I wanted to add a P.S. to my own post up there. I worried all night that someone might think I was gay-bashing or in any way typefying or suggesting anything that way - I've know lots of 'bad stories'.
The point I probably should have made more clearly is simply this ... and I think Chelsea just underscored it -- you DO have to be extremely careful. Because it is an excellent way for people to 'hide' -- it's awfully easy to be trusting that this other person is the age, sex or person they claim to be. They may be excellent liars.
I learned early on to BEWARE ... are they always 'upbeat' and always keeping the conversation in a particular gear? ARe they always asking about you, or how much do you know about them? Or do you always get the "my ex is SOOO mean" story? In other words -- how 'balanced' are they?
I learned to beware particularly when someone is always on *only* at specific times (like only late late at night, or never EVER on during normal non-work hours, or ONLY on Wednesdays or some stupid thing like that). If that's the case you have to wonder "hmm, are they only there when their wife isn't home?" or what.
Like ANY relationship you have to see these folks mad, glad, sad, worried, angry, tired, happy, in a great mood, over-worked ... the FULL range of human emotions. How do they respond when they are ticked off at the boss or tired? Often when you are seeing the real person you'll see a different depth to them and that's important.
My best friend is dog-walking buddies with a neighbor. The lady hadn't been around for a while and when she saw her again she got the story. The woman had developed a relationship with some guy online and he flew her out to 'meet' him (he wanted her to just move in)
The first day or two was great, suddenly she found he was possessive in the extreme, jealous and She decided to leave. Suddenly she was a prisoner in his home! He had taken her wallet & keys!! Now she went from merely annoyed to scared to death. She escaped during the night, and called a friend to arrange a ticket home.
The After she'd been home a couple of weeks, cops were at her door & they HAD found her wallet. This guy's wife had been missing and they FOUND HER -- in bits inside a car that had been sunk in some river. Finally they i.d.'d her and went to his house with a search warrant and found this lady's wallet, but not her. So the cops investigating this guy, and they had her local cops checking to see if SHE was alive.
So, I can't emphasize that it's important to be cautious -- but heck -- I've always been too cautious to go home with anyone I met in a bar anyway, and my ex was too weird for words anyway, so I've learned to be careful in the extreme.
There is a fine line between being 'smart' and being 'phobic'. But I just didn't want to leave this with anyone thinking I was 'bashing' any particular group. There ARE crazies out there -- it's just a different way to meet. And particularly for those of us who may not fit into the "popular" category, or who have particular personal critera (like I meant it -- if someone didn't like how much *I* liked my dogs or how much time, effort I spent on them -- GOOD BYE!!!!), then being online was a good way for us to meet.
I probably wouldn't like the current crop of dating websites -- because it's too much with everyone trying to impress everyone. For ME that was the draw of the chat rooms. Because if all they wanted to know as "what are you wearing" or "what do you REALLY look like" -- for get it!! If some guy was looking for a gorgeous lady, he'd better haull himself down to the local bar, or stand outside a beauty salon, cos he's not looking for me. Likewise, if he couldn't hold a 4 minute conversation without wanting to know what team I favored in the playoffs? Nope -- I don't like sports, don't watch them and have little patience with someone who would rather watch sports than go to the threatre. Which is another reason why Davey and I clicked!