Four or more dogs

I usually have about 4 and it is a lot to deal with. Mine are not in house all together at any one time...they are rotated. I cannot imagine how chaotic having them all in at once. It would not be okay with me OR dh. We like our space and have several areas of the house that are always dog free.

I think having EVERYONE not just "okay with it" but fully on board is super important. Money matters...period...it just does. Small dogs often have BIG money problems...especially when they get older. Sure it's less money to treat them but heart conditions, tooth extractions, and skin or eye issues are no cheap fix most places.

I personally would consider the big picture. You seem to have a full plate, you have a boy as I recall who needs some special help sometimes and that will only increase as he gets older, diet notwithstanding...you home school and that too, will create a lot of time consumption as your kids grow. Your husband is in the military so the more pets you have the more you need to move or see to when he is deployed...

I really would err on the side of keeping things simple and uncomplicated were I you, but that is one person's advice. My husband's input does matter because he also lives here and in the end is responsible for the bills and he also takes the animals on as family members so stress around that issue, be it health or behavior issues...also wears on him just like it wears on me. IMO it's certainly not worth arguing over.

If I may also share this on a personal note? I have found much of my "want" with other dogs is coming from a place of emptiness that needs to be talked out and addressed within my marriage....not just bandaided with a puppy or another child or new shoes or any of the other things I have been known to "pine" for in life. For me a puppy nudge is a notice to myself that there is something I need to address, because we sure are fine with what we have dog wise...and things are well balanced in that respect.

rwbeagles

If I may also share this on a personal note? I have found much of my "want" with other dogs is coming from a place of emptiness that needs to be talked out and addressed within my marriage....not just bandaided with a puppy or another child or new shoes or any of the other things I have been known to "pine" for in life. For me a puppy nudge is a notice to myself that there is something I need to address, because we sure are fine with what we have dog wise...and things are well balanced in that respect.

You hit the nail on the head.  This is what I brought up with DH last night, he's home now and not deployed but he's gone some long hours and the kids and I hardly get to see him.   Even if I text or email him during the day he's short and annoyed with me.  I realize his post - grad school is very challenging and stressful but it reflects back onto me (who still is having to do everything because even when he's home he's doing homework or studying) so not much has changed even having him home. It's all on me.  The kids, the house, laundry, dishes, cooking, cleaning, everything.  I feel lonely and neglected.  I *feel* like having a little poodle who would fawn over and adore me would make me feel better. 

DH is upset because he says he "let" me have Echo who was supposed to be the dog to make me feel better.

All this aside though, I love love love to groom and scissor.  Bichons don't look very good in any other trim besides the bichon trim.  But I can tell you... I am bored!  It's like having an artist paint the same painting over and over.  A toy poodle doesn't take long to groom and it would be an artisitic outlet.

Bleh.

You're likely right and I should wait.  It's interesting though that the military housing allows 4 dogs! and when I went in to ask about it last week the representative was all for me getting up to 4 dogs LOL. 

I am a basket case.

Since you know this is an issue I really think any money spent on a new dog would be better spent going to someone to talk these feelings out. Counselling can be such a help, it helps to know you are not alone and also to learn some coping skills and communication skills...

For example I tend to set arguements up because it is what I am used to, it is what I grew up with as "normal" people disagreeing, yelling, sometimes hitting one another. I had to relearn communication skills and how to get the feedback I need from people without being confrontational, angry, or judgement. It is a daily struggle because as they say old habits die hard.

If you are feeling unappreciated the actual way to address that is to do so with your hubs...in some fashion when both of you are listening and no one feels put upon or attacked or defensive. It takes two...and so often it seems us gals get to initiate such things BUT, we are GOOD at it so it's not a bad thing, imo. Playing to your strengths is smart.

Even buying a book or checking online for how to open conversations or get your needs as a married woman, part of a team...heard can be so helpful...if a counsellor is not a possibility.

I hear a lot in your post that would be so helpful for your dh to hear...don't mask it behind something else because it will just fester, or worse...blow up into a big arguement that's not even about a dog...not "really". ((hugs))

  I barely remember what it was like having only four dogs. Four dogs sounds pretty easy to me ;)

 But really, you JUST got Echo and she's still a puppy. She really deserves your full time and attention right now. Getting another dog so soon after bringing her home means that either her or the other dog are likely to get the short changed, so to speak. Even if the Poodle is an adult, he still will need and deserve time and training to adjust to your lifestyle. And there could be some behavioral issues with him that you or the shelter don't know about at this point. It is hard to say how an adult dog will act once you get him home and he adjusts to your life. He could be great and act as though he's lived there his whole life. But behavioral issues, even with toy dogs (some especially with male toy dogs such as marking in the house) could really complicate your life and be a source of even more stress.

