Dog Community

Family disagreement over puppy

Posted : 3/14/2006 7:12:05 PM

My cousin recently bought a Golden Retriever, male, puppy. She lives with her boyfriend, 8 year old son and 4 year old daughter. While they are my family and I love them all very much, I am very concerned about the puppy.

My cousin's boyfriend is one of those people who believes in things like rubbing the puppies nose in his mess so that he learns not to mess in the house. He pins the puppy down and smacks it when it doesn't listen. I don't know where the puppy sleeps, but I do know that they don't leave the puppy at home while they are work because of their neighbors. So instead, my cousin's boyfriend will take the puppy with him to work and leave him in his truck all day.

The kids love the puppy, but I have witnessed them kicking it and hitting it. The puppy is also very skinny. Not deathly skinny, but definitely to where you can notice that he needs to be eating more. You can feel his ribs when you pick him up. When they brought the puppy over recently, I fed it and it swallowed it's food so fast that it threw up afterwards.

Her boyfriend is a huge animal lover and more so, a dog lover. I think he was just raised to think that this is how you raise a puppy. I have an aunt, who like myself, is very concerned about the puppy. I've mentioned it to my mom and asked her if I should say something to my cousin. She said no because they would only get offended and my cousin would just yell at me in her own defense. I've even considered calling Animal Protection Services, but once again, my mom said no. She said it wasn't any of our business.

I guess it just bothers me more than some other people because I have Ash and I can't ever imagine kicking her, hitting her, not feeding her enough, leaving her in a car all day long, rubbing her nose in her mess. Plus, my cousin and her boyfriend aren't doing very well and we know that drugs and alcohol are in that household all the time. Don't get me wrong. I'm very concerned about my cousin's drug and alochol problems and even more concerned with the children, but this is an animal forum so that's why I'm talking about my concern for the dog. My cousin's daughter told us, in the innocent way that children do, that the dog drinks beer. I mean, things are so bad right now that my mother has taken the kids for the next few weeks so that we can all make sure that the kids are o.k.

Should I say anything to my cousin about the dog? Should I keep my mouth shut? I'd even take the dog myself. I don't know. I guess I just wanted to vent.

gradyupmybutt

Posted : 3/14/2006 7:22:04 PM

Oh man! Those poor kiddos & the puppers. My question is, if the BF really IS a dog lover, maybe he isn't aware that things have changed & there are more effective ways of training. Maybe he's just being ignorant & thinks he's doing okay by this pup. Do you think he'd be open to you getting him a good training book? I'm thinking of "The Power of Positive Training". I think that's the title. If not, I'm sure someone will come along that will correct me. If you did go talk to your cousin, I certainly wouldn't talk to her i na accusatory way.
Um, who's doing the drinking & drugs? Is it both your cousin & her bf or just one of them? If it's both of them, I'd actually work on them getting clean. If they're active alcoholics they probably don't see what they're doing. It's all about them.

ashland

Posted : 3/14/2006 7:34:19 PM

They both drink, but my cousin is the one who has started doing drugs. My family is working on them right now. My mom has the kids and we're all trying to help them get on their feet and get clean and sober. So of course, that's the main concern. I love my cousin very much. I know if I mention the dog to her, she will flip out. My mom tells me to just leave it alone. It's just so hard for me to though when I see that puppy in the truck. It just claws at the window. My aunt can't even come around the dog anymore because she's ready to call APS. Whenever the dog comes over (the boyfriend will bring it over for the kids to see and play with) we feed it so the poor thing LOVES coming over now. It waddles into the kitchen and just plops down under the table because that's where we feed him. It's just a sad situation for everybody in every way.

spiritdogs

Posted : 3/14/2006 7:48:55 PM

Get real and stop kidding yourself. This guy is abusive and children act out what they see. That pup is not having a nice life.

spiritdogs

Posted : 3/14/2006 7:51:23 PM

P.S. Go ahead and call APS - if you would do it for a stranger's dog, do it for this one - hopefully, they will be sensitive to the fact that you need them to keep the reporter's name confidential. Kicking a dog is animal cruelty and in many states it is a felony. Plus, it can kill a puppy!!!!

