BabyStuff: Sleep routines

Yeah, I don't rush to Isaac every time he cries anymore. He usually goes back to sleep on his own. We didn't get to that stage for a few months, though.

I second, third and fourth the "don't make it quiet" thing during naps. My in-laws did that with my step son, his mother and I don't - he'll sleep through a bomb at my house or with his mom, but at the in-laws, the phone wakes him up to this day - and he's almost 3 years old!
 
As for the sleep schedules, I was lucky. I came into Alex's life when he was 6 months old, he'd been sleeping from 10 pm till 6 am since he was around 3 months old. But, I think that before the 4-6 month stage you need to go to them when they cry, after that, a pat or a few words will suffice, turning them into self-sufficient, able toddlers later on.

I guess I might be in the minority here, but my sons slept with us until about 6-8 months old. It all started with Alex. We had a horrible time at the hospital with him and, when we brought him home, he fell asleep on our bed. I was so terrified of another squalling baby night, that I refused to let hubby move him. One of the best decisions I have ever made. Alex slept for 6 hours, woke up for a changing and food, returned to sleep for another 6 hours. He kept that up until he was ready to be moved. Then he slept all night with out any trouble. Now then his schedule did not repeat with my other sons' schedules. They each were different but having them sleep with us in the beginning was a wonderful experience.

Do you have a sound machine in his room? That may help. Also, I second the keeping the sounds normal for naptime. He needs to get used to the noises. Also, it may be comforting to him too.

--Sara

Also, I let my sons choose the feeding schedule. It was my doctors told me. Things start balancing out as they get older.

--Sara

Ya feedings will space out and become more "Normal" once baby is starting to get interested in his surrounding and more mobile too. At 5 days old eating is the only thing the really really enjoy. Come 5 months there are suddenly a whole lot that's more interesting than that.

When mine were itty bitty (they are 2 and 3 years old now), I pretty much fed them when they wanted to be fed, and they slept when they wanted to sleep.  Within reason of course.  I tended to nap mine right out with everything going on, I didn't want to have to stop life from happening when they got older and were woken easier (did that once with the whole black and quiet bit and it was horrible when she got older).  Now there was a definite breakfast, lunch and dinner time, plus all the snacks in between.  If they tried to sleep through the main meals I would wake them up and try to get them to nurse.  At night they slept in a bassinette in my room.  Made middle of the night feedings easier and less chance of the little one waking up the sibling.  I kept a heating pad on low in the bassinet so if they fell asleep in my arms it made transferring to the bassinet easier (it wasn't cold which did tend to wake mine up).  If the did wake up a few butt pats and back/tummy rubs usually fixed that).  I didn't worry a whole lot about what was the current trend or not, I did what made my life and my routine easier. 

Neither one was difficult to transition to the crib.  The older put up a bit of a bigger fuss than the younger one did, but neither fussed horribly.  My belief was always that they need the comfort of being held and eating when they want (as long as its enough - one of mine I did have to wake to eat on occasion).  I tried to keep the big parts of the day routine oriented the ones that are the same for everyone.  Breakfast, lunch, dinner, and bed.  The rest was more flexible.  Their needs both dietary, and interaction change soo much so quickly that no sooner do you get settled with one thing, when they go and change on you.  The only thing that I would consider about how strict your routine is, is if you plan on putting him into daycare.  Many are very big on routine and will only feed and nap at certain times and your child must adjust.  If you are than I would try to get him into that routine as soon as possible.

I don't know what "current wisdom" is either, since my baby is older than Glenda's.  He's 30.  I breastfed and being a basically lazy sort myself, I found it easier to get up and change him, then just tuck him back in bed with me to nurse himself back to sleep.  I also found it easier to just let both of them set their own feeding schedules than to try to regiment one myself. I really don't think it's possible to *spoil* an infant that young.  They're really too young to be trying to manipulate anyone - when they cry it's because they need something and crying is the only way they can communicate that.  I really believe that if you ignore a crying  baby, the only thing you *teach* him/her is that nobody cares and nobody is coming. That wasn't anything I ever wanted to teach one of mine.
 
Joyce

 

I really believe that if you ignore a crying  baby, the only thing you *teach* him/her is that nobody cares and nobody is coming.