  If you want an artistic grooming outlet, get past your idea that the Bichons can't look like anything but Bichons ;)

Honestly?  If I had it to do again, I would NOT have 6 dogs.  Yeah, right now we are in the RV and crowded as heck, but even in a house there are some issues.  I love each and every one of them, but, we have a LOT of dog.

I'm thinking that you only just moved, you're not happy with the weather, you've got 2 kids, a hubby who is back in the same house as you AND a new pup.  The urge for one more, I'm thinking that's about the adjustment more than the dog.  Not meaning to be rude, or blunt, so please forgive me if I am.

YOu're forgiven, Glenda.   It's stuff I need to hear so I can sort out where this is all coming from.

I have decided to not get the poodle boy. He still calls to me but for now I have to let it go...

I will have to play with my bichons and see if I can come up with something different for their hairdos.

YOu guys are the best, thanks :)

I felt that four dogs was just too much for me, especially when two of them were elderly.  It was very expensive with lots of vet trips and such.  I am happy with three and would probably be happier with only two.  I don't think I will ever be with only one.  We will probably always have at least two and possibly three at some points.

 If you just have an itch for grooming (and have the supplies) perhaps you could donate some time to one of the local shelters? I'm sure there are some adorable fluffy dogs who would be way more adoptable if they had attractive haircuts.

On multiple dogs, we have several dogs. I double we'll ever be below four (though circumstance now has at 6 and we adore them all, we probably won't have this number intentionally again..unless we take in a relative's dog in the future, etc..which is a possibility years down the line) and I know we won't have under three. Now, that said, for our family, the TYPE of dog is very important. We don't do active dogs...a herding or sporting type dog would not do well here. All of our dogs are very laid back..Grimm is probably the most active and he learned from the others to take part in 'afternoon quiet time' and to raid the toy box and entertain himself.

 They're all in the house, but they're not underfoot. No one believes this until they come over. Currently I don't even see half of them, and this isn't uncommon. It's a very quiet household..maybe that's because most of them are small, but I cannot imagine a houseful of Chows being much noisier. 

We don't have scuffles..our dogs are very laid back with each other. Aside from the current Aesop/Goose intros, our dogs are pretty low key with each other.   Our 4 lb poodle easily scuttles around with the 75 lb Chow.  Jules is the bossiest, and even he's mellowed in his age (he's 9 this month). Darn those little terriers.

That said, our little dog family is whole and complete for quite some time.

Now, that said, you have a sporting breed puppy. I know she's large, but she's still a young pup There's a lot of fun stuff you can do with a pup that age.  I would not add a new dog while she's still a puppy.

I'd also think about getting into counseling..preferably with your husband. I know he's been away and it is an adjustment, but reading about some of his comments, I can't understand how even the most blockheaded guy (and some are..doesn't make them good or bad..) wouldn't know that those are hurtful statements to say to a partner. He may be stressed, but he does need to remember that while he may say them without thinking, words do linger.  I'd be concerned as to why those things are so easy to say for him. I think a neutral avenue to discuss BOTH of your concerns, without feeling judged, would be very beneficial.

Aside from all that, I have figured out that 3 is my limit on dogs. Anything more than that and things start to suffer. The dogs, myself, my house and so forth. There just isn't enough money or time for more than 3 (in my experience, everyone is different)

Everything Gina said is absolutely GOLD.  A dog is a commitment -- not just by one person but the whole family.  Because where one person may be 'happy' the rest of the household can be miserable and long term that's not healthy for anyone.

Frankly, I am happiest with *two* -- we've had four and I find it VERY difficult.  I am very close to the police station so I can't have a lot of barking, etc.  But I like to take the dogs with me to do things, and it's just WAY too much of a houseful for the long term.  I don't even have four corners in my kitchen to FEED dogs in.  Three works -- and for us it takes some of the burden of heavy pet therapy off one dog when more than one dog can go to that facility.  So three "works" for us but it is a LOT of work. 

to be completely honest, I've never been able to HAVE children and have always wanted them desperately.  But that's just not in the cards for us. And Years ago I had to make complete *peace* with that for myself. 

