Liesje
Posted : 9/23/2010 9:42:53 PM
Thanks, you guys are all great. It's not even about this dog, it's always been like this. Everything I do I get looks like I'm stupid, like it never makes sense to them. My brother is a really good artist and really good at fishing, so on the side he sells paintings and he even gets paid like $500 an afternoon to take other people fishing. I'm not an artist and don't care for fishing but I've never put him down, I think it's great he can enjoy what he loves and even make some spending money doing it. But it's like nothing I've ever done gets "approved". Unfortunately I didn't get the artistic gene or the hunting/fishing gene, apparently that's all that counts to them. If I could I would trade for that so I wouldn't feel like such an ass wipe all the time. Before I got into dogs, I was a gymnast. If you can believe it, I loved (and still love) gymnastics with as much passion as I put into my dogs times TEN. I still miss it every second of every day, and to be honest with myself I know that getting into dogs was my attempt at filling that void and keeping myself from self-destructing. It doesn't fill that void yet but in time it might. I found out that the blue building alongside our new training field is a gymnastics facility, do you know how distracting that is for me? It's like putting an alcoholic to work in front of a bar! I lived, ate, breathed gymnastics for so long I didn't know anything different. But even when I was team captain and MVP of my team two years running, I always felt like everyone thought I was stupid and it was a waste of time. I don't know what the problem is, since I was pretty much a perfect child. I was not a bully nor bullied. I had plenty of friends and was "normal", got straight As, never got into trouble. My parents have never once had to bail me out of anything. I moved out when I was 17 and have been completely responsible for myself financially. I have a good job (which I've had for 8 years Jan 3), I live comfortably within my means and have a good husband with a good family on his side. ALL I'm asking for is a, "Hey, it's great you finally found the dog you want, good luck with your training." Is that SO hard? And my family wonders why I spend Sundays training instead of at church and Grandpa's with them. I put so much into my club, not just my dogs and our training but everyone, they are like a family to me even if they don't see it the same way. I miss my Grandma she would have been happy for me and proud of me even though she wouldn't have a clue what dog training is. I hate feeling ashamed doing what I love. It sucks not being able to share my accomplishments with them. I just don't understand where it comes from because otherwise my family all gets along well and have always been OK and respectful of each other. We are not the closest family but I can't even remember the last time I had a fight or exchanged words with my mom or my sister.