Human Nutrition

Please dont take this the wrong way but, I don't think it's the promise to lose weight that he is most upset about.  I think it's a good excuse for him though.
I mean come on,  he cant trust you cuz you didn't lose weight?  How rediculous is that?  I can see he cant trust you cuz you cheated on him or he cant trust you cuz you cleaned out the joint checking account and disappeared for a while or cuz you told him he was the father of your baby when he wasn't.  Stuff like that are reasons to lose trust in someone.....not cuz you didn't lose the weight. 
I've been fairly overweight myself.  At one time I used to be 23yrs old 5ft tall and about 160lbs.  I hated how I felt about myself and hated myself naked.  It wasnt the skinny girls I envied so much as the bigger ones that were totally happy with themselves.  How come I couldn't be bigger and happy? 
I have so much admiration for bigger women who are happy with their bodies and themselves for who they are. 
Losing weight is tough, they say you didnt put the weight on overnight so don't expect it come off overnight.  Im here to tell ya, I can put it on overnight and it will take all week of good eating to take the one pound back off.  It feels like 2 steps fwd and 12 back.  Oh...sorry...my weight loss frustration is shining through.
Good luck to ya girl.

Again, I say that you have to do this for yourself. If I'm not mistaken, are you the one who posted about her BF making a very rude and insensitive comment about her weight? He had never done it before, but did say something mean at one point right? It may have been someone else I'm thinking of.
 
I think if you know that you need to lose weight for your health and you just want to feel better about yourself, then you do it for YOU. Not for him. I know EXACTLY how you are feeling so you are not alone in this. I have been where you are. I hate being in the body I'm currently in, but I'm doing my best now to change it. The difference is that I'm doing it for me now. My BF is out of the picture. I'm not saying dump your BF, but for me, that's what I needed to do to gain some perspective. For me, a huge indicator of whether I should be with someone or not, is if I feel good about myself when I'm around them. If that person brings out the best in me and not the worst and vice versa. I was NOT feeling this way around my ex.
 
My ex did the same thing yours is doing. He tried guilting (not sure if that's a word) into losing weight. "You said you would. You promised." or "You said that you were gonna start working and I haven't seen you do it yet. Promises mean nothing to you I guess. You get mad and upset with me if I break a promise don't you?" And it would go on and on. He tried, and succeeded, in making me feel like I was the one in the wrong, that I was the one creating problems in our relationship because I had some lack of loyalty and commitment by not losing the weight.
 
What really bothers me about your post is that you said he told you he doesn't love you anymore? That he only loves you as a friend? All because of your weight? He should love you regardless.
 
Amanda, stop thinking about him and what he wants. At least for right now. I know it's hard, but focus on yourself. Focus on what you need and what you want. You need people encouraging you and supporting you, not people who make you feel worthless, lazy and are bringing you down. If you ever need to talk, you can pm me or email me. Please don't ever feel alone in this.

If I'm not mistaken, are you the one who posted about her BF making a very rude and insensitive comment about her weight? He had never done it before, but did say something mean at one point right? It may have been someone else I'm thinking of.

Yes I did, that is where it all started, it was a few weeks ago but that is what brought up everything. When I made the promise it was more of a promise to myself that I had discussed with him and 2 years later he brought it back to say I had lied to him about that promise.

I have been talking about loosing weight for a while now but since he's been getting involved it's not helping any bit. I did talk to him again since the last time I posted and things did go a bit smoothly I had wrote when I was feeling the worst and now I've calmed down, talked to him and things are a bit better. Right not he is exreamly stressed with the last two weeks of his courses, he needs to pass these to graduate and so lately he's been getting bothered by any little thing that comes to mind. He hasn't told me how he feels about that but I can tell things are not going so easy for him. I asked why he only sees me as a friend and he says I am his friend and that is important but he wants me to show him that when I say the I love him it's not just words coming out, he wants me to show that I really do mean it and he hasn't been feeling that way lately. I guess there is a lot the both of us need to work out and it may just take a few baby steps to get there. Graduating on his side is really scary because he doesn't know what to do once out of college and I have to admit I haven't exactly been as supportively as I should be.

But to get back on subject yes, I do want to loose weight for myself I just have so many obstacles to overcome and so much that seems to keep me from getting there.

Xebby,

I feel for you. You and your BF are both in a tough spot, and I admire that you both at least are attempting to express yourselves. You both want to be happy, and you're struggling out how to get there. That doesn't have to make either of you the bad guy, not you for gaining weight, not him for being dissapointed that his expectations aren't being met. You both want to be happy, the question is, how do you get there.

Not knowing enough to really add much, it sounds like you both need some changes in your lives - whatever the symptoms, whatever the causes. Sounds like BF is stressed out and not in a good place to be helpful. Sounds like you're in a terrible place with your self-esteem.

It's really important, as you move forward with your lifestyle changes, that you set yourself up for success at every turn. Be gentle and loving with yourself, and continue to reach out for guidance and support, that's a good step! []

Tomorrow, go to Weight Watchers.  I love going on Fridays because it allows me to have the weekend to eat a little worse and then I do very well during the week.  I say Weight Watchers (and go, not JUST online) because you then get the support of people at your meeting and build a friendship with them.  Also, they have online message boards you can go to whether you pay or not.  There is support, recipe ideas, fitness ideas, etc.
 
Everytime I try to lose weight I do it for me.  Right now is one of those times.   BF never commented on me needing to lose weight but I woke up one day and decided I needed to do WW soon and not just weight for free registration or a friend to do it with me.  It was a great decision.  I have gotten litterally 30 compliments this week from people about how good I look, etc.  I started wearing spring clothes and you could see my figure more I guess.  I also got a new hairstyle as part of my new me.  I still want to lose about 20 more lbs.  Even when I don't lose a lot, I know if I had not signed up to do WW, I would be gaining a lot more than when I started.  I always said I could do WW on my own since I had done it in the past but really, I needed to pay to stick with it.  I know that about myself.  I hate wasting money . 
 
Anyway, WW teaches you how to eat healthy, gives support you need and is not a big time commitment.  You can journal your food online or on paper also.