ashland

Posted : 3/14/2006 7:57:23 PM

I think I will. The only reason I haven't so far is because my mom really wants me to stay out of it. But I'm thinking, if we can take the kids out of a harmful situation, then why can't we take the dog out of one? My aunt wants to call APS too, but she feels like my mom does, that this is family and it's not our place. So she just doesn't come around. But just as you said Anne, if we would do it for a complete strangers dog, then why not this one. The dog is still young enough to be adopted very easily. It's only 3 months old.

marynh

Posted : 3/14/2006 8:01:44 PM

call anomously. I've turned in a cousin for animal neglect...heck I even stole my nephew's dog once and rehomed it.
I don't care....my nephew found out and was mad for awhile. He got over it and I personally couldn't have cared less if he didn't. The dog was safe and loved for the short remainder of his life (shortened by the neglect he received in the "care" of my nephew - wish I had acted quicker).
And that's the key - if something happens to this pup you will forever kick your own butt for not doing what you know should be done.

nfowler

Posted : 3/14/2006 8:03:47 PM

Anne's right. I think you can call confidentially and have that investigated. Maybe somebody saw the dog sitting in the car and took down the license plate number? Maybe one of YOUR neighbors have seen the problem?

Gosh, I wouldn't even tell your mom at this point. It would only make matters worse. Either way, given their own issues, they have no room left in their lives for taking on a needy puppy. It would relieve any burden (which, granted they might not feel) they have toward the puppy.

ashland

Posted : 3/14/2006 8:10:21 PM

Yeah, I'm not gonna tell my mom. I'm just gonna do it. It's been on my mind all weekend because that's when I really got to see how hungry the dog was and how it knew we would feed it. Then, after we fed it, they put the puppy back in the car. I mentioned to them that the puppy will need to go to the bathroom pretty soon and they didn't seem to care. When I left my mom's house, I saw the puppy clawing at the window and so I went and took it out and saw that it had peed in the car and it went #2 right as I took it out. I had tears in my eyes. The puppy hasn't left my mind. All day today I'm thinking that the poor thing is just sitting in a truck all day. Doesn't get to play at all. I'm calling APS right as I get off of work.

Hillarie

Posted : 3/14/2006 8:24:42 PM

Call anonymously... I agree 100% that puppy isn't having a good life!

If I thought they would respond positivly I woudl usually say buy them a few books and give them to them as a puppy warming present... but they really don't sound uneducated they sound mean...

I stole a dog from one of my family members...

ashland

Posted : 3/14/2006 8:29:58 PM

I think it's both. They're uneducated and mean. And my cousin has no patience at all. Her temper is horrible. We can already see the effects it's had on the kids. I don't want to see what it can do to a puppy.

jeano

Posted : 3/14/2006 8:30:43 PM

You know, I think the hardest thing about this is that if you do make the puppy disappear, they'll probably just go out and buy another one. [sm=sad.gif]

On the other hand, if they are in this much chaos, maybe they would be relieved if the pup was gone. It's really a responsibility they don't need or really, truly want right now, I suspect. It's certain they aren't actually taking much responsibility about it, anyway....

gradyupmybutt

Posted : 3/14/2006 8:59:16 PM

I wish you luck in getting the dog & the kids out of there. I'm still trying to give your cousin the benefit of the doubt. If she's into drugs & booze she's not going to see what's she's doing is wrong. She's in her own sick world. I feel sorry for her.

griffinej5

Posted : 3/14/2006 10:12:35 PM

By leaving it in the truck all day, do you mean in the truck bed, or in the cab? If it's in the cab, the dog is in serious risk of dying once it starts getting warm out. If it is the cab, the first warm day you have, call the police and report that there is a dog left in a car, and you're afraid it will get too hot and die. If you can't get the authorities to act before then, that should work to get them out. If it's in the bed, hopefully they will act on your other concerns.

kaf

Posted : 3/14/2006 10:18:53 PM

I feel sorry for them too.... but I guess if they are on drugs they are in no condition to take care of an animal.

Good luck, I hope you can help the puppy, and I hope your cousin cleans herself up... for herself and her childern!