happen. 

The step I took when I took that chance on David -- for me it felt like stepping off into the abyss.  But ... because I understood myself better it made the risk worth it. 

Just saying out loud "I need to look at that" -- it's a healthy thing.  Good luck! 

And the rest of you need to feel better!!  Glenda and I need to form "Bad Shoulders anonymous" (can se proudly be part of BS Anonymous?  I thot it sounded like fun!)

Karen -- feel better.

I gotta get back to work

cakana

Paige - Your encounter with your friend made me angry. How can she be so clueless about all that's happened and how it might be affecting Gracie? I'm sorry and I hope that you don't have to live separately from Gracie but I understand you wanting to protect her. (((Hugs)))

sharismom

I get confused trying to decide what is a reasonable expectation and what is settling.

My hunch is that if you suspect you're settling, then you probably are. Just from the things you've mentioned here, I think your expectations are realistic. Even if they aren't but they're your expectations, you're not going to be happy unless they're met, so there's no sense trying to stuff them away and act like they don't matter. Now if you're giving off a "keep away" vibe, you might not be getting close enough to many men to know if they might meet some or all of your expectations.

miranadobe

and to outright say my dog is "unstable" was about the most insulting thing to say.

Yep - that'd have made me see red. It sounds like someone who's trying to deflect the chaos going on as not that bad. It sounds pretty bad to me though and that was a really hurtful thing to say. I also know it's just not true.

miranadobe

Shoot, I didn't even tell you - the response was that Gracie is "unstable"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I blew a gasket but said nothing other than "THANKS!"  Gracie is sensitive and doesn't have the nerve some other dogs do, but she's a pretty calm decent dog who is obedient, biddable, great with other dogs young and old, kids, cats, wide varieties of people and has moved all over the country with me and encountered a lot... and to outright say my dog is "unstable" was about the most insulting thing to say.

Wow  . . . just wow.  After all you've done ??

Deb W.

rwbeagles

I am still trying to figure out what these feelings I have surrounding my Mom ARE really.

When you figure that one out let ME know please?  About 15 years ago I developed the attitude "I love my Mother, I love my Mother, I love my Mother but she makes me crazy!" 

"feelings" are always valid but aren't always accurate (someone wise said that to me years ago).  In other words the emotional button always gets pushed and you have to deal with that emotion -- but it might not be an accurate response (nor was what she did necessarily "true" but may have simply been her acting out of emotion as well.

In my case, my own mother's most vicious time was A) when she went thru menopause (which went on and on and on and ON) and B) when she was faced with her own aging and her anger at her inability to *control* that.  But I was left to deal with the fallout of all of that (which then pinged onto my feelings about what Tina and BoxerMom to Marley were talking about.

Bottom line -- for me there has been real comfort in being "mature" -- HA!  It just means it's a little easier for me to laugh at myself and see that just getting thru today can be one heck of an accomplishment.

 I'm eating some of the most AWESOME garlic bagel chips for lunch -- anyone want some??

cakana

miranadobe

and to outright say my dog is "unstable" was about the most insulting thing to say.

Yep - that'd have made me see red. It sounds like someone who's trying to deflect the chaos