 
If I honestly believed one could "teach" an infant anything about the lack of reliablity of it's parent at 1-4 months of age thru allowing it to cry, and that lesson would travel throughout the child's life into adulthood....I'd never be able to crate train another puppy. [] 
 
 

ORIGINAL: rwbeagles

 

I really believe that if you ignore a crying  baby, the only thing you *teach* him/her is that nobody cares and nobody is coming.

 
If I honestly believed one could "teach" an infant anything about the lack of reliablity of it's parent at 1-4 months of age thru allowing it to cry, and that lesson would travel throughout the child's life into adulthood....I'd never be able to crate train another puppy. [] 
 

 
No offense, but I can't imagine that crate training a puppy is even close to the same! 
 
I agree that at that age, it is all about building the bond of trust and security, and I think that is distinctly different from a human/dog relationship.  Whether or not the baby is necessarily being "taught" anything - the baby is learning to communicate through crying and the baby "gets" that vocalizing results in a response.  Later on it can become a manipulative tactic of course - but at 5 days old, that's just not what it is. 
 
I have the utmost respect for you Gina and I don't mean to sound like I'm questioning anything about your parenting, especially given my own non-experience!

A few opinions on the subject.  I did a search using the term "allowing a baby to cry".  All of the links that I got by far do NOT advocate leaving a newborn to cry it out.  They are too young. 

From: [linkhttp://www.associatedcontent.com/article/19237/a_factbased_case_against_letting_your.html]http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/19237/a_factbased_case_against_letting_your.html[/link]
The fact remains that "crying it out” simply does not work the way proponents of the Ferber method believe. An infant has not the faculties to cry hysterically, get it out of his system, and then lull into slumber. No, he has merely submitted into exhaustion once it becomes clear that his caretakers are not coming to help him. In the mean time, his blood pressure and heart rate have soared excessively and needlessly because no one has opted to comfort him. Babies need physical comfort, especially from their mothers. It should be noted that Dr. Ferber, the king of "Cry It Out” has since revised his famous works to include an alternative method. That's right, the inventor of Ferber-ization (sleep training through crying it out), has realized he was wrong. A recent Harvard study shows that children who are left to cry themselves to sleep suffer long-lasting damage to their nervous system. As a result, they are more susceptible to post traumatic stress and anxiety disorders, including panic attacks. Responding to your baby's cues when he cries does not spoil a child and it does not mean he will never sleep soundly on his own. In fact, a child who is comforted and nurtured will become more independent and healthy sleepers later because they know they have a dependable support system waiting for them when they wake up. Dr. Sears, world-renowned pediatrician, has done many studies on this. I would highly recommend reading about Dr. Sears and Attachment Parenting philosophy. Mothers will find it is much closer to what their natural instincts tell them. "When we are giving to our children out of love and enjoyment, then it is a positive… When we are giving to them because they have worn us down or we feel guilty, then it is a negative (spoiling).” - Dr. William Sears' response to the idea that Attachment Parenting "spoils” a child

[linkhttp://www.boston.com/yourlife/home/articles/2004/06/03/when_to_let_a_baby_cry_let_the_little_one_be_your_guide/]http://www.boston.com/yourlife/home/articles/2004/06/03/when_to_let_a_baby_cry_let_the_little_one_be_your_guide/[/link]


[linkhttp://hcd2.bupa.co.uk/fact_sheets/html/crying.html]http://hcd2.bupa.co.uk/fact_sheets/html/crying.html[/link]

Crying is the only means of communication for young babies. Therefore at first your baby will cry for all their needs. These include physical needs such as hunger, tiredness, a wet nappy, being too hot or too cold, or even discomfort from tight clothing. Your baby will also crying because of anxiety or an emotional need such as affection.
Fortunately, babies' cries usually vary with these different needs. Within the first few weeks of life you will become able to recognise your baby's different cries and respond more quickly to their needs. At this stage it is impossible to spoil a baby with attention so if (s)he cries you should pick up your baby for a cuddle and find out what it is (s)he wants. This also reassures your baby that you are there for him or her.
Whilst getting to know your baby's cries will help you narrow down the need, it will often be a matter of trial and error. The first things to try are offering your baby a feed and checking whether (s)he needs a nappy change. Next you might give your baby something to suck, rock or pat or simply talk to your baby. If none of these help then check to see if (s)he is too hot or too cold. Room temperature should be around 20-23oC(68-73oF) and baby's normal body temperature 37oC(98.6oF).
From the age of about three months, babies become more aware of their surroundings and much more communicative. By now you are likely to be able to recognise your baby's distinctive cries, for instance when (s)he is hungry, tired, or needs changing. However, now your baby will cry from boredom, anxiety, frustration and teething. Whilst identifying the cause of your baby's crying will again require a process of trial and error, the following may be of help:
 
