Tara S
Posted : 10/6/2006 12:11:39 PM
I would say that it is proper etiquette to put the dogs up during a dinner party if they are not respecting others' space. Like someone mentioned, dog-mom's are often sensitive and don't recognize that their own boundaries aren't conducive with a dinner party. I don't want to criticize her training of them, because some people really don't mind dog breath as a condiment to their dinner. It all comes down to personal boundaries, and if you quickly analyze different people that you know who have dogs, you'll probably see a high correlation to their dogs boundaries and their own.
The other night I had the girls over for dinner, and my friend brought her pug over. During dinner, my dog laid on the floor, and her dog stood up on his hind legs and begged to her the whole time that we ate. It was driving me crazy, even though no one else seemed to mind and she was no where near me at the table. I finally said, "yeah, we're not going to do that at my house. It's fine at your house, but I'm not going to have people over to dinner with a dog's face 6 inches from the food, whether it's my
late or not." She laughed and made him stay down the rest of the night. Luckily, she's my best friend of 20 years and we can say things like this without offending anyone. Later, we sat outside on the porch for some after-dinner cigarrettes and her dog couldn't come out since there's no fenced yard. The pug sat there and whined and occasionally jumped on my screen FOREVER! My dog continued to lay on the couch, and understood that I still love her, but she just wasn't invited out for this adventure. After a while of being annoyed, on my next trip in, I closed the glass sliding door on her dog so that we didn't have to listen him whine. Once the door was shut, he just sat there and watched us. My friend with the pug laughed and
ointed out the difference in our boundaries. She said that it never would have dawned on her to close the door, and that she hadn't even noticed the dog whining. But that's also the difference in our personalities, I need my space and alone time, and she likes for someone to be around all the time. Her dogs are very well behaved in the areas that are important to her...they come when called, don't tear anything up, etc. But from my perspective, they climb all over you without permission, whine and act out if they aren't at your side, and don't understand any sort of command that would instruct them to go entertain themselves, whether that be to go to their crates, or go lie down, or anything. That doesn't mean that my dog and I aren't close, cause she sleeps in my bed, lays with me on the couch and goes everywhere in the car with me. My dog also will drop a slobbery ball on your nice outfit if you're not paying attention, and that doesn't bother me at all, but some people find it absolutely abnoxious. It just means that one thing that was important to me in my training was for a dog to know when to leave me/us alone and that includes dinner.
It really comes down to personal preference. Just the same as you not understanding the dogs breathing down your neck at dinner, she does not understand why you wouldn't want the dogs near you. You probably aren't going to get her to re-train her dogs. But in the end, people have the right to choose what they consider to be good dog etiquettee aw well as where they want to have dinner. Some people don't like noisy restaurants, some don't like dark restaurants, and some don't like expensive restaurants. If the dinner party location is already chosen, then the patrons have to decide if they will be able to enjoy the atmosphere or if they should not partake. Ultimately, instead of having a problem with her choice of dog behavior, why not move the dinner party elsewhere. She probably will either respect your decision to move and not be a host, or she will decide that she will have to have different doggie-accomodations for her guest.