...So now im pregnant

i know exactly how you are feeling. i never wanted to have 2 children and as you may know i just had my second child a little over 2 months ago. when i first found out i was so devastated, i was supposed to be starting college, that went out the window right away, my oldest was just getting to the age where i thought i would be comfortable getting a job, that went out the window too. i also shared your idea of not wanting to make my daughter share me with another baby. i hated being pregnant and was terrified of the pain of giving birth, i even convinced myself that the pregnancy might kill me.

but im still here, my 3 year old is so in love with her baby sister. i think if she had had the choice of whether i had the baby or not she would've chose the baby without blinking. it is really hard sometimes, but trust me, it is alot easier the second time, you know what to expect and arent as surprised by the unexpected.

it is perfectly ok to not be thrilled about being pregnant, it is a big deal and when it catches you off gaurd it is only natural to freak out. i cannot really tell you how will you feel, but i do know that i eventually accepted it and once i did i actually managed to enjoy myself. and the second birth went wayyyy wayyy easier than the first. and now i have a precious baby that i cannot imagine what life would be like without her. it certainly will never be a simple life, it would be boring if it were anyway.

hang in there!

Two more thoughts.  My mom (mother of 3) told my oldest sister who worried how she could love her second child as much as the first (who was the center of her world)...
You don't divide your love.  It multiplies.
 
Second, and this is gonna sound trite, but... be glad you have time to get acclimated to the idea.  A friend suddenly found out 2 weeks ago that she is pregnant - and due in 3 weeks!  She attributed the weight gain to quitting smoking, the rumbles in her stomach to gas, and her lack of period to the last year's "early menopause" diagnosis. 
 
You will work it out.  You are smart and capable and caring.  Love supports you.

My mom (mother of 3) told my oldest sister who worried how she could love her second child as much as the first (who was the center of her world)...
You don't divide your love.  It multiplies

 
This is so true. My son turned 3 about a month after my daughter was born. I was depressed a lot during my pregnancy thinking I could not love this unborn child as much as I loved my son. Well after she was born I not only loved my son just as much as before but I loved my daughter just as much as my son. My daughter just went thru this herself not to long ago. Hailee will be 3 May 20th and Neveah will be 1 May 22nd. Neveah was not planned. They wanted to wait a year or two. As with my son Hailee was and still is a big help to her mom getting diapers, toys, pacifier,ect for Neveah at the age of 2.
 
My daughter was not planned either. After I gave birth to my son I said never never again. So I too had the thought of giving birth again. The first time I didn`t know what to expect. The second time oh yea I know what was comming. But in all honestly the second time was ok. It was a lot faster and a lot easier.
 
You and your family will be in our thoughts and prayers.

While it sounds like maybe the circumstances are somewhat difficult, I hope you find the support you need from good friends and family and that you have a smooth pregnancy and easier delivery this time.  Best wishes to you!

I have a close friend... she was married for 4 years when she found out she was pregnant.  She called me before her mother (who just passed away last year) and let me tell you... she was TERRIFIED!!!  I couldn't get over how scared she was to tell her mother... but once she did, it was a relief and her mother couldn't have been more excited.  Try to take a deep breath and enjoy this pregnancy as much as possible.... your family will come around []

My son was an accident too.  You know sometimes accidents make the most wonderful kids! 

Also the second delivery is usually faster.  Mine certainly was.  18.5 hours with Kale and 3.5 with Kali.  Plus pregnancy gets so uncomfy in the end, you can't wait to deliver.

You could try taking some meditation classes to help with the delivery.  If the pain meds didn't help you the first time, it couldnt hurt to go into this one with some other type of pain management.

By the way Michelle, I loved the candle analogy.  I may even use it with Kale if he ever shows signs of becoming jealous.

Thanks everyone, for the awsome support. Times like these make me realize why I-Dog is awsome
 
The only person IRL who knows is DH, and hes been quite shocked, but supportive. I think he will be a bit more involved with this babe than with DS. I think he was a little scared with DS, and given the fact that his job at the time was very strict about taking off days he was never able to accompany me to one prenatal visit. I mean, even the day I was scheduled to be induced, he had to work! He came to the hospital around midday, but what if I had had an easy birth with DS? He wouldnt have been there.
 
But this time he has already told me he is going to accompany me to the visits, and I can see he WANTS to be a part of this.

I just wanted to say that Pocket and I are thinking of you and sending lots of good vibes.
It's great that your DH is going to be able to be more involved this time around- I can't even imagine what it'd be like having to cope with all the pregnancy/prenatal stuff without someone being there with me.
 
You're strong, smart and capable. You'll get through this, and all the I-doggers will be here to support you along the way. Take care of yourself, and don't worry too much!
 

But this time he has already told me he is going to accompany me to the visits, and I can see he WANTS to be a part of this.

 
Great news and very happy for you. 
 
Wishing you a wonderful pregnancy and easy delivery!