 
This article was written by a Mom who tried both methods.  Very interesting.  [linkhttp://www.pantley.com/elizabeth/content/sleepbooksummary.htm]http://www.pantley.com/elizabeth/content/sleepbooksummary.htm[/link]

This article describes two distinct settling methods - one for babies 0-6 months and another for older babies.
[linkhttp://www.cry-sis.org.uk/sleepproblems.html]http://www.cry-sis.org.uk/sleepproblems.html[/link]


Chuffy, I hope this helps you and William (and hubby!) adjust to a method that works best for you guys!

Lol I don't mind at all the debate. I have confidence in my parenting otherwise I'd not be able to debate....just like all here. We've all done things we read about or have been passed down etc. In my family...and perhaps even in my culture...you do not pick a baby up every time they cry. Passed down from my Mom, thru my grandmother and her mother...my Nana.
 
We've all had varying degrees of success with all the many things from sleeping habits, to first foods, to how to get rid of hiccups, lmao. It's all about what worksfor you. I don't put my happiness completely aside when it comes to my kids because if I am unhappy, or unrested, or unable to enjoy life...I am less of a parent to them. It's all a balance.
 
Right now I have a 6 year old (wow SIX! still buggin about that one) that still speaks to me and trusts me and comes to me when they get hurt (come those teens years that goes out the window I hear!)....same with my 3y/o. I have it in front of me the damage I didn't  do to their fragile psyche's by allowing a cry now and then...or setting limits...or this or that. My puddin's proofed lol. Other people have the same result with other methods, so I'd say that's a win-win.
 
The puppy thing was rather tongue in cheek...but if we were to compare the two objectively I think it'd be pretty darned interesting. So many here like to liken dog training to raising a child...but another thread for another day perhaps?

I've always thought it was much easier and faster to potty train a dog than a kid and have since decided that I went about it all wrong with the boys.  I should have just said "No No - outside" and scooted them out on the back lawn.  They probably would have been out of diapers much sooner than they were.
 
Joyce

DH wanted to do that with Eli! I also saw some parents potty training from the infant stage...that was erm...interesting.

Oops didn't mean to start a debate!!!

Seems like I agree with most people on here re naps.... its OK for him to take them downstairs, and better because that way he is ok about sleeping through normal household noise.  I do agree with routine, but it can backfire.... I know a family who until recently had to be home EVERY SINGLE DAY because the dd NEEDED a noon nap (a total horror without) and wouldn't sleep ANYWHERE but the dark and quiet of her nursery in her cot.  Er, no thanks, not for me!!

I do encourage him to stay awake in the day, but I don't try to FORCE him to.... eye contact, daylight, talking that kind of thing, all rev up the brain to say "be awake" so I cuddle and talk to him after his feeds for a little while and then let im wind down quietly and sleep if he wants (he usually wants!!)  Like I said before, the last thing I want is to make him TOO tired, so I just let him lead really.

At night I do let him "grizzle" a little, but go to him if it sounds like it's building up.  The last 2 nights he has been awake when put back down after his night feed and has settled HIMSELF off to sleep which I think is a good sign... (??)  [Edit]  I really don't think babies have 2 states, like a digital on/off switch; Totally Content and Totally Distressed, Need Parent Now!!!!  I think they are quite capable of being a little bit cheesed off sometimes and need very little or no comfort from the parents in order to settle. 

Re the potty training, was going to say i'M a little way off that yet but then i thought, what am I thinking, befre I know it he will be askoing to borrow the car....!! 
I think you aren't born with the awareness of how to stop your pee midflow, or stop it starting. That awareness and ability comes with age and if you try to potty train before that has kicked in, your flogging a dead horse.  I think boys take longer than girls too.

Anyways thanks for all your advice and experiences.... much appreciated!  Don't stop there either it was getting interesting.

PS. Edit: I'm putting some pics on the computer now.... so will be uploading them in a little while []