The word "bored" is not in my vocabulary -- because I'm always doing something, going somewhere to help, writing to help someone or working on my own dogs.  I don't even watch TV because I flatly don't have time.  But I *make* myself be involved and busy to pursue the things that make life fulfilling.  If I turned my eyes inward to myself I'd be purely miserable.  Instead I look for things that need doing and people who need helping ... and THAT keeps me very very busy *and* fulfilled. 

grab01

 If you just have an itch for grooming (and have the supplies) perhaps you could donate some time to one of the local shelters? I'm sure there are some adorable fluffy dogs who would be way more adoptable if they had attractive haircuts.

Boy oh boy is that a good idea for you!

But David and I have to be completely on board together with all we do with the dogs -- otherwise marriage simply disintigrates into him vs. me -- been THERE done THAT and am NOT doing it ever ever ever ever again.  You can't be a "partner" alone.  And times of transition are VERY hard.  I think you will find most woman whose husbands are home after being deployed for a long time have the SAME problem.  You can't wait for them to be home, and then when they are, they feel pressured to be a super breadwinner (and better themselves) because of the all the changes in the world and in their family wihle they were gone. 

When that sort of thing happens in a marriage you can work together to get back on a parallel track or you'll grow apart.  It's very hard.  But it's also pretty predictable -- change is HARD.

 Being a groomer, I can tell you right now, grooming shelter dogs ROCKS, but it's not generally going to fill that creative outlet. Shelter dogs need maintenance trims. What Tiffani is talking about, with the grooming itch, is NOT a maintenance trim. It's honestly not the same. Someone who isn't a groomer, probably won't get that, but it's just not.

Three dogs is plenty, for me, but I work full time, compete with them, spend eons training them, and I'm the only one who takes care of them. I have to watch the numbers, especially with seniors around. Seniors are not cheap, as has already been pointed out, particularly with the toy breeds. If I ever have fewer rescues, then I may raise my numbers, a bit, but with bad teeth, bad knees, allergies, skin issues, etc popping up? Three is enough, LOL. That's soooo personal, though. I've got three dogs, two cats, and my bird, here, right now, and it's stretched me so far I never want to do it again. That may change, one day, if I have help, or make more money, or they invent a miracle cat allergy eraser.

 I never thought I'd like having an odd number of dogs, but we've had 4 and it was a bit much since one was a foster with no training and thus needing waaaay more of my time than the other 3 combined and now we have just 2 and the house seems oh so quiet.

I think Gina's comments are spot on.  And I know I didn't even consider fostering temporarily until Kes was over 18 months since I wanted to make sure he had a modicum of good behavior to model for any fosters and make management easier on everyone.

calliecritturs

And times of transition are VERY hard.  I think you will find most woman whose husbands are home after being deployed for a long time have the SAME problem.  You can't wait for them to be home, and then when they are, they feel pressured to be a super breadwinner (and better themselves) because of the all the changes in the world and in their family wihle they were gone. 

When that sort of thing happens in a marriage you can work together to get back on a parallel track or you'll grow apart.  It's very hard.  But it's also pretty predictable -- change is HARD.

This is so true - my cousin was a submarine captain, and because of the nature of his deployments, he wasn't allowed any communication at all with his family for many months at a time. No phone calls, no letters, nothing. (Can't give away the location of the sub!) His wife still cringes when she thinks back on those times - how hard it was for her to be a single parent, then husband comes home from deployment and thinks he's supposed to be "head of the household." She always said that what she wanted/needed was "help," but all he really knew how to do was to "captain" her around. So not only did she feel like he was not "helping," but she felt like he was acting as if he knew how to run the house better than she did. It was serious, serious, serious marital strife! They ended up going to counseling, and I think it helped. It must have - he's been retired from the military for probably 20-30 years now, and they're still happily married, so they must have eventually figured it out! But you're not alone - I think your struggles are the norm more than particular to you guys as a couple. So hang in there, and stay strong, and see if you can find some support! Others who have been there, done that, might have some tips to help.

Yeah, for what it's worth my sister in law's sister(my brothers wife's sister) had some marriage issues with her husband when he returned from time in Iraq too.  She was so let down when he got home. She was so excited for him to be home and that she'd have help with the kids(they have two boys)  They are in counseling now too.